BF and really struggling

[KittenSLittle]

Just wanted some advice on what to do for the best really. DS is 24 weeks, he was a low birth weight & v jaundiced, resulting in FF supplements for first 6 weeks. Since Xmas his weight gain has been dribbling along at 2 or 3 oz a week - he's being weighed every 2 weeks. HV very pro-BF, encouraging me to continue, but this time he has actually lost weight - 3oz to precise meaning he is now on .4th centile.

I am feeling v downhearted by the whole thing. I don't want to give up BF but it's devastating to think that you are failing your own son. Everyone says DS seems happy, alert etc. and the HV isn't concerned - she advised me to make him feed every 3 hours during the day, but I am sorely tempted to go to full FF so I don't feel like such a failure and I know he'll have had a full feed.

Currently I have to switch feed him as he gets 'bored' very quickly so each feed is a palaver anyway. He certainly is v contented most of the time and doesn't appear hungry.

Am I being a wuss about this? What would anybody reccomend?

Aw, Kitten, sorry it's a struggle

3 hrly feeds are not usually enough to build up and maintain a good milk supply, and deffo not enough to increase a milk supply.

First step in any 'increase my baby's intake' plan would be to feed more often. The fact he's happy and healthy is good news, and shows there is no panic needed, so what do you think about simply feeding him lots more?

Um... I fed my twins 3 hourly and it did build up a good milk supply. They were small at birth (2.6kg), jaundiced and v tired, but we persevered! It seems hard, even now, but it sounds like you're both doing really well, but maybe going through a hard patch?

BF babies will often plateau/drop weight at around the three months point, which seems to tie in with the slowing of his weight gain? I would suggest that you feed every three hours and try not to worry.

Soon you'll be weaning too, which I think is easier if you're BFing as less paraphenalia!

I do think the weight gain issue is overplayed; if he's happy and healthy and developing, then your milk is getting through to him. Perhaps go to a local breastfeeding drop-in and speak to a counsellor for support

www.theshockofthetwo.com

TheShockoftheTwo: it can be fine to feed 3 hrly, but many people who stick to this find it's not sufficient, and it's certainly not sufficient if a milk intake/milk supply needs increasing. Your own situation is different from the OPs.

I am probably going to say something you are not supposed to admit but here goes. If you are struggling to breastfeed then don't feel guilt about having to supplement with formula. I really struggled with bf and was constantly being told by hv to keep at it even though I was in pain and reduced to tears at each feeding time. Obviously do see a bf councellor but always remember you have options and a happy mother equals happy baby.

24 weeks is about 5 months right? You've really given bf a good go and should feel proud for what you've achieved so far.

By all means try to increase supply by feeding more often but if bf is making you miserable please don't feel gulity about switching to formula. I know on here this isn't a popular option (even though it's actually what seem to happen most in rl, cretainly amongst all the bf Mums I've met), but it's nothong to be asahmed of. I swittched to ff with both of mine at the 4.5/5 month mark as bf was adversely affecting my mental and physical well-being, knowing I'd given it my best shot.

The fact that the hv isn't worried is positive though, he's not failure to thrive which is brilliant.

Best of luck whichever path you decide to take.

As you'll see on the little acorns thread on here, there are lots of babies who do gain weight slowly but are happy, healthy and alert.

My LO lost a lot of weight (lots more than 3oz)at the start of the year.

Here's the advice I was given by an infant feeding specialist.
-Feed 2 hourly during the day.

• Express and try a SNS (supplemental nursing system) to get extra milk in to the baby.
• Feed more often at night (you haven't said how much your DS is feeding at night).

OK, this was my situation and it might be different for you DS. But I definitely shared the feelings of failure for a while.
Things are turning around now and he is consistently putting on around 6oz a week (he's about 20 weeks now).

It was hard work (I also have a 3.5 year old and a 5 year old ) but now I feel good that I did it myself. (btw he doesn't actually have a centile yet to sit on!!)

Don't get too hung up on charts and lines- I'm pretty sure that if there was a problem your HV would be straight on to it and you say she is happy with the weight.

Thank you. Minx, by my reckoning he's around 5.5 months but I could be wrong! Tiktok, I have been trying to feed him on demand this afternoon in order to build up my supply & his appetite. He seems to be feeding a little better. Badger, his feeding pattern Is usually 7am, 11am, 3pm, 5.30pm, 10.30pm then 3am. He is usually asleep from about 6.30pm and only wakes for feeds until the morning. Interested in the supplemental nursing system though, what is it? I have taken fenugreek in the past as well and am wondering if it would be worth doing so again?

Kitten - not 'on demand' but pro-actively. Sometimes laid-back babies need encouragement to feed more often than they'd actually 'demand'...so offering more feeds can be important if you're trying to boost intake

Kitten:
Here's the SNS details - I got mine through an Amazon seller

www.medelabreastfeedingus.com/products/breastfeeding-devices/51/supplemental-nursing-system-sns

It's a bit fiddly at first but it did the job.

I tried the fenugreek too (basically I gave anything a go) and I think it may have helped.

On the 3 mornings where I just had the LO, I sat with him and fed, fed, fed. I also tried skin to skin, drinking more water and just relaxing.

How often would you reccomend feeding him then Tiktok, and for how long? Should I use both sides each feed?

Just oftener than you're doing now, Kitten Another 3 times or so in 24 hours, maybe? And yes, both sides each time, offering side 2 when he has appeared to have had enough of side 1, and it's fine to go back to side 1 again. This is a short term measure - I can't tell, obviously, if there is an issue with health, weight or supply (and there may not be)...but this would be a way of dealing with it, if there is.
Hope this helps.

How are things today Kitten?

Doing a bit better thanks Badger! I've been trying to fit a couple more feeds in during the day and he's been feeding better as a result, although still not very long. I've also started taking fenugreek again as I figure it can't hurt! I also tried giving him a supplement of formula but he doesn't seem to want it...I feel a bit less hopeless than I did yesterday as I know my son, he is happy & healthy, and I'm sure we can work through this as we did before when we had weight issues. It just never ends!

glad to hear things are getting better Kitten.
You're right- you know your LO best, sometimes we just need to trust our instincts a bit more I think.

I had a terrible with my first baby, my milk dried up and felt like a total failure not to mention enormously guilty every time I fed him with formula milk. I wasn't told by my midwife, that there is a natural herbal remedy that is unbelievably effective at stimulating milk supply, I had to find that out myself and thank goodness I did.

Everyone in my possition should be told about it because it works within a day, its been around for hundreds of years and its completely natural. It saved me months of guilt and a lot of heartache.

I used this little practice www.pavilionpractice.co.uk, you can read a little about it on the website.

This sort of advice should be passed on by midwives, I can't recommend it more. Nicky Wesson who is the herbal practitioner that I saw is lovely and really good to talk to.