Tiktok or other BFCs, please help! Student in trouble

[FrustratedandConfused]

Name-changed because I know that some local NCT committee people use MN. Oh, and I'm sorry to 'hijack' this board for a problem that doesn't relate to my own breastfeeding! I didn't think it'd get seen by anyone relevant anywhere else, though.

I recently started the NCT's Diploma course in Breastfeeding Counselling, wanting desperately to help other mothers with issues and problems relating to breastfeeding their children. I've gone to about 8 months' worth of tutorials now, am signed up for the Intro to Diploma day and am working on assignments.

My problem is that this course, which I so wanted to enjoy, and go on to help others, is very firmly grounded in the counselling side of things. We have hardly ever discussed breasts or breastfeeding in any detail! I've also been told on several occasions that there are certain areas of knowledge that we simply aren't meant to get involved with, because it's trespassing too far into medical territory. For instance, we've been told we're not allowed to ask future clients questions about their circulation if we suspect Reynauld's Syndrome, which can have knock-on effects on breastfeeding and breast pain. Yet we covered some material on this condition in the one tutorial so far that did have anything to do with breasts. So why cover the material if we can't act on it?? I feel as if our hands are going to be completely tied once we do qualify.

I'm extremely frustrated, and I don't know if this is an issue with our particular tutor and the way she interprets the course, or with the Diploma as a whole. I'm currently wading through a couple of trite, badly written articles on counselling skills, and the amount of jargon and absurd posturing to obscure some very simple concepts is just depressing! I think, either you get this stuff, or you want to run a million miles from it. And I know which camp I'm in. It seems as if I can't complete the diploma without internalising this stuff, and I don't think I can, because I just don't believe in it. Sorry if that sounds arrogant. I probably am. I've got an academic background and I recognise bullshit jargon when I see it.

I'm on the point of quitting, because I never wanted to become a 'counsellor' - I want to help mothers with breastfeeding problems. I'm not shortsighted enough not to realise that of course counselling and interpersonal skills are very useful tools to employ when a woman is upset or confused as a result of a bf problem, but speaking to my friends, none of them say they'd want their hands held rather than solid, disinterested information and yes, advice (we are not allowed to use this word!) about their particular problem with bf.

Sorry, I'm getting all garbled. I want to help women with breastfeeding problems. I don't want to have to spend the spare time of the next three or so years of my life wading through interminable texts on counselling skills and virtually no time whatsoever on anything to do with breasts!

What I wanted to know was, have any of the qualified NCT bfcs (or students) on MN had similar dark-nights-of-the-soul about this course? Could you convince me that I just have to look past this stuff to the end result? And what are your thoughts on how the course is structured?

Apologies for a really boring post! I didn't know where else to stick it.

There was a recent post about this issue, have just found it: here although I think it concerned a peer support course, but still run by the NCT.

I just remembered the other thread because I am currently on a peer support course and I think that reading through that thread helped me go into it with a better idea of what to expect. It is strange though, as I would expect more "support" type training on a peer supporter course, and more "practical" type training for a BFC course. Although I suppose the job title is "Breastfeeding counsellor" which does suggest emotional, rather than practical, support. And the emotional issues are a big part of successful breastfeeding - so probably important to get your listening skills etc honed first, before you start thinking about practical help. All the practical help in the world is not going to help a mum if she does not feel you are listening and understanding her problem.

HTH - sorry for rambling!

Sorry you're finding it not what you expected, OP....but I think this is something you need to discuss with your tutor, or with another tutor if you feel it would help.

Students do go to different tutors, if they feel their group or their tutor is not a good 'fit' - not sure if that would be possible for you.

Read the handbook - you'll see that breastfeeding knowledge is assessed, and you must have a good grasp of the technical side of things.

There are many ways to support breastfeeding. Being a breastfeeding counsellor is only one way. There may be other ways that feel more comfortable for you

So much of breastfeeding is about a woman feeling confident and comfortable with the knowledge that she can do this thing.

I remember sitting in my lounge, with a MW, who was trying to describe the way to get a good latch. My newborn DD being shoved onto my breast, I was so confused. I couldn't get what she meant at all.

DD1 had a tongue-tie, thank goodness, which meant that I ended up going to a BF Clinic to get it snipped. There, a BFC showed me gently how to get the best latch. When she turned to me and said "you see, that's great. She's enjoying that. Persevere, and when she's 3 months old she'll feed and break off for a smile, then feed again, it's a wonderful feeling", I was so encouraged. She had given me hope, and she had given me the underlying message that she expected me to still be feeding in 3 months' time. She thought I could do it.

I found the transition from academia to nursing (reflective practice) tricky at first, but actually you can just roll with it, let what suits in & brush the rest off.

OP - just to add before I go to bed .....it sounds as if you are uncertain about what is known as 'boundaries'. A bfc really can't go into medical territory - we're not trained or insured for it, for a start. We have to know that reynauds exists, and what it's like, but only in so far as we can ask a mother if she could discuss it with her doctor, or, if she already has a diagnosis, to support her with bf in the face of the effects.

I can promise you, our hands are not 'tied' because we don't go into medical stuff, and we are not 'tied' because of not advising people. Read some of the stuff I do here on mumsnet - I never offer medical advice (though I can suggest what a mum might bring to her doc's attention, or point her in a direction to get more info). I never advise people what they ought to do, either - that doesnt mean I can't suggest an approach for them to consider, or that I can't explain to them what might be happening with their baby.

This will become clearer as you progress through the course, I think

Thanks for all the help and support here.

I do understand that of course we're not being trained medically, but when I read all the trained BFCs on MN, they have such a wide knowledge base about the physiology of the breast and about practical problems in breastfeeding, and it just doesn't seem that very much of our course is going to cover that knowledge. The handbook (the green one, the course has recently changed a bit, I think) does include a couple of assignments on how breastfeeding works, but TBH it's a lot less emphasis on this side of things than I was expecting. It doesn't really help matters that I decided to start the course when the syllabus was being revamped (I don't know by how much, though) and I didn't have a current handbook to look through while I was deciding whether to start or not. Not anyone's fault though, just bad timing!

Of course, we're expected to do a lot of private study for the diploma, and not everything will be covered by tutorials, and this, presumably, is where the breast material comes in. I think I'm unhappy because I just don't get all the counselling theory - I'm not talking about lack of comprehension (much!), I just mistrust a lot of it because I have a sneaking feeling at the back of my head that it's mostly smoke and mirrors. I know this sounds really arrogant, and I know there's nothing worse than a newbie who starts criticising things before she can see how they work.

For what it's worth, I get a lot of indirect encouragement for continuing with this course here on MN, because I can see how counselling methods and listening skills really do help women when they're experiencing BF problems. I have a huge amount of respect for the BFCs and peer supporters on MN - probably the main reason I decided to do the training was because I could see how much difference they were making to mothers who posted with problems.

I think it's helped me to work through my disappointment and confusion here, but I do still feel as if I'm on the wrong course. Maybe I should talk to my tutor about this, but I did voice some of my worries when I was being formally reviewed to start, and I didn't get the impression she really understood what I was on about.

Thanks for the help! We should have a BFC support thread on MN, maybe? It's not something I feel I can discuss on the yahoo BFC group, because that's not exactly anonymous. I wish there were a mentoring system within this diploma, because the only people I can talk to in RL about this are fellow students!

OP, if it is any encouragement to you, when I was doing my first degree in social studies, we shared modules with those on the Social Work degree. They were all being taught 'reflective practice'. I remember that student relations between the two groups were not great. The SW students felt that they were 'superior' because they would be professionally qualified at the end of the course, and we felt that they got off extremely lightly because they had about half the essays we did.

One day it came to a head, when one of the SW students was banging on about reflective practice & how we should be doing it. I blew. I remember saying "Look, you can do all that fluffy reflective stuff, examining your naval and how you feel about it, but that's not what I signed up for. I'm an academic, not some fluffy touchy feely self-examining 'practitioner', and I won't have you make me one."

I often chuckled to myself 3 years later as I had signed up for a Nursing course, where one of the main components was 'reflective practice'.

You don't have to agree with all of the different methods you have been taught. I certainly am not comfortable with many of the cycles of reflection out there. But you will find one or two that you can relate to, or just tolerate. More importantly, you will understand how what you say, or even don't say will influence the women in your care.

You will have a position of great power. There is a bizarre transaction that takes place in a vulnerable person's mind simply because you hold a title, and that title signifies that you can solve their problems. I will never forget walking behind a curtain to find an older gentleman completely naked. On apologising for my error, he said "It's alright, dear, you're a nurse." - I was just popping in to take a cannula out of his arm.

F&C - there is a lot about how bf works, I promise you! You have to know a lot of it, and looking through the learning matrix of your handbook will show you the entire list of topics you will be expected to have covered. It's massive.

Your tutor will be unlikely to teach much detail (about the way bf works) directly - you learn from your reading, from student colleagues in your tutorials and their presentations and contributions, and this is because the tutorials are only a small part of your learning. I think you have understood this, from what you say here.

Counselling theory is not something you 'get' in just eight months and a handful of tutorials. It takes time to absorb and put it into practice. However, remember NCT bfcs learn (and are assessed on) counselling skills - the main books on the reading list focus on these, rather than theory, and you can choose (probably like most students) not to read a lot of theory if you prefer not to.

I would absolutely not like a BFC support thread on mumsnet, for all sorts of reasons!

If you can't talk to your tutor about this, then you need to find another tutor, seriously...this does happen from time to time. I think you'll find help in working this through only if you 'own' your concerns, express them to someone who can explain better than I can about the structure and aims of the course and discuss with you if it is a good 'fit' for you.

Hope you get it sorted!

OP, I am a student BFC approaching the end of my course - I could probably have written a similar post to yours near the beginning when I realised that to complete the diploma I would have to learn a lot about totally unfamiliar concepts - reflective practice, counselling skills plus the way the course is delivered was nothing like the other qualifications I have.

I would second all that tiktok says, also I don't know if you are aware of the yahoo egroup for trainees. I also agree that there is a lot of course content that is specifically to do with breastfeeding - this becomes more apparent as you get into the assignments.

if you would like to discuss more, you can email me on greenwichnctvolunteer at googlemail dot com