Combination feeding but want to breastfeed exclusively

[arabellaandbaby]

Hi everyone

Is there anyone else out there who, like me, is finding they are having to formula feed to supplement BF? My 15-day-old DD is simply not getting full from BF, and when I put her down for a nap after a feed, she will start screaming her head off after about 10 mins, after which I always end up FF her to settle her and she will then sleep for up to 3 hours.

I never thought I'd have to FF DD in the first 6 months and only ever wanted to BF as we all know there are so many benefits to BF including convenience. Atm, I am having to wash and sterilise bottles and teats as well as BF and it can easily take up to 2 hours to feed DD (which is not great in the middle of the night!).

I eventually want to be able to go onto BF only, and do away with FF altogether at least for the next 6 months, but I can't see this happening.

Advice please, anyone? Much appreciated.

Hello and congratulations on your DD

I had similar experience both times - with DD, I had no support and continued giving FF much to my disappointment.

With DS, he was jaundiced and we had to give him FF after every BF (again, I was devastated about this, felt like I'd failed ). But I kept pestering midwives that I wanted to drop the FF and they made me realise I can do it. So when DH trundled back to work after paternity leave, I couldn't be arsed to make a bottle after DS's feed. So I just kept feeding him! It was a couple of difficult days (DS was the same age as your DD) but totally worth it.

You can do it - it'll be tougher while your supply increases but really, it's worth it.

Hi, arabella. Combination feeding can be the hardest and fiddliest way to feed

The thing that strikes me from your post is that you are judging how satisfied and full your baby is using misleading criteria. It is perfectly normal for a baby to wake and cry 10 mins after a feed, and to dislike being put down to nap away from mum. This is the biology of infant development

Instead of expecting to 'fill' your baby and have her sleep afterwards, how about holding her after she has shown you she has had sufficient milk for the moment, and then offering the breast again when she stirs (which she may well do)?

It's highly unusual for a new baby to feed and then seep uninterruptedly for 3 hrs...most babies of your little girl's age will feed many, many times day and night, with the beginning and end of feeds blurring into one another. This is good - it builds up and maintains an excellent milk supply, and also helps build robust emotional and mental health, because the baby's needs are responded to.

Giving formula in the way you are doing undermines breastfeeding by reducing your supply. It is also complicated and time consuming (as you have found ).

If you have only been giving formula for a short time, you could discuss with the midwife the option of simply not giving it at all, and giving breastfeeds only, with lots of skin to skin, cuddles and closeness, so you will bf often and make sure your supply matches her needs.

Hope this helps.

PS - when she wakes up and 'asks' for more (you are still holding her at this point) offer her the side she didn't feed from last time. In the early days, frequent use of both breasts can be important to build up supply.

MathsMadMummy thanks for your advice. So did you just keep BF your DS on demand until your milk supply increased and he was satisfied from BF alone?

My midwife said if you were to BF alone, then you could feed anywhere between 12 and 16 times within any given 24h our period. How can this be possible? You wouldn't eat, sleep or do anything other than feed DD/DS all day!

tiktok thanks for your post. It's helpful to see it from that point of view. But, like what I asked MathsMadMummy, does this mean that you would never get away from just feeding all day and night??? I'm a first time mum so don't really know what to do. Been pestering midwife too, and they said using formula to supplement BF is fine if it settles DD.

Yep we had a couple of days where he was just BFing constantly but then my boobs seemed to figure it out and he gradually took more at each feed. Unfortunately constant feeding is part of life with a newborn! Is there anyone to help you out with all the other stuff - changing nappies, getting you food etc... then you can just sit down and BF as much as you need.

It will get better! Honestly, you just have to trust your body.

You get into bed with your baby and just feed on and off all day long for a couple of days - if you have any help (DP/DH, mum, friends) they can make sure you are fed and watered. It won't be forever and there's a reason why many new mums spend all day in their pyjamas and don't do any housework!

hi arabella. its difficult to say for sure online but i would say feed feed feed. when ds was having a growth spurt, i had to feed him 1.5 hours round the clock. within 48 hours i had ALOT more milk. that is simply how it works, and the babies (clever little things seem to know this. at first, it may feel that you are feeding feeding feeding and yes it does go on and on and on, but in the end you will have a fab milk supply and DD will have all the benefits of breastmilk, and you will feel very very proud! everyone's a winner!

does dd stop screaming if you pick her up and give her a cuddle, in which case, she wants to be near you. does she stop if you feed her again (yawn!) in which case she is hungry. your breasts will produce the milk she needs, even if the feel empty . very clever things!

if in doubt plug her on

My DH went back to work this week after his paternity leave so there's no one to do all the other stuff around the house until he gets back in the evening. He works 12 hour shifts from 5am until 5pm. I still have to cook, clean and wash, not to mention sleep! How could you possibly have time to do all these as well as look after and feed a newborn? I feel I'm stuck! Both my mum and MIL live to far away and are unable to come to stay with me whilst I sort myself and DD out.

arabella - yes, it's time consuming to breastfeed esp when you are 'fixing' it from combination feeding. That's why you need help to do other things - but you can also do a lot of stuff and hold your baby and feed your baby as well.

There's a lot of Mumsnetting goes on that way , a lot of phone calling, a lot of TV/DVD watching, a lot of one-handed eating, a lot of book and magazine reading, a lot of socialising and chatting with others...these frequent feeds are not long feeds, BTW. And this stage does not last long.

clearly very difficult for you arabella, as very little support. you can co-sleep if that helps - stay in bed all day while DH away. FORGET about keeping the house clean / orderly, for a while, until you have this figured out at least. Go to a babycafe, if there is one near by - the least they will do is give you a cuppa and a biscuit.

yeah - mnetting and tv/dvd watching. set yourself up on the sofa with phone, food, remote control and have a feeding fest. and don't give any formula .

my friend did this - she went cold turkey, and yes it was a bit hard at first but i reckon this early on - your dd is only 15 days old, it shouldn't be too long before you are full time bfing!

Missed your last post, sorry.

Cleaning: no need to do anything more than maintain basic hygiene in kitchen and bathroom at the moment.

Washing: can DP put a load in the washer before going to work and then take it out when he returns?

Eating: ready meals, take outs, just for the moment, with DP maybe making a sandwich for you for lunch before he goes to work?

This has got to be loads easier than what you're doing at the moment, with the 2 hour breast and bottle feeds, surely, and the bottle washing and so on?

OK, well forget about cooking, cleaning and washing! Honestly, just for a few days. Get some ready meals in or cook something in bulk and freeze half - or get DH to cook something. My DH is useless in the kitchen but can manage a very nutritious and filing jacket potato. Fit in showers as you can, again get DH to help with the washing. You can do the odd bit when your DD is asleep (maybe plan one thing each day, e.g. one meal in bulk, or some washing, hoovering etc), but looking after a little baby can really be a full time job.

I had an idea that I'd be at home 'doing nothing' with my new baby and would be able to do all the shopping, cooking, cleaning etc plus lovely little projects. Four years on I'm ok with the housework but still no time for projects (except MN!).

Honestly I'd say don't worry about housework at all - tiktok's advice (as usual) is spot-on.

Thanks for your priceless advice, all. I will have to give the couple-of-days-BF thing a go and leave all the housework to DH. All your helpful posts should persuade him that he'll have to get his hands dirty at home as well as doing 12 hour shifts at work! Hopefully, I'll have come off FF completely by end of this week.

You'll be doing 24-hour shifts with your baby, don't forget! Good luck, remember you've got MN for support too.

Hi Arabella. You have loads of great advice on here but as with everyone else i wanted to tell you that you can do it.

DS is 10 weeks old now and was exactly the same as your DD. He had the 2 hour feeds and would instantly wake up when put down and i spent about 2 weeks staying up through the night holding him and finally giving him and giving him formula in the early hours so i could get some sleep. We started co sleeping which worked so well for us so maybe you should give that a go.

The good news is that our feeds are now down to about 30 mins and he's recently started being happy to sleep in his moses basket or pram and i can put him down awake and he can get himself to sleep.

Also, have you got a sling? If DD is wanting to be close to you but actually isnt hungry maybe a sling would work so she falls asleep in that and you can get lunch etc?

I hope things get better for you soon.