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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

3 Week Old ... HELP!

50 replies

lovinit · 18/07/2005 04:46

DD is now over 7lbs and I am having huge problems in getting her to stay awake during the day and take big enough feeds during the day, which leads to her waking constantly during the night. I am currently doing the 10pm feed with EBM of around 3-4 oz and she still wakes another 3 times between then and 7am ... It is tiring me out so much !!!! Any tips on how to reverse the day/night cycle ???

Any advice welcome ! Also, I am roughly following GF as I did with DD1 , but not strictly.

OP posts:

Mojomummy · 21/07/2005 10:19

Lovinit, my DD was just the same - just go with the flow & feed her. Let yourself & her build up a really good feeding/milk supply & bond.

I feel for you, because my DD was so attached to the boob. Not against dummies, but I wouldn't introduce one yet in case of thirst etc

oliveoil · 21/07/2005 10:24

Lovinit - please please go with the flow love, she is tiny. I tried to get dd2 in a routine far too early and stressed myself out and didn't enjoy this gorgeous (but knackering) new baby bit. I felt like I was feeding ALL THE TIME but in retrospect I wasn't.

I remember being awake from 2am one night, she fell asleep at 6am then dd1 woke at 7am! I thought how on EARTH am I going to get through the day? But I did and you do.

I fed whenever she woke in the early days and she has NO 'bad' sleep associations now, fed her next to me in bed to make it easier.

Throw Gina in the bin and retrieve when she is 3 months or so, she can talk sense but not in the early days imo.

NotQuiteCockney · 21/07/2005 10:28

I think Gina Ford is excellent for the early days ... you can read her, and if you p*ss yourself laughing, then you need to do more pelvic floor work. (Particularly the bits about ironing all the labels in the baby's clothes flat!)

oliveoil · 21/07/2005 10:30

lol 'must have toast and water by 7.14am PRECISELY' etc.

I do think some of the advice is good, but really, what baby feeds on schedule? Neither of mine.

NotQuiteCockney · 21/07/2005 10:32

Have shower at 8:03. Soap up for three minutes, rinse for two. Wash hair: lather, rinse, repeat. Turn off shower when done.

Original poster

lovinit · 21/07/2005 11:32

Thank you ffor all the support ... It does make me feel so much better . I have just out DD2 down at 6:15pm, as she was fed and just could not stay awake. Am waiting for DD1 to get to bed then i am too ! I also had food poisoning last night so my energy is sapped .

Please stay with me on this thread ! I will let you know how it goes tonight !

OP posts:

moondog · 21/07/2005 11:39

Imho 3 weeks is way too early to be even thinking about a routine of this sort.

Why not enjoy the surreal sensation of escaping the tyrannies of the clock? It's literally only for a matter of weeks.

oliveoil · 21/07/2005 11:41

Agree NAP WHEN YOU CAN. I used to clock watch for midday ish when dd1 would sleep for 2 hours guaranteed, and just fall into bed with a sigh with dd2 next to me. Sod the housework etc.

Mojomummy · 21/07/2005 13:52

I thought it was JUICE & toast at 7:15 am ?

welshmum · 21/07/2005 14:04

Lovinit I so agree with oliveoil. I made myself so unhappy with dd trying to get her into a routine too early - my whole day was judged a success/failure depending on how the routine had gone - not on getting to know my baby.
This time with ds (8 weeks) I'm doing my best to just go with the flow - letting him sleep and feed when he wants, maybe at 3 months I'll introduce some structure but I so want to have lovely memories of the early days - not just a stressful nightmare.
Good luck and keep posting - the early days are a blur of no sleep and constant feeding for everyone I know - we'll get through it together.

tiktok · 21/07/2005 14:13

welshmum, I hear this tale so often: a mother comparing her baby's day with one in A Certain Book, and judging it according to how close it is to it. She then wonders if there is something wrong with what she's doing if the baby's day strays too far away from This Certain Book. It's a good day if it approaches what This Book decrees.

Crazy, crackers, mad, and as you say, it can ruin the early, magical weeks.

There is bags of time to help a baby into a routine later, if that floats your boat.

blossom2 · 21/07/2005 18:56

Lovinit... just to say hope you have a better night tonight ... my DD2 is fast asleep and has been so for the last 2.5 hours. it think i need to wake her so god knows what kind of night i'm going to have .....

Original poster

lovinit · 22/07/2005 01:35

Last night different . I was so tired and DH was out so i went to bed at 7:30 and slept till 10:45 on and off . I NEEDED it ! Then woke DD2 for a feed . She then woke at 3:10 which was really good, but took me constant feeding (or rather her suckling) on and off for an hour and a half before she settled back to sleep. I did what you ahve all suggested and stayed in bed with her so I could catnap. then she woke at 6am, I cuddled her straight away back to sleep till this am at 7:30 when I woke her up ... so not too bad.

However, with naps, would you all say that it was ok to rock her to sleep ? She doe snot seem to be able to sleep on her own ... I really want to avoid it but like yesterday, everytime I put her down she cries. Is it too early to teach her to sleep by herself ?

OP posts:

blossom2 · 22/07/2005 08:06

glad last night went better Lovinit. my DD2 decided to cry for 1.5 hrs last night and we could not figure out why. it was horrible because we were both so tired.

i've always had the view that for the first 2-3 mths and definitely first few weeks that whatever works goes!!! DD2 is in bed with us and i know she is using me as a dummy to get herself off to sleep and i don't mind for the time being. when she's 3-4 weeks old, i am going to start teaching her to settle herself (but gradually). not sure how i'm going to do it yet .

have a good day ...

tiktok · 22/07/2005 09:38

Going with the flow has already led to a better night for you, lovinit - that's great

Again, I ask, what's wrong with helping her go to sleep? Sometimes babies will fall asleep on the breast and that is ok and normal (despite what the Baby Whisperer says - she is dead aganst this for some reason). Sometimes they need a bit of rocking. Your baby is 3 weeks - she is still getting used to this world. Most of her conscious experience has been in utero. Rocking or whatever is needed is a kind, gentle, loving way for your baby to ease her transition from waking to sleeping.

She won't do it forever. You are not 'teaching bad habits'. She can learn, later, if she has to, different ways of getting to sleep.

Comparison: she is in nappies now. You don't think 'oh my God, we are teaching her it is ok to wet her knickers.....'!!! She is nappies because at present she is not able to control bladder and bowels, and she wees and poos rather a lot. In time, she will do this less often (that's physiology) and she will learn to do it in the 'right' place and in the 'right' way. Same with feeding and sleeping

morningpaper · 22/07/2005 09:45

Tiktok's advice is spot-on.

I would try to get lots of early nights yourself - tucked up in bed at 7.45 sounds like a good plan for the time being.

Remember that Gina Ford and Tracey Hogg didn't ever have babies. ;)

tiktok · 22/07/2005 10:19

Morningpaper - you're right about GF but not about TH.

I think the common factor to their books is that their advice does not take into account individual needs, or, in fact, research about how bf works.

NotQuiteCockney · 22/07/2005 11:56

I think having babies fall asleep on their own is great, if you can manage it. I never did. Both my boys only fell asleep on the boob, or in the pram, or the carseat, when they were tiny. Neither of them still need this.

Falling asleep while breastfeeding (for both mum and baby, really) is normal and natural. Why stress about it?

welshmum · 22/07/2005 12:32

It's amazing how much pressure these parenting 'gurus' can put on you - and not just 1st time mums too. I get so worried about the whole 'teaching them bad habits' line I really have to steel myself to do what I think is right for my baby. That's why mumsnet is pretty important, at least you can hear from real mums who can tell you that it's ok to let them fall asleep at the breast etc - lots of mums really need that reassurance, I know I do and I'm on number 2.

moondog · 22/07/2005 12:46

blossom2,re your point about 'using me as a dummy' some wise MNer pointed out recently that the opposite is true. A baby is using a dummy as a nipple because she hasn't got the nipple to soothe her as nature intended.

Original poster

lovinit · 22/07/2005 12:52

You are so right Welshmum. I am indeed reluctant to admit it, but I now realise that my whole concept of motherhood has been warped by these books which has 1) made me feel like a failure 2) made my baby seem to fail and 3) add constant stress and pressure to each and every hour. The routines work, but are they ready to be applied at such a young age as my DD ? No, is the answer in my case .

Also, totally agree on the invauable service that Mumnet provides .

Tiktok, your analogy to nappies is def spot - on ! I shall bear that in mind each day !

Blossom2, how ar eyou doing ? When was your DD2 born and how old is your DD1 ?

OP posts:

tiktok · 22/07/2005 13:31

'Using me as a dummy?'

No.

Using you as a mummy!!!

blossom2 · 22/07/2005 19:15

Hi lovinit ... DD1 is 3.5 yrs and DD2 is just 15 days old!!

i've posted lots of threads about coping with 2 and the stress of it all. also not really enjoying breastfeeding (it doesn't hurt) but not sure if i'm cut out for it.

DD2 has again spent most of the day asleep but she does have about 3/4 hrs during the day where she is alert which is nice. but generally i'm finding this stage boring and exhausting ....

Original poster

lovinit · 23/07/2005 01:29

Blossom2, yes I remember your thread and did add a few comments.

Last night was same again, 3am then would not settle till god knows what time as she was hanging on my boob and I fell asleep !

OP posts:

oliveoil · 26/07/2005 13:38

How is it going lovinit?

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