Please help me slowly and gently stop bf

[1stMrsF]

I have 10mo twins who were ebf to 6m and now BLW and still bf, no bottles. They currently have a feed about 10.30am one at about 2.30/3pm and one at bedtime, plus DT1 has one feed at night around midnight and DT2 feeds 2 - 3 times at night, whenever she wakes up. In the last week or so the afternoon feed has either been missed or very short if we are out and there are more interesting things to focus on; if we are at home they have a proper feed. They eat 3 meals a day and they eat well, but I've not offered snacks yet.

It's all gone well and I'm very pleased to have got this far, but now I am starting to feel it's time to stop. I'm tired and I'm happy to keep going for a bit longer but I need to know the end is near rather than it being open ended. But I'm not sure how to go about it and I'd be grateful for some help.

I've got two main questions:

If I want to stop completely at a certain point (I'd like to plan a weekend away for our anniversary whent he DTs will be 1yr+5weeks) how far in advance will I need to cut down?

How do I do it? They won't take a bottle and they are not great at drinking from a cup yet. Do I try to cut out the feeds or try to replace them with a cup of milk and a snack? What's the best way of replacing the bedtime feed? Should I get someone else to do bedtime with a cup rather than me?

I'm also worried about getting them to sleep without a bf and I'm already so sleep deprived that it's difficult to imagine spending any more time awake comforting without feeding.

Any other thoughts would be very helpful to me. Thank you

I think if it was me I'd start introducing a tommee tippee cup everyday for them to take a few sips from and over the weeks that follow they'll get more and more used to them. With both of my little ones it took time to get them to like sucky cups, but we always got there in the end with persistence and offering daily. You can't really do much about cutting out feeds until they like sucky cups.

You could use a doidy mug/ cup to feed them fluids from in the interim though? If you'd like to cut out the feeds in the day?

If you would like to try a bottle, my son wouldn't take a bottle at all and then at 6 months old I found one by NUK that he'd take with EBM in. I tried it when he was really hungry and he took it. I never looked back at that point and actually stopped breast feeding, as I just wanted my body back

The feed at bedtime is usually the one that is the very last to be dropped as it is so comforting for them. A lot of people continue to give warm milk in a cup at bedtime instead for many years. What I did though is increase the milk in a tommee tippee cup at dinner over time and decrease the feed at bedtime, until they had most of their milk at dinner and then completely cut out the bedtime feed. But you don't have to do that, you can just give milk in a cup instead for many years with the bedtime story.

I always continued to dream feed at 11pm at night until they basically weren't interested anymore. But when both of mine were eating 3 meals a day and eating well, if they woke after 11pm at anytime I'd either offer them water or some bonjela teething gel in case it was teeth and leave again BUT no feed. They didn't like it to begin with, but they got the message. If they woke at 6am or later then I'd offer a feed but basically after the 11pm feed until 6am I refused to give them a feed (unless sick) and just water or teething gel if teething. But that is just me Loads of mums carry on feeding for a long time at night. I just need my sleep too much.

There's good advice on night weaning on kellymom

You've got plenty of time, don't try and do it all at once. A small snack at 10am and 3pm isn't a bad idea but if they're eating well anyway and don't appear hungry then no need.

Anyway that's my opinion for what its worth x

Thank you, there's some reassuring advice there. I've switched to a tommee tippee cup for water at mealtimes and they are showing some more interest.

I can't answer the first question, but I would definitely start with stopping the night feeds. They don't need them (though if they are unwell they can still be good) and it will help you get more sleep. After that you can reassess and think about the day feeds if you still want to. It may take a week or so but it is worth it. I agree with Teaandcakes' advice on that: nothing between 11pm and 6am except water. It's easier if your DP is on duty for this!