I have a history of depression, going back many years. When DC1 was born I was strongly advised to take anti depressants and was prescribed sertralin (zoloft) as it was considered the safest one to take whilst breastfeeding.
When trying to conceive DC1 I stopped taking the anti depressants, and I have had a very tough year in terms of mental health whilst pregnant (no anti depressants, DC1 diagnosed with autism as well as background of living outside the UK in a place I don't want to be with little support). I always intended to go back on anti depressants when DC2 was born.
It's taken me three months to get up the energy to make and go to the doctors. However, at the appointment they told me that I need to stop breastfeeding before I start taking anti depressants. I got the impression that they would only prescribe them if I was feeling suicidal. I feel devastated that I've been given conflicting information from when my son was born and that I may have caused his atuism. I would never have taken them if I thought he would be harmed at all.
I don't know what to do. Every option feels like a no win situation. If I take anti depressants, I may harm my baby. If I don't take them, I may harm her anyway (from a developmental point of view I mean, not in a physical way) because I might not be interacting with her (eye contact etc) enough. If I stop breastfeeding I may not be giving her the best I can because she's not getting all the immunological benefits and closeness that breastfeeding brings.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? What did you do?