Panicky mum to be never breast fed before and dont know anyone who has!

[pinkmook]

Hi, I am due DC2 in June and intend breastfeeding. I did not get chance to breastfeed DS1 as traumatic birth and no one even broached the subject with me - was just given a bottle and off I went. Really want to breast feed this time but none of my friends have done it, nor my mum or sister. Am also due to have C section so worried how I will do the immediate skin to skin and try BF if I'm in the middle of being stitched up and they take the baby away - also what will happen if I cant get out of bed after op and baby needs feeding every 2 hours or more??

This next bit prob sounds really silly but after giving bit to DS even though I didnt attempt BF I never actually saw any milk IYSWIM?? do I need to try expressing before the birth so I know there is "somthing there" so to speak before DC is born??

I know I probably sound really stupid but I have no one to ask!

Thanks in advance

Thanks again for the further replies - you have all given me lots to think about and some info I have never seen before in the articles/books I have read

You've had some brilliant advice on here. Believe that you can do it.

I had an em cs and they put dd in bed with me straight away and there she stayed. No getting up at all. I had a spinal, which is what you'll have with an el cs and it starts to wear off even before you're in recovery. Within a couple of hours you'll have full use of your legs and though I wouldn't recommend laps of the ward, you will be able to sit up and shuffle across the bed to the goldfish bowl with the baby in it and back again with few problems. Or ring your buzzer!

I was discharged 12hrs post em cs, had no pain killers and was right as rain. DD wasn't interested in feeding at first and the recovery nurse reassured me that she was just shocked and sleepy and that I shouldn't worry that she wasn't immediately interested but to offer whenever she woke and to keep her close to the breast at all times. I did and she latched on about 18hrs after the delivery. She was exclusively bfed for 7 months and is still bfed now at 2.10yrs.

It can be difficult in the early days but my best advice to you is that it's always easier to change what you are doing. Don't worry about routine and what seems like endless feeding in the early days. This is normal. Trust the supply and demand process. Your baby will know what s/he needs and unfettered access to the breast is a good thing, day and night. Don't try and fight that at first, but make sure you take things as easy as possible, learn to feed lying down, ask for help, sod the housework etc.

And get a sling. Particularly if you have an older child as you can play/get up off the sofa and the baby can feed as necessary.

And take some pictures, especially of the post-feed milk drunk look. They grow out of it soon enough.

And yes, you CAN have a glass of wine - or two - whilst breastfeeding.

It can be tricky for the first week or two, you will question whether you are doing it all right, whether the baby is getting enough, etc. But you will grow in confidence. It's a bit like driving a car, daunting and very scary at first but once you've driven for a while it just becomes second nature, you don't even have to think about it.

Lanolin, I think it is called, is good for smearing onto your nipples to stop them cracking.

I managed to breastfeed without having to change my bra or wear shirts all the time. Mind you I have relatively small boobs, but I found that I could wear a polo neck and still feed discreetly no matter where I was.

Oh and you might get a strong let down where you squirt everywhere, if so then with a bit of practice you can really improve your aim

LOL @ rhubarb! I will remember that and DH will get it in the eye if being annoying also I am VERY relieved I can have a glass of wine!! I had thought I would not be allowed.

Can I just ask, someone further back in the thread mentioned taking painkillers after CS - what painkillers are you allowed?? Is it like with pregnancy and only paracetemol allowed?

Thanks for all the info - Ive a feeling mumsnet feeding topic is going to be very well used for me after DC is born!

It's not like pregnancy at all. Basically your breasts filter out all the toxins, so you can eat what you like (to an extent) and your baby will still receive nutricious milk.

Minute amounts of toxins from alcohol/painkillers will pass into the milk but nowhere near the amount whilst pregnant.

So yes, take those painkillers.

Hi, I bf after a csection with lots of lying down. I think it's good to bf esp after section because of the help with womb contractions which might not be quite the same as after a birth that starts on its own.

thanks Rhubarb - thats fantastic news as i was worried I would be in quite a bit of pain after CS and not beable to take anything - phew!

You can't take aspirin while breastfeeding (so no Anadin). The hospital gave me paracetamol and voltarol (which is quite strong when you take them together), including a few days supply to take home. I had to take them three times a day, and when I asked when I should stop taking them, they said 'When you forget to take them'. First week I did not forget, but the pain never got really bad.

I am at SOH not needing any painkillers!

I have had 2 DC's via section - and established bfeeding both times without a problem. I had no problems latching both DC's on in recovery. Milk came in at the end of day 2 with both. Here is my advice.

• Invest in bfeeding bras (get fitted around 36/37 weeks, M&S do a reasonably priced twin pack that will do you initially. Button down nightgowns are a great help (mothercare do a very good twin pack for about £25). Get breast pads and also some lansinoh (this is a must have IMO)

• Line your local support options up before delivery (La Leche/ NCT etc). If no one close to you has bfed, they may not be best positioned to support you.

• Be prepared that it is very hard work and extremely tiring. I know lots of people (myself included) rave about bfeeding, but the honest truth is that it can be pretty unrelenting. I have found bfeeding DS2 much harder than when I had DS1. The second csection took much more out of me, plus I have the demands of a toddler. I am carrying on because I have a lot of support around me, but it is by no means the 'easy' option.

• That being said, it is in equal amounts very fulfilling and fills me with joy. . There is a reason I hope to continue t for another few months!

Good luck - and come on here if you need support! Lots of great people to help!

everything everyone else said

and...

i had emcs and had skin to skin about ten minutes after he was born / me stitched up. he latched on and the rest is history .

sooooooo convenient, love it, ds loves it, everyone's a winner!

ps - one tip my mum gave me for establishing supply - 'if in doubt, plug 'em on' . when i was born it was wimbledon and she just sat on the sofa watching the tennis, feeding me while older dcs played... apparently this helps later on when you need to increase your supply. something about if you fed frequently early on, you will have laid down lots of prolactin receptors so increasing supply later on not a problem.

oh and remember a newborn's tummy is the size of a little marble!

Another one here who breastfed after emergency cs with no probs at all -- not much to add to advice on thread but wanted to add to numbers encouraging you not to dread it It's a fantastic memory, that first feed, for me anyway.

Good luck!

pinkmook - you mentioned that you don't know anyone who has BF before. So one thing you may need to be aware of is that you may get a lot of bad advice from the people around you, simply because they don't understand how BF works (it is very different from bottle-feeding). Based on what I've seen happen to friends, it's seemingly very common for grandmas to freak out and panic that you are starving their grandchild and tell you that you must give them a bottle asap!

So check anything you are told with people who know what they're talking about - MN is a brilliant source, also if you can find a local BF support group that may prove to be a lifeline.

Oh and BTW don't read anything into size and feel of your boobs in the first few days. Often they stay pretty much exactly the same for the first few days so you might worry that there's nothing there, which won't be the case.

Boobmeister - thanks for that advice, I really think I need to identify a BF support type group in my area neare to the time of birth. Im really worried about the whole thing really because I know It will freak my mum and sister out a bit - they are both very funny about their bodies (particularly my mum who has a history of being abused which may or may not have contributed to her attitude on this - Im not sure she doesnt talk about it) so its going to be difficult. My MIL did actually BF all 3 of hers but I do not live near her nor have a particularly close realtionship with her. PLus none of m friends have ever done it either so Im flying blind - I kind of have already resigned myself to the idea I will be crap at it and struggle because of this which \i know is wrong but also I know DH will not want to support me through a struggle with BF as I suffered quite badly with PND with DS and he will see it as adding another problem that doesnt need to be there

Just wanted to say don't panic if your baby doesn't latch on at first - mine didn't seem to have a clue what he was doing despite a completely 'normal' straightforward birth. I stayed in hospital a couple of nights and a couple of lovely midwives helped get him sorted. The first week was a bit of a struggle and I had a couple of really horrible nights at the 6 week growth spurt, but otherwise it's been great. Do make a fuss and get help in the hospital if it hurts (from friends' experiences).

Goodness pinkmook - look at how well you're doing already, educating yourself about BF and what's likely to happen, being aware of others' attitudes, looking for help on MN - and you're still months away from the birth. WELL DONE YOU - most of us never bother to do any of what you've done, even after the birth!

So I would say that even despite all these potential worries, you're very well positioned to succeed - because in my experience, it's the motivation and a certain bloody-minded determination to BF that gets women through it.

Definitely find a support group and if you can, start going before the birth. It'll be easier if you have those relationships already in place - e.g. if you need to call on help in the first few days. And don't feel awkward, I remember a couple of PG women turned up to my group in advance - we were all incredibly impressed and wished we'd done the same!

Thanks theboobmeister - I'm sure I'll be back here many more times after the birth! And thank you to everyone else who gave advice it really really is very much appreciated by someone in relative isolation when it comes to this topic.

Now I just have to try and remember it all til June LOL!

I had a planned section at 34 weeks and didn't breastfeed straight away and wasn't aware of skin-to-skin as I was unprepared -- her coming so early.

Also, in my Singaporean hospital they kept bringing her to me every 3 hours, which isn't best practice as I understand it in the UK.

Nevertheless my 5lb baby took to it and gained weight on her line and 16 months on is still breastfed on demand.

I had NO pain, NO leaking, NO engorgement (only a slight feeling once). I was up and at em straight away after the section and that wasn't really a problem.

I found positioning really really hard in the early days and it hurt my back until I cried and cried and DH brought me home an office chair. After about 3 months I'd perfected lying down and feeding.

A boppy cushion was invaluable and I still sometimes use it.

I found not drinking in the early days tough but now I just drink whatever (not to enormous excess of course).

It hasn't always been easy. I co-sleep still, which I never thought I would do. I spent hours and hours and hours feeding. Yes, I sometimes bloody resented it. I also feed to sleep so being responsible for every bedtime has sometimes got to me.

I also developed a form of anxiety after the birth I think a delayed reaction to her coming early, her taking a long time to conceive (Ashermans), preeclampsia, her being only 5lbs when born and I focused all of this on the feeding. I became obsessed. I read about nothing else, I worried about nothing else, I paid expensive counsellors, I cried, I talked about nothing else with DH for weeks and weeks. It's so nice to do it now without thinking about it. That took about 4-5 months.

But overall it's the best thing I've done and has shaped my relationship with my daughter. I can comfort her, I can reconnect with her after work.

For me, in order for it to work for both of us, I've had to go the whole hog and do attachment parenting. Co-sleeping, I don't have a pram and still sling her at 16 months (so does DH who looks after her while I work P/T, stil feeding in public on demand ... all that jazz.

I've had to shut myself off from dodgy comments from others about not sleeping through, still feeding in public, co-sleeping.

It is worth it. Even if I've had a bad day, I know I've done something good, and that makes me feel nice. And my DD just bloody loves 'lovely mummy milk, nice cuddle'.

Added bonus is you can s

One thing, a con, that people may not mention but I think is common, not exclusive, but more common than people think. It may affect your libido and fertility (I haven't had a period for 16 months)

I have touch overload. I just don't think about sex, don't particularly want it. If I do it, it's fine and once I get going it's ok, but really I can take or leave it.

This may also be due to the fact that my daughter doesn't sleep through and I'm always on half alert, but isn't due to co-sleeping (as you don't have to do it in bed )

For me, I'm not eager to get pregnant now so it't not an issue. But yes, sometimes I feel I should be out of the baby bubble and back to myself and my previous appetites. But it will come, I'm sure.

I honestly think though, dorisbonkers, that even new mothers who bottle feed often experience the dramatically reduced libido thing (though not the delayed periods of course, I guess).

Not to undermine your point but it's just worthy of mention, I believe, as it is perhaps misleading to suggest to the OP that this is a BF-specific thing. And FWIW, one of my friends who exclusively breastfed is the only person I know who was very keen on having sex again even in the early days.

Any baby, no matter how you feed it, is a major life adjustment and tough work to care for. Just the need to get used to your new life and the time it takes to fully recover from birth and the tiredness of night feeds (breast or bottle) ... no wonder lots of us can't be arsed with shagging for a while ...

Hi Dorothea, I take your point completely. I had in mind still lacking libido past one year really.

And it doesn't apply to everyone who breastfeeds, of course.

And some of us who breastfeed don't even get the delayed period benefit. Hrmph.

Believe me, MrsHappy, I'd sort of quite like to know I was still operational! Particularly as I had Asherman's before I had my daughter.

But yes, it usually can stop periods for at least the time you're doing it exclusively, or frequently at night, but there is a lot of variety.

One other benefit I thought of, although if you have another child this may not apply so much. I found it was a great excuse to sit around, and if someone else was there, get stuff for me. It's so rare in life to actually get to sit quietly for so long so often. Hang the chores!

I actually LIKED the nightfeeds and watching boxsets of The Wire/WestWing/MadMen, but then I am a bit weird.

I fed lying down for the first couple of weeks as I had loads of stitches so couldn't sit. Still breastfeeding at 14months.

During the first few weeks, I felt so much better during and after a feed. It was like breastfeeding was healing my stitches.

Good luck!