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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

I am really keen to successfully breastfeed my beautiful 5-day-old DD. Could do with some advice re co-sleeping, what's 'normal' and whether I'm getting into "bad habits"

10 replies

somethinganything · 26/02/2010 11:48

DD2 was born on Monday. She's absolutely wonderful and so far so good on the BF. MW weighed her yesterday and she's just inside the 10% 'acceptable' weightloss band, which I'm really chuffed about because DD1 had low blood sugar, struggled to gain weight etc and was prescribed top-ups in hospital from day 3, which I never managed to get her off. Mix-fed for 5 months but would like to BF exclusively this time if at all poss.

But it's all so different this time round and I have lots of questions. Because DD1 was having formula top-ups she slept for longer periods, fed far less frequently and would settle alone in her moses basket/chair etc. She got into a routine so quickly, not because we forced it but because she just settled happily and then slept for long periods, she's been like clockwork more or less since she was a few months old. By contrast, I'm feeding DD2 more or less constantly when she's awake, for example she fed throughout the day yesterday bar sleeptimes and went from one breast to another non-stop between about 7.45pm and 10.30pm, then fed again at 11.30 but I've no idea how long for because I've been co-sleeping and letting her just 'drop off when she likes', she then stirred again at 2, then fed at 3.30, then slept through til 7ish.

I had a c-section and found the first two nights (in hospital) a nightmare, they wouldn't let me co-sleep so I was getting in and out of bed throughout the night because I kept falling asleep feeding and was worried I'd drop her. She'd settle for 10 mins then want picking up and feeding again, which left me exhausted and sore. Plus I then developed a killer headache as a result of the spinal, which only fades when lying down. So, since I've been home I've just set her up in bed so that there's no risk of me or DH rolling over onto her and let her get on with it. It's working so much better and I feel I'm recovering faster because of it. Also, I've only cried twice since she was born - a complete contrast to the first few weeks with DD1 when I rarely stopped crying. So, I'm feeling a little bit smug and pleased with myself but also a bit anxious that:
(a) the fact that she feeds almost constantly when she's awake and also dream feeds a lot, meants she's struggling to get enough milk
(b) I'm creating the proverbial rod for my own back by not getting her into the habit of sleeping alone
(c) she might just be sucking for comfort much of the time and I'd have no idea

She's so tiny still that I'm happy to give her whatever she wants when she wants it but I also have a toddler who needs my love and attention and i"m not sure me spending more or less all day and night feeding is sustainable in the long-term. Plus I don't really want to have a six-month-old or worse an 18-month-old in my bed in the months to come. DH really wouldn't hack it apart from anything else.

Sorry this is so long but I could really do with some MN advice on any of the above: thoughts, experiences etc And in particular any advice on:

  • how I can very gently get DD2 into the habit of sleeping in her moses basket at least some of the time and eventually (though not in the imminent future) wean her off co-sleeping
  • any risks of/tips on co-sleeping that I haven't thought of
  • any general tips on breastfeeding and when I should be concerned that a) she's not getting enough or b) she's feeding too much
  • when newborns root and cry are they always hungry, I'm just assuming that it's always hunger and putting her on the breast, which she seems v happy with but should I be trying harder to see if there's another way of settling her?
OP posts:
ShowOfHands · 26/02/2010 11:59

Gosh your baby is 5 days old. I think you're over thinking it a little bit.

Firstly, congratulations.

It's normal for a baby to feed this frequently and it sounds like she is sleeping for stretches at night.

You cannot overfeed a bfed baby.

Signs that the baby is feeding effectively are lots of wees and poos, weight gain, periods of being alert, you should be able to see and hear gulping of milk.

You cannot get into bad habits with a 5 day old. Now is not the time for routines or worrying about self-settling.

Sucking for comfort is a good thing as it stimulates supply and really, why shouldn't they? By all means check other things first or offer a dummy if you want to but she'll let you know if it's milk she wants and as much suckling as possible is brilliant for supply.

Get a sling so that you can play with your toddler during the day and continue to feed.

Google co-sleeping guidelines but no duvets, no pillows, next to you, not next to dh, no gaps between the bed and the wall etc.

PacificDogwood · 26/02/2010 12:00

Congratulations on the birth of your daughter !

You are going to get swamped with advice on this one...

First of all, there is no such thing as 'bad habits' 'making a rod for you own back' etc etc when looking after a baby this young. She demands what she needs, there is no manipulation and no devious plan - you sound really chilled and going with her cues which is the key thing at this stage.

Secondly, her feeding nearly all the time just now is normal and in fact should be encouraged because she will be stimulating milk supply to meet her demands.

Co-sleeping: I do not particularly like having a baby in bed with me, but IMO it is the only way to survive when EBF a v young baby. I found mine had to be a couple of months old before they and I sussed feeding lying down which is just fab...

Info on co-sleeping and SIDS

Safe co-sleeping

Having been quite stressed out with DS1 and resorting to mix-feeding and stopping BFing althother @ 5 months, exclusively expressing for premature DS2, it took me to DS3 to get it 'right':
Follow baby's cues
Chill and look after yourself
Lots of skin-to-skin
DS3 moved into crib, then larger cot, then less and less night time feeds until I stopped BFing him aged 13 months all in his own time - no stress, happy baby, happy reasonably well slept mummy, all good!

I am hoping to repeat the experience in a couple of weeks time when DS4 is due .

Enjoy your LO and go with the flow: she will not want to co-sleep or have boobie soon enough...

ShowOfHands · 26/02/2010 12:00

Over thinking it btw is not a criticism more a 'don't worry for now and just relax and enjoy having a beautiful new little person to love'. Read it back and it sounded blunt. That's not what I meant at all!

tiktok · 26/02/2010 12:15

Totally, ShowofHands.....OP will benefit from just chillin', accepting her baby's current needs as normal for her current age with no absolutely no suggestion of trying to get her baby into or out of 'habits'

Enjoy your lovely new baby, OP!

somethinganything · 26/02/2010 13:22

That's really helpful - thanks, all. Will carry on doing what I'm doing then

I've got to say, it really doesn't feel like a sacrafice having a lovely newborn snuggled in bed with me.

re the sucking for comfort thing my only concern really was that it might, ultimately give me sore nipples and make BF harder or that by feeding her every time it would mask the real problem i.e. wind or whatever. But anyway, I think you've all answered that question.

Pacific best of luck for DC4

OP posts:
PacificDogwood · 26/02/2010 19:30

Thanks

Re comfort sucking: in itself it really is not a problem at this age, however if you feel she is shredding your nipple, then break the suction with your finger and take her off. She will soon learn .

I also found that if DS3 was really 3/4 asleep but taking him off just roused him again, gently putting my finger under his chin pressing upwards to kind of stop him from making a sucking movement often settled him down and properly to sleep. Or not, and then you just latch them back on again - properly, mind!

You sound like you are doing just fine.

BertieBotts · 27/02/2010 10:57

If it helps, think of it as nursing rather than feeding - it's not just about the nutrition, it's about helping her feel safe and comfortable too. There was a great thing someone posted on here once which was something like this:

How to know what your newborn wants:
Hungry - breastfeed
Tired - breastfeed
Worried - breastfeed
Cold - breastfeed
Hot - breastfeed
In pain - breastfeed

etc etc!

Comfort sucking shouldn't hurt (no more than normal feeding) and will help your nipples to "toughen up"

somethinganything · 27/02/2010 13:43

Thanks, both - have basically been doing just that. I do find it a bit tricky with a toddler as well but am on a real high today because MW weighed DD today and she has gained weight - so chuffed, I really thought I wouldn't be able to breastfeed properly.

OP posts:
LaDiDaDi · 27/02/2010 13:48

I just wanted to say that it sounds like you are doing really well!

Newbeginning1 · 28/02/2010 13:08

somethinganything - you really are doing so well to be breastfeeding and I do think that in the early days you need to do whatever you can in order to get through everyday and for you to be happy and to have a happy baby.

All I would say though is that DS is now 9 weeks old and has only ever slept in his moses basket twice in his life and because I couldn't tell between him sucking for comfort and feeding he know sees my breast more as comfort than food. I end up feeding him but he gets so comfy he falls asleep which means that he's not getting a good feed so doesn't sleep enough so no matter how much waking him up I do as soon as he gets my boob thats it. In hindsight I would have absolutely wanted to balance him having me and my boob for comforting and him suckling for my supply but also his ability to have some him time alone as we're now at the point where I can't put him down etc without him screaming because me and my boob aren't there.

In short, all I would say is maybe try and get a balance that works for you and your happy with and enjoy every day with your baby because it's still early days.

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