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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

AAAARGHHH!!! why does it have to be an issue?

11 replies

BooyhooNOTboohoooORbooyou · 23/02/2010 10:53

ok, similarly to many many babies who have been breastfed and survived, my ds is now 9 months and doing well. breastfeeding is not an issue for me it is just how i feed my child. i dont flaunt it, i dont hide it it just happens without comment being passed. and that is the way i like it. there shouldnt need to be any comments. it is normal.

so my mum had gone for quite a few months (thankfully) without feeling the need to point out it's cons and i thought she had maybe realised that just because it's not what she did, that doesnt mean it's wrong for us. then last week, i took ds to gp as he had his 7th high temp in a month (3rd day of high temp) and the gp said he was fine, babies can get high temps quite often because they havent the same immunity as adults. so relayed this conversation to my mum and what did she say? no, it wasn't "glad he's ok" or "you did the right thing taking him" or anything like that. she said "what, even though he is a breastfed baby?" but in a fake shock sort of a way with a satisfied smirk on her face.

yes mum, this does indeed prove that breastfeeding is wrong and that all women who do it are risking their child's health.

why can she not just leave it? surely she has enough going on in her life that she doesn't need to create entertainment out of belittling my choices.

i do love my mum but fgs woman just let it go.

OP posts:
nickytwotimes · 23/02/2010 10:56

Sympathies.

My MIL is like this.

I try to think htey they are just a bit defensive about their formula feeding - which they shouldn't be at all.

Noone's business how you feed your kid. You'r the one doing the work either way, aren't you?

I am pg with number 2 and already getting the feeding/weaning questions.

rubyslippers · 23/02/2010 10:57

how odd ...

why has she got a hang up about it?

FWIW, my DS used to spike really high temps for no reason and be fine within a day

he is 3.5 years now and hasn't done it for ages

sazlocks · 23/02/2010 11:01

feeling your pain op - my second isn't even a month old yet but I am already getting the comments about needing to wean him before 6 months as he was bigger than number 1 at birth and that he can't be getting enough food as he is feeding quite often.
It would be nice, just once, to get a positive comment from my mum about anything I do with regards to my kids.

BooyhooNOTboohoooORbooyou · 23/02/2010 11:15

she clearly does have an issue without but tbh the way she has been with me about it i really couldnt be bothered investing the time to try and find out why or to set her straight.

she bf me for 6 weeks and then didnt try to with dsis. i think this might have something to do with it. she always points out that i was always a sicker child of the 2 of us. (because that proves it doesn't it? )

i could write a list as long as my arm of things she says. i really should be used to it and just ignore it but it still grates on me. to me bf is a non-issue. there doesnt need to be an assesment of progress everytime something that might be remotely related happens.

i work in finance and it really would aggravate the hell out of me if my OH spent money the way my mum does. but i dont constantly point out where she is going wrong. it is her life, she makes her own decisions and mistakes. if she comes and asks me for advice i will give advice but otherwise i keep out of it.

there was a whole panic (with my parents, not me) a few months ago about getting ds weaned because i would need him off the breast for going back to work!! i am only working 3 days a week and come home for my lunch. even if i was relocated to austrailia i would still be able to express milk and send it home. she is a ridiculous woman.

i just wish she would stop waiting for me to fail. it aint gonna happen!!

OP posts:
Wisenheimer · 23/02/2010 13:03

Sympathies.

My mum is similar, she attempted breastfeeding with me, didn't like it so told the midwives on the ward that she wanted to stop, she keeps going on about how brave she was for formula feeding and how the 7 other women on the ward stopped after she did - turns out they were all scared of the midwives and they needed my mum to "be the brave one".

I'm pregnant with DC3, breastfed DS, had issues with DD, but plan to breastfeed this one, both my Mum and Dad have now taken to going "urgghhhhh" and "poor DH" every time breastfeeding is mentioned.

I've been ignoring them too but the "urghhh" is really grating on me.

Parents eh?!

BooyhooNOTboohoooORbooyou · 23/02/2010 13:06

why poor DH?

do the think he'll be missing out on feeding?

OP posts:
Wisenheimer · 23/02/2010 13:17

I think it's a mixture of them thinking DH won't be able to bond and that the poor man will have to hand over 'his' breasts .

tiktok · 23/02/2010 13:27

I don't get it.

Grown up women allowing parents to comment, even obliquely, on their sex lives!!! ?? Out of order, surely!

Ditto with the snide commentary from the OP's mother about breastfeeding. This should be Forbidden! Disallowed! Illegal!

Just calmly and adultly tell them these remarks are not permitted and they should cease. Why don't you do this?

Wisenheimer · 23/02/2010 13:33

Oh my Mum would LOVE it if I told her to shut it, she'd cry and run to my Dad sobbing about her unreasonable daughter and he'd pat her on her head and make her worse. Ignoring the pair of them is the only possible way to keep my mums drama queen act at bay.

Tis the lesser of two evils believe me!

BooyhooNOTboohoooORbooyou · 23/02/2010 15:22

tiktok, i have asked my mum several times not to do it. she is always able (in her own head) to justify saying something, though, and it continues.

i dont want to fall out with her so usually i let her witter on. because usually i am able to zone out. but sometimes it just really annoys me and i snap.

i can normally come up with a scientifically backed up retort, gleaned from kellymom. sometimes though i just know she wouldnt believe it anyway.

OP posts:
houmousandcarrotsandwich · 23/02/2010 15:42

My mum does this too and I find it so frustrating. I'd just like abit of support from my mum and to be told that I mite just be doing a good job.

At the weekend DS (6 weeks) was having abit of a growth spurt (I think!), feeding just under every 2 hours for a day or so, but all is back to norm now. My mum was quickly there saying "poor boy. I think your millk is weak/not satisfying him"
She also makes comments about how I dont know how much hes having each feed, which of course I would if I was FF.

Doesn't help my older sis FF her DD (and the light shines out of her a* anyway!) Mum Bf my sis for abit (not sure how long, no more then a month) and didn't with me because apparently I wouldn't take the breast.

I think if it wasn't for the support of friends who have breast fed, Hubby (who regularly says I'm doing a good job )and Mumsnet (where I can ask questions, or just read that I'm not alone), I wouldn't be bf'ing by now.

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