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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Can anyone share their experience of giving up breastfeeding?

23 replies

VigourMortis · 22/02/2010 12:21

DS is 5.2 months and bf on demand. He will take a bottle of formula, but only if he's sure there are absolutely no boobs in the area.

I have taken the decision to reduce breastfeeding down to just the nighttime feeds. This has not been easy but we want to ttc and so I need to ovulate.

I'm finding it heart-breaking trying to get him to take the bottle when he so wants boob and invariably give in - little progress has been made.

I wondered if going cold-turkey, no bf during the day, would be easier for me to cope with emotionally and speed up the painful process.

Does anyone have any experience of this? What support should I ask for from DP?

OP posts:

MrsBadger · 22/02/2010 12:29

before you start, I'd like to let you know my experience:
Like you I dropped daytime feeds first but I still didn't ovulate until I gave up bfing completely 6m later. Even 2 5min feeds a night were enough to stop me ovulating.

Not saying this will happen to you, but do think hard about how far you are prepared to go to get a particular age gap.

PrettyCandles · 22/02/2010 12:30

What if you tried doing it the other way around - encouraging him to give up night-time feeds isntead? Then dp could go to him when he wakes and give him a bottle. Either he will take the bottle or he will stop feeedign at night. You could try giving the first bottle as a dreamfeed at 10ish, so that he doesn't wake properly and may therefore not reject it.

Original poster

VigourMortis · 22/02/2010 12:34

MrsB, it's not that i'm trying to achieve an age gap, but rather than I'm 42..

I know I may have to give up the night feeds too, but hoped I could try this way.

Prettycandles, thanks. DP is worried DS will be very upset, firstly to see him, not me, and secondly to be given a bottle not boob. It's worth a try though.

OP posts:

PrettyCandles · 22/02/2010 12:36

That's why I suggest that the first bottle be one where he doesn't wake and actively ask for a feed.

But you must remember, if he cries, that he is all right. He is crying because he's not getting what he wants or expects, not because he is in pain or afraid. His daddy will look after him and love him.

Original poster

VigourMortis · 22/02/2010 12:42

Thanks Pretty that really does help - I just feel so hard-wired to meet his needs it hurts to deny him anything.

I have never done a dream feed. I usually wait for the squawk, he goes straight on, then I pop him back in his cot - he always goes straight back to sleep.

I suppose we have to try or we won't know what his reaction will be.

OP posts:

Picante · 22/02/2010 12:51

I know I went straight to a cup when I was 6 months - maybe you should bypass the bottle altogether?

nickelbabe · 22/02/2010 12:54

breastfeeding doesn't necessarily mean you won't ovulate though: i know it can, but i know 2 women who got pregnant whilst still breastfeeding on demand and 1 who had only just finished the 6month exclusive breastfeeding...

Original poster

VigourMortis · 22/02/2010 12:55

Thanks Picante, do you mean a beaker thing?

Has anyone gone cold-turkey though? I thought this would get the whole thing over and done with quickly and I could express a little bit to avoid engorgement. Actually my supply is a little on the tight side as it is so I don't think it would be a massive problem.

OP posts:

Original poster

VigourMortis · 22/02/2010 12:56

I know nickelbabe, but at 42 I might need all the help I can get. Good to know I could get lucky though...

OP posts:

TruthSweet · 22/02/2010 17:52

I got pg whilst tandem nursing and had only had 2 periods (I got pg on the 3rd IYSWIM). Have you got your periods back? If not you could try an ovulator prediction kit to see if you are ovulating.

Stopping night feeds (esp. early morning ones) will have the greatest effect on fertility and having a complete break from nursing for a weekend may also help to kick start things.

Original poster

VigourMortis · 22/02/2010 18:33

Thanks, that's really useful info - I've heard before that giving up the night feed is a good place to start but was dreading making up formula in the night in our freezing flat. Will stick a photo of a baby on the fridge to keep me going...

No sign of my periods at all. I never had much luck with OPKs when we were ttc but am pretty good at spotting the other signs of ov.

It might be too late anyway, but i would just like to look back and know I at least tried for a sibling.

OP posts:

peachylovesherpoochy · 22/02/2010 19:51

I am also phasing out BF, DD is 5 months tomorrow. She has been mixed fed from the start and I haven't done a night feed since she was 10 weeks old. I have been dropping feeds for the last couple of weeks, so now she is only having 2 morning feeds but still no sign of ovulating for me - have also been peeing on the sticks but never found them very useful either. Having just read what Truthsweet has written it appears I have been dropping the wrong feeds (doh!) I am going to switch fully to FF I think - Good luck with your TTC

TruthSweet · 22/02/2010 20:08

Peachy - By early morning I mean 12-4 am feeds not breakfast time feeds, if you haven't done a night feed in 3ish months I doubt cutting out anymore feeds would help much (could be wrong of course ). Your lack of ovulation could just be due to it not being very long since your last pg.

peachylovesherpoochy · 22/02/2010 20:29

Thanks for that Truth - haven't got a clue what is going on with my body at the mo!
Sorry about the hijack VigourMortis

DitaVonCheese · 22/02/2010 21:00

There is some useful info here re ttc while bfing, and kellymom has some info as well. There is a new ttc-while-bfing support thread over on the conception board - feel free to join us

PrettyCandles · 22/02/2010 22:00

How To Prepare a FF in a Freezing Flat

Before you go to bed prepare boiled water in feeding bottle. Put in insulated container.

Also measure out f powder and put in small tub with a tight lid.

Place both by your bed, next to dressing gown and slippers.

When it is time to make up the feed, tip powder into water. Shake. Only then get out of bed and put on dressing gown and slippers.

You don't need to give up feeding entirely in order to conceive. Dropping night feeds will almost certainly kickstart your periods, and you may even be able to reinstate some of those feeds - if you want to - without affecting your periods.

stottiecake · 22/02/2010 23:47

Vigourmortis - just wanted to say I was worried about not ovulating as ds was still wanting bf at night - we co-sleep too so he was feeding a lot. Anyway despite the night feeds (and a lot during the day too) my periods returned on their own 11 months after he arrived.
All the best with ttc
(going to check out Ditas link!)

GoddessInTheKitchen · 22/02/2010 23:57

hi, i stopped and went cold turkey, it took a week to stop leaking and be back to normal, it took two days for dd to love her bottle instead, so she got over it quicker than i did!

(just had to post so that you know it can be done and it can be easy)

DitaVonCheese · 23/02/2010 00:17

stottie mine returned at around 11 months too, though appreciate that may be a bit longer than the OP wants to wait! I read somewhere (the link above or Kellymom probably) recently that making changes to your feeding routine rather than giving up can make a difference to your fertility; I think I went back to work (though only two days a week) around the same time my periods returned, so I'm wondering if that was a factor.

Original poster

VigourMortis · 23/02/2010 09:25

Thanks for all the replies. Prettycandles you sound like you have some experience of night feeds there! Will get that sorted for this evening.

Dita I'll pop over to conception and find that thread, sounds great, and thanks for the website recommendation.

Goddess that's really good to know, I think it's the only way I'll get there. Did you express any off at all when you were stopping?

OP posts:

Boobz · 23/02/2010 10:20

I started dropping feeds (one a week) from 5.5 months so that DD was totally on a FF bottle by 6.5 months and me going back to work. It was heart wrenching, I won't lie, and it did take an awful lot of crying from DD (and a bit from me!) to get her to take her first proper feed from a bottle, but we got there in the end. After a month, it was all done and she never looked back (I still feel a bit sad though). Anyway, I got pregnant (without knowing until much later, ahem) within 2 weeks of starting to drop feeds, so was still doing the 7am and 7pm feeds (no night time feeds by this point - thank god!) which was faster than I thought it was going to take! Never had a period between the 2... am due in June.

Good luck - I hope both the weaning onto a bottle and the getting pregnant projects are successful ones!

Original poster

VigourMortis · 23/02/2010 13:28

thanks for all your kind words

OP posts:

GoddessInTheKitchen · 24/02/2010 09:56

hi, i expressed some before hand so i could mix my milk with the formula to get her used to it as she hadn't had formula before, i gradually put less of mine and more of formula, in fact i think i only did this for the first day or two

after that i only expressed minimal amounts to ease my full boobs

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