Dropping a feed in anger

8 replies

StealthPolarBear · 20/02/2010 13:27

DS is almost 3 and fed morning and night. He regularly comes in early in the morning and demands mi-mi. I can cope with any time after 5, but before that I struggle, and when I say no (get into my bed and sleep a bit longer) he tantrums, which usually wakes 5mo DD up. This morning I got very angry (had a dreadful night with DD, and had literally got her back to sleep 5 mins earlier - it was 4.30 btw) and told him no he couldn;t have mi-mi, that I was very tired and sick of being woken up and then having to re-settle the baby. I didn't feed him at all this morning, and later told him he couldn't have it any more in the morning
Not sure whether I've done the right thing. He's at the age where it has to suit me too IMO, but it isn't his fault I have a bad night with DD and have to resettle her. OTOH if he wasn't so loud in the morning, he wouldn't wake her.
Please tell me what you think I should do, I am feeling quite bad about this.

OP posts:

BosomsByTheSea · 20/02/2010 14:26

Hi Stealth,
Sorry to hear aout your disturbed night. I've no experience with feeding a 3 yo (mine only 5 mos now) but I wonder whether one of those toddler clocks would help to regulate the early waking if you decide you do want to carry on. like this

BosomsByTheSea · 20/02/2010 14:29

ps any ideas what to do with 2 5 month olds who have gone from sleeping 7 - 3am then 3 -7 ameach night to waking at 9, 11, 12.30, 3 and 6.30?

[yawn emoticon]

Original poster

StealthPolarBear · 20/02/2010 14:32

thanks bosoms, think i'll probably have to get one of those - we have tried with a light coming on but it doesn't work very well. will they stand up to toddler destruction though?
Do you have twins? No idea what to do sorry, except pray it's a phase what i'm currently doing with dd

OP posts:

Original poster

StealthPolarBear · 20/02/2010 14:43

bump

OP posts:

MaMight · 20/02/2010 14:53

I think you need to separate the issues.

It would be a shame to finish your morning feeds on a bad note.

Can you have a chat with ds and explain that if he creeps in very quietly and cuddles, then when mummy says it is time he can have mi-mi. Role play it at bedtime the previous night. Let him know how important a job it is for a big brother to know how to be as quiet as a mouse when it's too early for morning. I used to tell my eldest that "little babies don't understand about X Y Z, but we do, so we'll do it this way so the baby can learn too".

The other issue is whether you want to be feeding him at all in the morning at the moment. If you want him to drop the feed all together, let it be explained, and gentle, not in anger.

(This post struck a cord as we are currently on day 4 of 'No more milmees between bedtime and morning'. Eeeek!)

Original poster

StealthPolarBear · 20/02/2010 15:05

yes that's true.
TBH i think i do want to stop anyway, th morning feed goes on for ages and ages with me resorting to desperate bribery. the evening feed is calm and pleasant and ends when he goes to sleep, or after a while i get him toi lie down and i read to him.
Agree though that I proably don't want it to end through me being angry with him
Good luck cutting down to morning &night!

OP posts:

MaMight · 22/02/2010 17:06

Have you decided what you want to do?

How is it going?

SPBInDisguise · 22/02/2010 17:11

Have made a definite decision to do what i always do...sit on the fence
Night before last was a good night, he woke me at 5.15 so i fed him.
Last night was dreadful, was awake between 2.30 and 5.30, he was in my bed at 3.30 - has a cold & bad cough, he asked a couple of times then, i said no (don't feed at night any more) he was fine, next thing i knew he was waking me at 6 for beebies so no feed this morning. Think I'm going to feed if it suits me, but try to distract if i can. I think...
thanks for asking

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