How on earth can you BF newborn & look after other children?

[whatsthetimemrwolf]

DD is 11 days old and is bf'ing constantly, sometimes for 2 hrs a go but generally feeds for 1 hr on and off, then ready to start again 30 mins after. My nipples are cracked and so sore (thats another story!), I'm v tired as feeding is much worse at night and DD just crys when I put her down, I'm also recovering from c-sec. DP has been home to help with our other DC and I have been able to nap during the day but he only has 1 more week at home before hes back to work and will be away from home from 6am til 7pm.

I'd really like to carry on bf'ing but can't see how...DD1 is 6 and at school, DS is 4 and at nursery. I can't imagine how I'll be able to do the school/nursery drop off and BF even from a pure time point of view (3 drop off/pick ups per day - takes nearly 2 hrs!). Am also concerned new baby is taking up all my time and other DC don't get a look in.

How do you manage? Any tips greatfully received!

No real idea as I only have 1 ds but initial thoughts would be try feeding whilst dd is in a sling - think ring slings are best for this - obviously wont help with driving but will enable you to get on and do a bit more.

The other suggestion is try and get her into some sort of routine - although I appreciate she is still very young. Feed from both sides - if she is sucking for comfort rather than for milk take her off and try and settle her, perhaps try a dummy?

Have you had someone check your latch as feeding for 1-2 hours then again 30 mins later sounds like she isnt latched properly - esp if your nipples are cracked.

Try half an hour on each side then settle?

The feeding will settle down and the baby will start to feed more quickly as she gets bigger. So it will get easier.

Doesn't help with the traveling back and forth but when at home we watched a lot of tv for the first three months. Do you have a friend who could do the nursery pick up for you sometimes ?

I had smaller age gaps so I didn't have the school run problem but Here's what I did.

-Baby went in sling lots, this meant that when she would have been comfort feeding she didn't because she was getting cuddles

-I coslept, I got sleep while she got to nurse lots at night and so daytime feeding wasn't so much of an issue.

-breast compression meant feeds were finished quicker

-Sat around on the sofa loads while the other two wrecked the place entertained themselves

HTH a little. It is doable but sometimes you have lower your standards (in my case they are now non-existent)

things will settle down - you'll probably find that baby takes all her naps when you're on the school run. Just get through the first 6/8 weeks and she'll get into the swing of it. I found the hardest thing was always having to wake mine up from his naps to go and do school run. Re the feeds, try to work them so she always has a feed just before you set off - it might mean that a couple of the feeds are earlier than she'd like - again it's only for a few weeks and then her "routine" will be a bit more established.
good luck!
x

agree with what everyone else has said, esp Cathy suggesting offering a feed just before you leave even if she isn't asking. DS (now 3wks) is just starting to fit in with the nursery run.

and re giving up bf - if you switch to formula she may still want to take small frequent feeds, be cuddled just as much, including at night etc, so you will have given up for no good reason and have the added hassle of making up feeds, sterilising etc, as well as having to take more stuff out and about with you.
At least if she is hungry after the school dropoffs you can sit in the car and feed for 5min rather than having to dash home, boil kettle, measure powder etc.

ANd do please get your latch checked - if it can be improved you will be less sore and, as she'll be feeding more efficiently, feeds should get shorter and/or gaps between longer.

HAng in there!

Thanks for the advice, thats really helpful.

I have had my latch checked by numerous midwives who have all said the latch is fine. It may be that during the middle of the night feeds when I'm half asleep that I'm not paying attention to the latch and thats why I'm getting so sore. I nearly sent DP out for a dummy in the middle of the night as I couldn't settle dd without being on the breast. She fell asleep as soon as she was put on but woke up crying everytime I took her off. Will a dummy interfere with establishing b'ing? I couldn't bf my 2 other dc so was determined to get it right this time but on some days I'm just overwhelmed by how hard it seems (you wouldn't believe this is my 3rd dc - funny how you forget how hard the early days are!).

Great link to the compression thanks, will give that a try and also invest in a sling.

Thats also a really useful suggestion to feed before leaving for the school run and a quick feed in the car. Seems obvious now you've said it but it wasn't before!

I guess it won't hurt for DC to watch tv etc - good idea about getting them to make up plays. I just feel a bit guilty that I'm so busy with dd2 and as silly as it sounds I miss my time with them without a baby permanently on my boobs!

Thanks again guys, I really appreciate your advice.

As soon as there was an semblence of a pattern I pushed it so the big feeds were very early morning (before school) and after the other 3 went to bed. I would also do a big feed when I got back from school dropoff and try and get as much milk in as possible when they werent around. I also made it clear to them that I loved them all equally but a baby doesnt understand and sometimes they might just have to wait while I sorted out the baby. I explained that then they could have my full attention rather than a whingy baby getting in the way.

I was really worried about this too with a baby ds and school and nursery runs to fit in. I found quite quickly (a few weeks in) that I was able to bf DS once before the school run, sometime during the morning, once sometime after picking DD up from nursery at midday and then as often as he liked in the afternoon/evening after getting DS from school. I think the feeds worked out this way automatically because baby's naps were always happening whilst we were on the move. So he'd wake up sometime after we returned home and then would feed again and there would be enough time to go out again before he'd want to feed again. It worked out quite well for me because my times out and about were evenly spaced through the day. Although now I think about it my mum came over to help in the mornings the first few weeks so if I was in a panic she would do the school run.

you have my sympathies. it's a nightmare. I've found myself literally running after 18 month old DS whilst holding newborn constantly feeding DD at the breast with one arm. Had serious muscle strain after a month and she's still feeding like a monster at 6 months. All I can say is you get used to it and somehow adapt. Hang in there. The time between feeds does increase and it gets easier.

yes why doe school finish at afternoon nap time. So inconvenient

My 4th DC is 7 months old, and my others are 7, 5 and 3, so I've been in your place.

A sling to feed in/keep baby asleep in (I use a moby wrap sling), as others have said, is fantastic.

I found that once I was doing the nursery & school-run routine with DC4, he naturally got in to a bit of a routine that worked around them, whilst still bf on demand. EG, We co-sleep, and he feeds a lot between 5am and 7am, then continues sleeping while I get up and get others ready for school. He feeds and sleeps in the morning, but is very active and busy in early afternoon, so after school he has a sleep (often in the sling) while I am doing homework and tea. He then cluster feeds all evening.

If its possible for you to walk to school sometimes, rather than driving, I find that my babies have all responded better on days they get a decent walk to and from school, and then stay asleep, rather than days when they are carried in and out of the car.

When your others want your attention,get them to bring piles of story books over near you. BF and reading them stories are totally compatible!

Re the dummy - we were actually recommended to give DS1 a dummy by the midwife when he was only 24 hours old - best thing we ever did, and no it didn't interfere with BFing. And it meant he never, ever sucked his thumb!

Would agree if you can get through the first 6 weeks it does get easier.
I am still breast feeding twins 7 months and have 3 other dc's.
In the early days I used a ring sling to feed, allot, I went to a breast feeding group were they showed me how.
I also used to time feeds for before each run, but generally boys loved being in the car or buggy so didn't cry for a feed.
So I best advice I can give is try and slot the baby into your routine rather than the other way round,

Good luck and congratulations.

It depends on the baby really, it might be difficult but it does get better and really things do fall into place soon. It might seem like a huge task looking at it now but once you just get on with it you may find that it's easier than you thought. My older one had just started Reception when baby was born so I used to let her snuggle up next to me and look through her school reading books together while doing the feeds. Her reading improved loads during that time!

I only have 1 DS, but I just wanted to add that a dummy didn't interfere here either. I bf ds for just over 12 months and as soon as I took the dummy away around the same time. It was perfect timing. A little crying at night but he wasn't old enough to ask for it by name or anything. We also tried to only let him have it while in his cot.

dt's have dummies too, did't interfere with feeding either.