Feeding problems - help needed please.

[Hangonintherebaby]

Hello, Tiktok has advised I start a new post on this so apologies to anyone who has responded to my message elsewhere.

My son is nearly 6 weeks (though he was 3 weeks early and underdeveloped due to severe and undiagnosed pre-eclampsia). We're having real problems with feeding in that it seems to cause him huge amounts of pain and discomfort.

He latches OK but within minutes starts screaming and pulling away. I have to fight him to get him back on, even though he is screaming with hunger as well as pain - and then he will pull away again. He goes quite rigid and resists me trying -gently- to put him back on, but when he does eventually get near my nipple, grabs on furiously.

He has terrible trouble with wind (both ends) and screams in pain constantly when feeding and for some time afterwards. Last night he woke at 5am and then repeated a pattern of feeding with great difficulty for around 30 minutes, napping for 45 minutes and then feeding for 30 minutes again until about 11am. We sometimes get this pattern during the day too unless we are out in the pram which settles him, or unless I put him in the sling which also works quite well.

At the moment, it feels like I am pouring poison down his throat when i'm feeding him. It's incredibly distressing for both of us, and his Dad who can only watch and try and reassure us both.

If any of this sounds familiar I would love to know as I am totally demoralised and desperate. Getting BF established was really hard work for us both because we were both in intensive care after the c-section and separated soon after birth. My HV says this is normal but I am getting so frustrated and can't bear the thought that after all that work, feeding is such a trauma for him. I can't believe that such distress is normal in feeding your baby - and I don't see it in any other mums.

I mainly feed from one breast at each feed in an effort to make sure it is totally empty, though I sometimes switch if he has been on a long time and I suspect he is comfort sucking rather than feeding. We often change him half way through a feed to try and help expel wind/poo and the position of legs in the air helps. Also, he has had frothy and green poos recently. And there's lots of grunting, wriggling and coughing when he sleeps too.

We asked the doctor if it might be reflux - but he doesn't seem to have much trouble holding food down - he only throws up a whole feed about once every two days or so. He does bring up a spoonful or so after most feeds but nothing unusual. I am currently off dairy in an effort to see if that helps but have been advised to try everything from fenugreek tea to swaddling.

On the positive side, he has gained a pound a week in the last two weeks - his birth weight was 4.2lb and he is now just over 7. (1.94kg and now just over 3)

Sorry for all the detail and for this being so long but I really would appreciate some advice. Thanks for anyone who's been able to wade through all this!

Are you using anthing for the wind? My dd used to be distressed at the breast when she was weeks olds. I never worked out what it was. Does it happen at certain times of the day? We started using infacol and that helped her wind. Have you tried that?

It all passed with my dd but I wouldn't want to say it's a phase just in case it's something that needs looking at. Is there a baby cafe near you? Or La Leche League meeting? If you're comfortable saying whereabouts in the (assuming) UK I'll search for you?

Is your hv happy with his weight etc?

hi (busy feeding ds so typing with one hand only)

your experience sounds almost exactly like mine and i know just how terribly distressing it is when your precious baby behaves like that. i have felt rejected, like a failure and a very bad mum. we also considered reflux and even tried gaviscon for a while (made ds constipated ans stressed me out even more as i had to try get that down him as well as feeding him!)

tiktok suggested that it may be oversupply with a fast let-down and some other mners suggested kellymom

i did use the cabbage leaves as well as some of the other suggestions and started using colief (it was suggested by a mum in my bf support group) and i'm not sure what is was that or if it was just time but ds is now 9 weeks old and DEFINITELY settling down and still ebf.

do you attend a bf support group? try La Leche League/NCT or you local children's center, i can definitely recommend it. it is great to meet other bf mums and babies.

i hope that there is something you can use in all of this but feel free to ask me anything else.

do know that you are doing a great job and that it does get better

Good you posted with more detail, hangoninthere....and it sounds very, very like oversupply to me. It's the killer weight gain that adds to the picture

Wow - he's made up for his tricky start, hasn't he?!

A call to any of the helplines would be a good idea.

I don't think the coughing and wriggling when asleep is significant - all babies do this to some extent.

The possetting is normal.

Someone who knows what to look for should observe a feed - I would be looking to see if a deeper latch would help. I'd also be wondering if he was coping with a fast flow, and looking at ways to lessen this, with 'block feeding' (see kellymom) and leaning back...sometimes biological nurturing positions (google it) help, too. I'd be doing all of this before suggesting you change your diet (cutting out dairy is a pain, though it is worth it for the people it works for). Don't see the logic of fenugreek tea for you (it's for undersupply issues). Reflux is often suggested when people hear this sort of story, but again, it wouldn't be my first idea.

Swaddling - not sure....if your baby is happiest when held closely for much of the day and night, then there is nothing wrong and nothing special you need to do...he just needs that closeness, perhaps even more than other babies who did not have a difficult start. The fact you have found a sling to be useful makes me think he and you just need a lot of time together to reassure each other, if you know what I mean.

Hope some of this helps.

mine was just like yours at this age - bright green poo and lots of wind. block feeding turned his poo back to a bit thicker and yellow and DS loves the biological nurturing position. before the block feeding, in a paranoid moment, i started drinking alot of strong chamomile/fennel/raspberry leaf/nettle tea and i became quite engorged! this made poo and wind worse! he is much bigger now though and i drink it to keep up with him!

Hello again,

Hulla - yes I'm at the local group recommended by my health visitor. I'm very lucky actually as there's very few mums who go, so we gat a lot of time to talk to the support workers - even though they are also saying this is all normal and stick with it for a bit longer. Which isn't terrble advice I suppose, just not that helpful when I'm feeling so frustrated and upset. But thank you.

Whittywan - thankyou, what a relief to know that someone else has been through this! I keep being told it's normal by health visitors and the support workers at the BF group I go to - but no othe mum I talk to has experienced what I'm experiencing! They are very lovely at the BF support group but when I asked about oversupply weren't too sure that it could even be a problem.

Titok - thank you for all the advice, so very much appreciated. I think the fenugreek tea was confused with fennel tea - anyway, I haven't tried it. We're increasing the use of sling with both of us to try and help him feel a bit more secure as you suggest. I'll have a good read of the block feeding and see if I can get that to work.

Ruby - like Whitty, thanks for letting me know I'm not the only mum in the world with this problem!

hia.... my ds is a very big boy 10lb 11ozs at birth so is very hungry but we got the whole wriggling stressy thing..... the things i try (cos it changes dail) are swapping sides..... but not too quickly or they just get the foremilk which makes them more gassy.... gripe water half way through works a treat and alms him while i wind him ... changing position half way through..... i find he gets a better latch in rugby hold! (i have big boobs and a big baby so this is comfiest) I give him a bottle of ebm with gaviscon in midday which he takes no problem and other people can help. i sometimes put him on his tummy half way through to wind him. LLL have emailed me some fab advice too!!!

Sparkly - I didn't know that gaviscon could help with this? We tried him on it once or twice as we were initially prescribed thinking the problem was reflux. It did seem to help but we discontinued it as we realised he wasn't suffering reflux and we worried that the risk of constipstion would make things worse. Will maybe give it another go though, thanks.

everything is worth a try and sometimes going back to something that didnt work at first does second time round xx