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[sophiejoandbump]

breast feeding!? I really want to! is it really as hard as some people say?
x

I did for DD3. It is hard but not impossible in most cases. The real key I found was to really relax. The first couple of weeks are tough - you will be emotional, shattered, swinging between happy and sad, your boobs will hurt, your nips may become sore. But if you can really get into a state of mind where you almost blank out everything, it works. I tried a bit with DD1, but she was v small (prem baby) and I felt awkward and self conscious so only managed off and on 6 weeks. With DD2 I was more keen, but I kept worrying I wasn't doing it right, going to the books and trying the Gina Ford (I think) technique, switching breasts after a time limit. I fed her for 6 months, but after the first 2 months was more mixed as was giving bottles. With DD3 I realised that so long as you start on a different side each feed, you don't have to switch over. I fed her as much as she wanted on one side, let her burp, then offered the other side if she didn't want it that was fine I let her sleep.

With DD3, I was v fortunate as the birth was (relatively) easy, and I let her find the breast as I was laying there in the delivery room. She had a little feed before falling asleep. I had researched positioning beforehand, there is a great leaflet from NCt which had pictures of a baby feeding, I'd really committed that to memory as positioning is so important (if your baby is just sucking the nipple they don't properly make the milk flow and you will be incredibly sore). When I fed her at home, at first I took myself off away from anyone else (except DH who was great), to just get used to it. After a couple of weeks, when I knew what it should all be like, I practised the lift-the-t-shirt move, so by the time she was a month old I was pretty confident to feed anywhere without flashing my boobs. I ended up feeding her almost totally to 11 months. I never bothered expressing more than a few times as I didn't go out much without her, and after 6 months if I went out I left her with a carton of formula.

Give it a try - be prepared with a steriliser and a couple of formula cartons in case of emergency, but try - it's the only way you will know.

Good luck

(sorry if rambling!)

Hello! I am still breastfeeding my 16 month old - not that you have to feed for that long if you don't want to - what stories have you heard? I have heard everything from "It's easy and wonderful" to "It was hell and I hated every minute" and I have found the reality to be (predictably) somewhere in between - but for me it has been relatively smooth sailing.

What are you worried about specifically, and perhaps someone can offer experience?

Would like to just add, most difficulties tend to be at the beginning, and once established, breastfeeding is very easy for most people. It can be hard at the start but it isn't always - it wasn't for me.

The most important thing is to GET HELP sooner rather than later. It shouldn't hurt - not after the first three seconds or so. Get yourself along to a Le Leche League meeting, or make sure you have all the helpline numbers to hand and know where any breastfeeding support groups are. There is a lot of help out there, but you have to ask for it. That's where i went wrong - but after a very dodgy start with mixed feeding and tears, i am still bfing my 3yr old (i know - i didnt intend to, but theres no reason to stop if he still wants it!) and have become a peer supporter.

Hi Sophie

My advice would be to get as informed as possible about bf in advance.

it was the one area I didn't research properly prior to birth because I naively thought it would come naturally, so I wasn't aware of some of the pitfalls and bad advice I could have avoided.

I recommend the LLLI or kellymom websites plus Dr Jack Newman's Breasfeeding Clinic and Institute for getting clued up.

HTH

I live in Lancashire and we had a breastfeeding workshop - a whole day on bf! It helped me immensely. I have successfully bf 2 babies well past what I thought I would, and it was a lot more easy and enjoyable than I thought.

See if your area does one.

Getting the latch right from the first feed as you are holding your new born straight after delivery is vital. Learn how a good latch looks and how to achieve it, before you give birth.

I have bf 3 babies. I am still bf DC at 8 mths.

I would say the first 4 weeks are the worse. Take each feed at a time and get help if it hurts.

I would have to disagree about having bottles etc ready just in case. Don't have any in the house, nor formula. That way you won't be tempted when it is hard to give ff. And there is usually a 24 hour shop open somewhere if it gets really bad!

Having said that once the first few weeks are over and the bf is established it is very easy and convenient. I am far too lazy to bottle feed, all that work!

With BF you have a good excuse to sit down and watch tv/read a book/phone a friend every few hours. Plus if you go out you can stay out if the opportunity arises without having to worry about having enogh bottles with you. If you go on holiday you don't have loads of feeding stuff to carry with you. What could be better.

But I do recommend educating yourself prior to the birth. Sign up for a course or read some good books.

Like everything in life, there will always be someone who will tell you it's impossibly difficult!

Breastfeeding is normal and natural but it is a skill that you (and your baby) have to learn. That needs practice and perseverance, and it may be uncomfortable for the first while, but there is a vast amount of help and support out there for mums who want to breastfeed. Unfortunately there's also a lot of rubbish information and sadly health professionals aren't always as clued up on breastfeeding as you might expect, so it's important to get help from a reliable source.

This booklet (download by clicking this link) is really great

Links to some helpful organisations here

As the midwife said to me before my baby was born "If you're determined to do it, you will". It's not always plain sailing but once established it's a million times easier than making up bottles and carting kit around with you everywhere, and nothing beats the feeling of looking at your chubby, happy baby and knowing it's all your own work! All the best

I didn't find it difficult, I had to re-latch DD a few times in the beginning but she soon got the hang of it. I agree with everyone else that you should learn as much as you can and get help early on if you do have any problems.

I agree with cece about not having bottles in the house. IMO, once you start replacing breast feeds with bottle then you start to affect your own supply. Remember it's all about supply and demand- the more you feed, the more milk you'll have.
Yes. it's exhausting, yes it can be toe curlingly painful but it's very rewarding and it does get better and easier.
If you do want to breastfeed, you'll need to be determined (assuming you do have problems of course- not everyone does!) and as everyone has said here, - be prepared!!
I think that us Mums focus so much on the birth, that we sometimes forget what comes after. There is a lot of help out there, just don't be shy in asking for it.
One last piece of great advice my midwife gave me was to "throw away the clock" when feeding. If it's 1am,2am,or 3am, it doesn't really matter- just enjoy your baby.
Let us know how you get on won't you.

Thanks everyone, am really worried about it. The thing is I would really like my partner to be able to feed my little one aswell....and people keep telling me that if he has a bottle he wont go back to breast, and its confusing me :s co I am sure people do that all the time.
x

PLease read the Food of Love by Kate Evans. After telling her to p%%% off on here (I think) I have just read it and it's fantastic!

sophiejo, my partner wanted to be really hands on from the start, and wanted full involvement with our little one. Some might say that FF is better because then he can have a turn to feed but we found that DP tended to do the nappies and a lot of the bathing. By 16 weeks of age the HV was commenting on what a great relationship DS had with his dad already! They are still extremely close now, with DS sometimes asking for his daddy when he's ill - he's 2 and a half.

There are so many ways to bond with a baby, and feeding is a big part of it, undeniably, but for us it just meant that DP developed his own wee rituals with DS.

Well, it is possible to give an occasional bottle and it not affect bf, or introduce a regular bottle say once a day, but you do have to be careful about it, because breastfeeding works on a supply and demand basis.

I got DS' dad to do all the baths, which he loved, and it was something special he did with DS which I didn't join in with (I would sometimes sit at the side of the bath and/or be there with the towel to take him out as they used to get in together)

If it's more the thought of doing all the night feeds etc on your own which is bothering you, have you thought about co-sleeping or getting a sidecar cot? I found this really helped me get a lot more rest.

I'm currently EBF my DS, who is 6 months tomorrow. I never had problems with cracked nipples or the horrible things you hear about at the start, but I did slather on Lasinoh from the start and I was in hospital for a week after a CS so I got loads of help. Someone watched me feed for pretty much the first few days: the latch needed correcting, he wouldn't suck and I had to hand express for a bit into a syringe until a stern midwife sorted him out and when my milk came in he had problems latching on again so I had more help expressing a bit off and then getting him on. After the first 4 days it's been pretty easy, to be honest.

My advice would be to get loads of help at the start - ask for people to watch you feed even if you think you're doing it right. And have the mindset 'I'm going to breastfeed' rather than 'I'm going to try to breastfeed'. With the first, any problems need sorting so that you can continue breastfeeding. With the second it would always be in your mind 'Is this the bit where I reach for formula?'.

After about 6 weeks and breastfeeding is established, you can try expressing so your DP can give a bottle. I never bothered. TBH expressing seems like a right faff, as does FF.

Yeah expressing is a faff. You spend ages sitting there pumping, then there's the sterilising, just so you can give someone else a bottle to feed them with. I know the idea is that you get to sleep while the baby takes the bottle but you might as well do that in the day instead of pumping and feed lying down at night if you can. well, that's my two penny worth anyway!

SAB, I wouldn't bother letting your partner feed your LO. It really is too much of a faff. If he wants to be involved with the baby he can do bathtime, while you relax. He can also support you by bringing cups of tea, drinks of water and snacks.

If you want to give bfing a try, then I'd recommend going along to local support groups before the baby is born. La Leche League, NCT, Baby Cafes and Children's Centres usually run local groups.

Find out who your local bfing counsellors are before you have the baby and pack the numbers in your hospital bag.

If you have a problem, get in touch with a bfing counsellor straight away, don't let things get worse.

Don't buy in formula or bottles. Research shows that you are more likely to give up bfing if you have formula in the house.

Relax and enjoy it. I've never had so much as a sore nipple. Not everyone has problems.

The odd bottle after feeding is well established won't confuse, but i second what others on here have said - he doesn't have to feed you baby to be involved, let him have cuddles, do bathtime, have some playtime together without you as your baby gets bigger - for instance a bit of one on one playtime while you have a bath or read or something.

I don't think you should discount the idea of having an emergency bottle, but it depends on how motivated you are. I had one carton and a bottle, and was determined not to use the carton. Definitely do not get a tin of formula as once that's opened it needs to be used in a month, I think. If you only have one carton, you will think twice as once it's used it's gone. I personally liked to know there was always a back up just in case, but felt proud that I didn't use it.