Feel bad bad bad about giving DD formula

[jujubean]

I BF DD1 no probs until she was 1, odd bottle of formula before she was 6 months but she didn't have it regularly until after that age.
Feeding DD2 (14wks) has been a complete nightmare from beginning. Bleeding nips, awful colic, fast flow and biting me with gums to slow it, damaged nipple leading to expressing for a week off that breast so it could heal leading to a very hungry baby. Still have a very uncomfortable time feeding off right breast but is bearable if I lie down to feed. All in all hideous, pain is very exhausting. Have had help from lovely BFC's in our town but cracked when she was 12 weeks (a goal I had set myself for EBF) and started giving her a bottle of formula at 10.30pm feed.
Now she is getting hungry at bedtime and don't seem to be able to satisfy her with BF. I know exactly why, my milk is rubbish at the end of the day because I spent all day zooming around after DD1 (aged 2). Resting, ha, what's that? Going to try and have a day in bed on Sunday but is so hard to do stuff to boost milk with a toddler around.
Starting to think I should give her a bottle at 7pm as well but just feel awful about it, have always been such an advocate of BF but at the moment can't see the wood from the trees.
Just need a bit of moral support, my mum who normally provides me with words of wisdom is away for a few weeks on the other side of the world.

juju - don't be hard on yourself - you are doing the best you can both for yourself and your dd2. You are doing fabulously to have carried on this far. Not that many people get to 12 weeks ebf. And you're still feeing her the majority of her milk.

Hopefully tiktok or someone else will be around soon and might be able to give you some tips on boosting supply - but getting much needed rest is clearly a problem with your 2yodd.

Don't feel bad - feel proud that you have got as far as you have (and are clearly going to continue at least for sometime), particularly with all the crack issues (I know what its like - my rhs too!)

well firstly you're doing a grand job, and a bit of formula isn't going to hurt her.

the more you introduce however, the less milk you will make, so beware that it can become a slippery slope.

tearing around all day won't make your milk supply less in the evenings. trust me, I run around after 2 boisterous botys all day and still have plenty for the third come night time! lol

basically, the more you feed her the more milk you will make. so if you want to cut the formula out then you need to breastfeed more, not add more bottles in.

at 14 weeks she could be entering the 4 month growth spurt, which will mean she wants feeding more frequently, and is no indication that your supply is suffering at all. you just need to follow her cues and feed her on demand.

if you are only comfy feeding lying down then i would wager that there is still a latch problem. has she been checked for tongue tie?
do you have a local la leche league group? ours is fabulous and would highly recommend them!

really though, you're doing brilliantly

Thanks, your replies have made me cry, just needed someone to tell me I'm not the worst mother ever.
Will see our BF counsellors again next week, but latch seems to be ok when they've checked previously. Think pain is down to fast flow and her clamping down to slow it.

have you tried expressing a little off to start with so that the flow isn't quite so fast when she gets to it?

Yes, and feeding lying flat on my back so that gravity is working against the flow. Neither has helped massively. The flow is improving (i.e. slowing) but I think my nipple is completely knackered from 10+ weeks of damage so still hurts.

i was told by a lactation consultant that previous damage shouldn';t hurt if your latch is good

it's bloody hard sometimes isn't it

It's been a real shock to have so many probs when I feeding my first was a breeze. I was a little about people who gave up BF before but now I completely understand. I've had so much help from the BFC's as well because they are friend's of mine so god knows how people manage with no one to help.

yeah i know what you mean. I was gutted when i gave up with my first, and that made me even more determined to get it all right with my next 2, which, thankfully I did, but only with the right support.

makes me cross when i think of so many women who want to do this, but can't because they are given stupid advice by health visitors, or well meaning friends/family and stuff like that.

I'm sure your milk is not rubbish - running round all day really can't do that, don't worry! I don't know if you remember from feeding your first, but all that late-night repeated switching between breasts that seem to be 'empty' is actually the best stimulus for more milk to be made, even if it takes a few days for your supply to catch up. If every time that started to happen you gave formula instead then your supply would actually reduce. So from the point of view of supply (pain is a separate one), formula really won't help. Like thisisyesterday says, the best way to boost milk is to feed more - please don't feel like there must be something wrong if you're having to switch breasts every five minutes late at night, that really can be normal at times (annoying as it is). You are doing really really well and I know how awful it is when it hurts so much - I agree it could still be worth going to a group or clinic and getting the latch checked again.

I never knew about the switching breasts thing, I just thought it was because they were empty. Thanks. Will get my latched checked again.

Some info about milk production

Near the end is a bit on how to increase milk supply.