16 weeks and really struggling, what's going on?

[beanstalk]

My HV and GP have suggested/agreed that DD2 has reflux after I saw them 3 weeks ago. We've been trying gaviscon but not having much success, mainly down to difficulty administering it. So the GP is seeking paediatric advice on the next step but has mentioned other medication or early weaning. Obviously I am not keen on either option.

The main problem is frequent feeding - every 2-3 hours throughout the day and 3 hours at night, occasionally 4 hours. I think she is often not taking a full feed and so is left hungry. Frequently she pulls off crying, although at night she feeds quite happily and goes back to sleep. She is often sick, immediately after feeding and sometimes an hour or two later usually when sitting up. She has always been quite windy and hiccupy. Her weight has dropped from the 91st to the 50th centile but she is now maintaining that curve so not too concerned about her weight.

Does this sound consistent with reflux? After reading another thread I am wondering about other options. I think I have quite a fast let down, which caused some problems when I fed DD1 but I hadn't up until now considered was affecting DD2.

I am desperately tired feeding so frequently for 4 months now and a toddler to look after as well. Any suggestions on what I can do?

at 16 weeks her feeding pattern is absolutely normal! every 2-3 hours is normal, and 3-4 hours at night is GOOD!!

some babies are sick a lot, it doesn't necessarily indicate reflux unless she has other symptoms/is clearly unhappy/is losing lots of weight.

my babies have tended to be a bit sick after feeding, and quite often between feeds too. none of them have reflux

bear in mind this is prime time for growth spurt too, which could also account for lots of feeding.

Thanks for replying. Is it really normal to feed 8-10 times a day still at nearly 4 months? Dd1 was feeding far less but gaining more weight at this age, which is why I feel it seems a lot. I think she is not feeding happily though, as I said she pulls off crying a lot. I hear what you're saying about growth spurt but it has been like this since birth really, I don't think she has ever seemed content with a feed - except at night. So I guess even if the frequency is normal I still feel something is not as it should be?

Beanstalk my ds is a few weeks younger - 13 weeks - than yours but still feeds every 2 hours in the day. He does go for 6 - 7 hours at night but what you describe doesn't sound unusua (ds1 and ds2 fed every 2 hours by day and 4 at night until 6 months!).

The not being content is obviously another matter though.

Beanstalk, it may not be what you want to hear but my dd is 25 weeks and still feeds every 2 hours during the day and every 3 or so at night; I think it is normal.She does have reflux, was on gaviscon by 4 weeks and moved to domperidone at 7 weeks. The gaviscon was a pain as bf, and while it stopped the vomiting, it didnt stop the discomfort. SHe is now much happier but his could also be because she is is upright a lot more now she can sit.

I would push to try other meds - i didnt really want to give anything either but i knew from DD1 what reflux is like and it has made both of us happier.

good luck.

I started a thread this week about DD's feeding as she wakes every 3 hours at night to feed

she is 17 weeks

she does sound refluxy ... but she doesn't sound too severe (unless she is very miserable with it?)

DS (DC1 had silent reflux and was really bad with it and needed meds)

Thank you all for your replies. It seems the consensus is that her feeding is normal, not frequent, which leaves me wondering how anyone manages to bf a second baby as I feel exhausted. Is this how everyone feels? I am not sure I can keep this up, am considering switching to formula . I know that won't affect her sleep but at least dh can help out more. The whole issue is really getting me down.

Your post mirrors mine completely!! DD2 feeds very differently to DD1, who by 4 months was having both breasts at each feed, feeding less frequently and sleeping through from 11pm to 7am. Both are/were good at posseting after and between feeds, the perils of a liquid diet!
DD1 is in reception but I totally agree that tiredness 2nd time round is worse. No lie ins while DH goes to work, I have to get up for the school run!
The day will come when they will sleep through, and its not too long until weaning can begin (ray of hope emoticon)

Can you express and then DH can give EBM.

I always co-slept with mine so I didn't have to get up in the night and do feeds, kept me sane-ish with DC's 2&3 definatly. You can also get cots that are open sided to your side of the bed.

As the others have said that feeding pattern is perfectly normal.

With my first we had about 4 months of DC1 feeding for an hour, winding for an hour, feeding, winding etc. DH used to take over the winding when he came home so I could nap for an hour.

beanstalk, it is hard, especially the first few months.
my second fed almost hourly form birth til he was around 9 or 10 months old. the longest i ever had between feeds in that time was 4 hours!!!!

I think breastfeeding is sometimes short-term pain for long-term gain though,
it IS stressful to start with, you do get sleep deprived, you do seem to do nothing else but sit and feed.
But as someone who switched to formula with her first I can honestly tell you that in the long run breastfeeding is soooooooo much easier.
no faffing around making up bottles while baby screams, no having to go home because you've run out of bottles/milk, being able to say "yeah, we'd love to stay for tea"- because you have everything you need right there, being able to fix almost any upset your child has... you know all the great things about it already!

it does get better though, even those frequent feeders calm down at some point (most before 9 months, don't fret!). We found a sling helped hugely (a moby), getting friends and family to help out with ds1, getting DP to help out more evenings and mornings so i could go to bed/lie in and get a bit extra sleep.

I also believe that health-wise breastmilk is especially good for a reflux-y baby as it's easier to digest. Some babies with reflux drink a lot because it soothes them while they are drinking, so perhaps with medication she'd be happier and want the breast less?

my ds is 19 weeks and has been feeding every 2 hours ish during day and three at night - one or two nights he cluster fed every hour and a half all evening - it was bananas! i am well tired! but last night he randomly slept 6 till 3, and i was like oah finally - after eating for the past 6 weeks it seems! i wonder what he will do tonight! i just want more than 4 hours sleep in a row. beanstalk it will get better, i'm sure .

he has also been sick quite a lot today too and has always spit up quite a bit - i thought he just had drunk too much milk - he doesn't seem bothered. he is sometimes fussy at the boob so i try again later, or swap to the other one . i think it is just what babies of this age do. my mum assures me that it won't last forever and to just enjoy my little chunky monkey !

oh, I was thinking today how I wouldn't be able to lounge about in bed during the day so much so I don't know how you survive - good effort!

FWIW la leche league seem to be particularly good at helping mums with coping with the demands of BF a new baby when there is a toddler/many other children around...the founders all BF a vast number of babies. Could you go along to a local meeting for support or if not call them up?

Thank you for all being so kind, I was obviously spoilt with DD1 and have somewhat unrealistic expectations for a 4 month old! I think that yes her reflux is not severe and should be easily helped so that just leaves me trying to find coping strategies for the tiredness. Dh works very long hours so I am on my own from when the dc's get up until they go to bed which doesn't help. Fingers crossed that weaning in 2 months time helps!

I was having a conversation about this today - I'd heard of a childminder that was complaining about a child of 4mo having 2hourly feeds, and it reminded me of DS - he was still having 7 full 9oz bottle a day at 10mo!

At 3-4mo he was still 2-3 hourly on feeds - he drank SO much milk! It was obviously what he needed, but my NCT group were constantly expressing amazement at how much milk he got through. Thankfully I had a close friend in the same situation. Her DS was very sicky, but didn't have reflux, he just wanted constant feeing.

don't know if you've tried any anti-colic things (can't remember the names of them) but might be worth a go? jsut helps get the air up.