Giving up BF at 3mths?? - tiredness making me insane!

[Tigerlily1]

I think I am going to have to stop breastfeeding. My DS2 is going to be 12 weeks old this weekend and he is excl bf. I am getting to the point where I am getting irate very quickly with my 3yr old DS1 who is just being a normal 3yr old, only just 3 and is boisterous and hard to keep under control. I have gone mad at him today in a shop and almost hit him because he wouldn't stop running about. He is suffering because I am so tired from breastfeeding a rather large baby who has been suffering with reflux and a terrible cold. We have all got lingering coughs and colds and I just feel generally shite all the time.
Is there any chance I can introduce mixed feeding in order to get a little break from breastfeeding and maybe a longer stretch of sleep at night.
DS2 is also sleeping with me and is very much a full time job at the minute and DP is relegated to the spare room.
I just feel like if I give up now life would be able to be more structured and I would be able to give DS1 a bit more time, like I did before.
I've given him a good start haven't I, 3mths is better than most of my friends have done. I did 6 with DS1 but obviously could sleep in the day and stuff with him.
Am I being a wuss?? Advice welcome!

you need to do what is best for you in your situation, only you know what that is.

bf with an older child can be tough - my dd was 2 when my ds was born. we watched a LOT of telly in the early days, and I felt guilty that I wasn't giving her all the attention she was used to.

bf my ds was something i wanted to do - i rationalised it by thinking that this was only a short period of time in my dd's life, and we would do whatever we needed to to get by. i gave myself permission to not be 'supermum'.

my ds is now 8 moths old, and bf has gotten much easier. feed are quick and less frequent than at 3 months, when it often took 40 minutes and were every hour and a half to 2 hours.

basically what i am saying is that you aren't being a wuss, it can be tough, but there are things you can do to make it easier on yourself. you have done really well to get to 3 months, you should be proud of this.

i have never mix fed though, so can't advise about its viability as an option for you, hopefully someone else can help here.

hth

also i can leave him with dh for a few hours and spend time with just dd - we went to see toy story 2 at the weekend, just her and i, it was her first time at the cinema and it was fantastic - it felt like 'the old days', just her and i.

i think a big part of this is just the adjustment from one to two children - i felt like however good i was at mothering, whwen my ds was born i became half as good, iyswim.

you aren't going to be able to give your older child the same amount of attention really no matter how you feed the baby.

thanks chibi. it is definitely so much harder with 2 and i do feel like i'm failing. i just don't want to be so moody, tired and irritable with ds1, he's only being a boy. i have no patience and am snapping all the time.
maybe i could do a night time bottle. i also need to get to bed earlier, that might help.

I think you have done really well to get to 12 weeks. And you've had colds, reflux etc etc.

Do you express milk? DH could then bottle feed with that. (An electric pump is a bit grim, but fantastic for expressing IMHO).

Or, yeah, if you think the time is right to mixed feed, go for it. I did from about this age with DD2 and it worked really well, just one formula bottle per day, gave me sanity space.

Anyway, whatever you decide, you're doing great!

thanks beaky. so how much formula and when did u do it with your dd2? i really feel like i need to do it for the peace and just so my ds1 can get his mum back a bit! i feel like i'm neglecting him and i don't want his whole life to be me shouting at him cos i'm so exhausted.
how did u go about it beaky??

I think you do whatever you need to to maintain harmony and happiness in your home.ANy bf is fab no matter for however long xx

Tigerlilly - hang in there its tough when everyone is tired and illnesses really don't help !

My DD3 is 15 weeks and from early on DH has given one formula feed at about 10.30p.m, (dreamfeed) otherwise I BF and do last one at 7p.m. when I put her to bed. This means I am then free to read to other DD's and gives me some time alone with them. I did this with DD2 and it makes such a difference to me. If I am shattered then I can go straight to bed after putting other DD's to bed and still get a good few hours sleep before the first waking. The benefit to BF is not having to get up and do bottles in the night which I personally think is harder work.

You have to do whatever is right for you and gets you more sleep. Hope it gets better.

that sounds like a good idea yummum, i might just try introducing that 10.30pm bottle and see if that helps.
i do feel like i've given him a great start and would like to carry on at least partly but i don't want my ds1 to have to contend with the ogre i have become!
think i will try that bottle tonight...

Hi, sorry only just back online!

The first few bottles I use expressed milk, so that DD was only having to get used to the bottle, not a new taste as well at the same time. And she took to the bottle no trouble, phew!

After a couple of weeks I introduced formula in the bottle instead.

I can't remember exactly how much I offered in the first bottles, I think it was about 6oz. I worked out from there how much she actually needed in the bottle.

Only word of warning; even dropping the BF by that little, my periods came back with a vengence. Not something I was prepared for!!!!

Let us know how it goes?

oh no, periods!! forgot about that! my son hates bottles and dummies - he accepts no substitutes! i'm not expecting him to take kindly to it although he will take ebm in a bottle eventually. am going to get dp to try formula at 10.30 tonight...will report back...

It's really hard at that stage of exhaustion - my DS watched FAR too much TV when DD was that age and feeding all the time too.
Can something else give?
Housework?
Laundry?
If you can make other areas in your life easier, then this part won't seem so hard

Hope it goes well at 10.30pm, Tigerlily & DP!

I'd really encourage you not to give up breast feeding completely unless you really want/ have to.

Mixed feeding works fine, so long as you keep the number of breast feeds per day fairly constant so that your body knows what it is aiming for!

I am due no 3 in September and hope to mixed feed again at some point.

Have just started weaning my 15 week old ds and feel guilty as hell. He was exclusively bf which I was/am very proud of. However, in recent weeks I have been feeling increasingly fatigued, he also has reflux. He is big baby 17lbs already. Tried to do mixed feeds, he wouldn't take a bottle. Was feeling miserable and a bit trapped, when after a particularly restless night he took a bottle of formula yesterday morning.

So have been given him bottles of expressed breast milk topped up with formula since and he seems happy. Downs them very quickly. Got a feeling that if I tried to mix feeds he might refuse bottle again. I have tried to rationalise my decision because I was beginning to see breast feeding as a chore rather than enjoying it. However, am missing him and feeling very emotional.

Wish I had mixed feeds from the start. Hope you get on OK tonight.

Are you giving Gaviscon for the reflux? Have found it much easier to give it in the bottle.

Good luck Tigerlilly hope it goes well tonight!

How you doing Tigerlily?