Want to stop breastfeeding in next few months - don't know where to begin

[shirleycat1]

DS is 8 1/2 months old. We have had a great time together breastfeeding, but I don't really want to continue after a year. So I want to have some sort of plan on how to stop, but I haven't a clue what I need to do.

I don't want him to have any formula, so will go straight on to cows milk. But I don't really know what that means in practice. Currently I am feeding him 4 times a day, at 7am ish, 11am ish, 4.30pm ish and 7pm ish. How long will he still need all those feeds for?

I don't want to stop yet, but I have no idea how to do it or when to do it. Please help me formulate some sort of plan.

Thank you...

I forgot to say we are BLW and he eats loads.

Cheers...

Hi Shirley - I stopped feeding both my DC at 1 year, it was just my time to stop.
With DS he slowly dropped feeds, so he just naturally dropped the mid morning one and then the afternoon one, then he was not interested in the evening one and I gave him his last feed on the morning of his first birthday It was lovely. He was more than happy with cows milk in a beaker.
With DD it was not quite so straight forward. She always fed more than my son and at 12 months she was having 3 feeds of morning (although this one she wasn't asking for really), mid afternoon and evening. Oh and she was still waking at night! I started to give her cows milk in a bottle (she just wasn't ready for a beaker) and she was fine with that. She is now 14 months old and has a bottle of milk before bed and if she wants any in the day she has a beaker.
I know that I started thinking about weaning about the same time as you.I wanted to do it as gently as I could, so what I did was try not to encourage feeding, but never to deny it either. So maybe try a snack and drink instead of a feed? Hopefully by a year old you could be down to morning and night and then just replace one of those with a beaker of milk and then replace the last one.
Be warned though, it is quite emotional and I found it very hard knowing I wouldn't feed them again as I loved it so much, but I am glad I weaned them when I did.

my dd is 13 months - i am feeding morning and evening and she occasionally takes a beaker/bottle of cows milk in the mid afternoon. i know i've got to stop bf soon (or, rather, i think i want to), but i just cannot imagine it. she has been waking ridiculously early, and for a few months we just got up with her and went with it, but recently we've been bringing her into the bed at 4am ish and feeding, and then she will sleep until 7-8o'clock (bliss). i simply cannot imagine stoping, but i also know i'm feel trapped by it - it is so convenient, so easy, but i also know that for her development (and mine) she has to stop. this evening i tried to give her a bottle of milk (she takes cows milk, no problem) but she screamed and screamed at me and only wanted boob. right now my right boob is dreadfully sore as she has nipped it, so i can't feed off that - so i thought i'd try a bottle. i can't get over how much she screamed at me. and now i simply can't see how i will ever stop. any advice gratefully received. mrssnoops - really useful to hear your story. it is dreafully emotional, isn't it? i've been weeping all night.

Waiting girl,why stop?Seems you don't really want to and she doesn't want to. She certainly doesn't need to stop "for her development" in fact she will develop better if she is still breastfed.Continuing feeding beyond a year is easy really-with my two,gradually the feeds dropped until they were/are feeding night time and morning,it is no problem at all for me,and she gets far less bugs.

gosh hellymelly - you know, i hadn't really considered that. shall think on't. am also looking at la leche league's website. maybe i don't really, and am feeling pressure from others to stop. who knows? thank you for even suggesting it.

Thanks mrssnoops. That's really helpful.

I don't want to stop yet, but just to have a bit of a plan to make it as gentle and kind as possible for both of us. He still seems pretty interested in all the feeds at the moment, although if I have had a drink the night before, he will take his morning feed of expressed milk, no problems, but then isn't interested in a bottle at 11am and is fine without it.

I am going back to work in April and he will be nearly 11 months then, so hopefully I will have it down to morning and night.

There's so much information on how to start brestfeeding, but none on how to stop. I am always being told that food is just a supplement to milk in the first year, so I was worried about giving up breastfeeding and then DS not getting enough nutition. I don't really understand how much he actually needs. I have always been led by him with feeding and routine and stuff, but he never really asks for a feed, I just do it because that's what we always do. But he always accepts it so I just figured he wants/needs it. Confused...!

Hello. I have just stopped feeding my DD who turned 15 months this week. I fed her longer than I had planned to as she won't drink formula or cow's milk and I was worried about how she would cope without milk. I have really enjoyed feeding her but as I am pregnant again, I found it was becoming quite tiring, and for me, I couldn't imagine trying to feed a toddler and a newborn. Once she was weaned and eating a good varied diet, I encouraged her to feed morning and night and drink water throughout the day. I then dropped the morning feed and she went straight to breakfast and a drink. As I was only feeding her on a night she seemed to naturally start to feed less and it was more for comfort. Eventually I bit the bullet and my husband put her to bed without a feed and no fuss. This was just over a week ago and although I am sad that this phase is over I am proud that I fed her for 15 months. As for her nutritional requirements, she eats everything and has plenty of dairy in her diet even if she won't drink milk! I am hoping that this may change. Good luck.x

My boys dropped there 11am feed themselves at about 8 mths. they wanted a snack instead. Then they were cutting down the bedtime feed! Didn't want that so dropped the afternoon feed by 11 mths. They then fed at bedtime much better again. Then once past 1 we substituted the morning feed with cows milk. Eventually, one of them self weaned the night feed, which i was really sad about as would have liked to keep that going for a while more. hey-ho! We didnt' last much longer!

Hi Shirleycat1

Know what you mean about there being lots of info re starting bfing and none about how to stop, other than the old 'drop one at a time' thing.

My ds is 14months old and down to morning and night feeds (plus still waking at night :-(). They seem to be so essential to him (plus the morning feed is the only way to keep him in bed past 4am) that I am nowhere near stopping.

I agree with hellymelly that bfing til 2 is the ideal - a recent ear infection made me v glad to still be bfing as it was all ds could swallow for a week - but sometimes we all need to make compromises. Personally, I would be happier with morning and night feeds for a while longer, for example, if ds would stop waking in the night (but it's so variable that I think it must be teeth - and I'd never forgive myself if it was painful and I refused a pain-relieving feed....).

Thanks everyone. I have a rough plan now for the next month or two. I think I'm going to take the "don't offer but don't refuse" approach to try and get it to morning and night, and then try and drop those.

I would keep them up for longer but I really want to have another baby soon and need fertility treatment and I've been told I mustn't be breastfeeding for that. I'm really proud of myself that I'll have done it for a year.

Thanks for all your contributions.

Just another quick question, when did you all get down to just the two feeds, morning and night. I don't want to do it too soon when he still needs milk. I was thinking to aim for 10 months. Does this sound reasonable?

shirleycat - I am in the same situation as you - having to give up b/f to try and have another baby through fertility treatment. My DS has just turned one and is addicted to boob, hence we are only just down to bedtime and morning feed.

I just don't know how I'm ever going to drop these feeds though. He's never, ever taken a bottle and although he will drink out of a cup or beaker, he thinks it's a game and gets very excited (rather than relaxed/sleepy). Added to all that, he's a terrible sleeper and usually wakes at between 4 and 5, has a feed in our bed, sleeps until about 6 then has his proper morning feed.

I don't know which feed to drop next - he's never been to sleep without boob so that would be a difficult one. But then morning boob gets us an extra hour or so in bed and I can't cope with starting the day at 4!

Am feeling very confused and upset by it, as well as guilty. If I didn't have to do this, I would wait at least another 6 months and see where we were.

Does anyone have any words of wisdom?

(sorry for thread hijack!)

Hey mouse,

No worries. It's hard isn't it, when really you'd like to carry on for a few more months, but really want to start trying for a baby. I think after a year my priority will be to get the IVF moving. I am lucky that ds sleeps through, but that took quite a bit of effort, he was waking every 2 hours or less until just over a month ago. And I really wanted to take a gentle approach to helping him to sleep through, but we got there eventually. Have you tried 'wake to sleep'? DS always used to wake up at 10.30 and it worked for us, but I guess getting up at 3/3.30am to do it might be a bit of a nightmare. How old was your ds when you dropped day time feeds?

Hi cat!

We managed to drop the 11am feed quite easily at about 10 months I think. I tried to distract him with a drink and snack but let him have it if the alternative was total melt down, but we managed to drop it in about a week.

The 3pm one was a lot harder, partly due to a series of colds and bugs and me getting mastitis (after a year of problem free feeding! ). We only managed to drop this 3 days ago - a week after he turned 1!

I was sort of burying my head in the sand and hoping that he would miraculously go off boob when he got to 1 - so I think it's good you've got a plan and I'm going to have a real battle on my hands.

Thanks for the sleep suggestion - yes, we've tried wake to sleep but no luck. We've pretty much tried everything to no avail (he's hard core!). He's so much better than he used to be though (but I can't help thinking he would have done that regardless of all our efforts!).

Best of luck with your next IVF .