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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

BF 6 weeks and feel guilty for considering stopping! help!

14 replies

lullahbelle · 30/01/2010 14:18

I've been bfing DD for 6 weeks and starting to really hate it. sounds awful but i'm finding it hard. DD wants to be on breast all the time and its getting me down. i do express and she takes it out of bottle no probs but expressing has become hard. i feel like i can't socialise or go out anywhere sometimes as i don't feel comfortable bfing in public. She has had the odd formula feed and seems ok with this when i have left her with someone. i think i just want my boobs back! And leaking nipples is no fun. I thought if i could do just 2 more weeks this would be ok- Is 2 months a poor attempt?

I think i just need someone to tell me i'm not a bad mother!

OP posts:

Picante · 30/01/2010 14:20

You're not a bad mother!

Well done for getting this far. Believe me I know how hard it can be. Will she take a dummy?

Original poster

lullahbelle · 30/01/2010 14:25

She will take a dummy, but usually from someone else! i think she thinks she should have boob if i'm around. she has found her thumb also which i am trying to get her out of.

OP posts:

ruddynorah · 30/01/2010 14:27

it's ok if they find their thumb. it's how they self soothe

Original poster

lullahbelle · 30/01/2010 14:32

u see my mum has said that "u can take away a dummy but not a thumb" which i can understand as if they can't give it up when older can be very unhygenic!

i just dont know what to do- feels like such an important decision re bfing...........

OP posts:

Dominique07 · 30/01/2010 14:36

You can try mixing FF with BFing if it makes life easier. If you get your life back a bit, then in a month or so maybe you'd stop buying Formula milk and just BF once every 4 hrs or so? Try giving night feeds and morning feeds for a while and take a scarf/pashmina out and FF so you've got a choice of what to do when out and about.

reebobbage · 30/01/2010 14:41

You are not a bad mother! Sounds like maybe she is having a growth spurt and this is getting you down... It will pass! When I was BF I used to go week by week and was always saying, well I'll give it another x amount. It is hard work for some unlucky folk (like me) It has its advantages and disadvantages, but ultimately what makes you happy will make baby happy too.
WELL DONE for getting this far! 6 weeks is an achievement in itself, please dont beat yourself up.

Misspaella · 30/01/2010 15:38

You are definitely NOT a bad mother. BF can be hard and during the first few months it seems like all we are doing is feeding, feeding and feeding. It DOES get better.

Why don't you just take it one day at a time. Don't set any goals and if you are tired of expressing on top of the usual bf give a formula feed (but not many, it will affect supply). Sounds like you need a rest.

But I have to say that sticking at it, is worth. I have never managed to get passed 19 weeks BUT with my 3rd DC (he is now 30 weeks) I am still BF and it is so easy. He feeds every few hours for about 15min. It takes the same amount of time to feed him a bottle of expressed milk as it does to feed him direct. That's been going on since about 20 weeks. I wish I had know that with my last 2 before I called it quits.

As for bf in public, again that really does improve. I used to dread it but from 12 weeks it just clicked.

Hope you get through this ok.

Dominique07 · 30/01/2010 15:57

I fully support BFing, just wanted to say, don't stress too much about being perfect, and exclusive BF. Its a lot of pressure thats why I mentioned using powder milk for a while, but it doesn't mean you wont be able to get your supply up in the future. Also, is there any particular person you can go out with who you would feel confident BFing in front of? You could try going out with them to 'practise' and gain confidence.
I usually did it under a scarf or blanket - easier with a 6 week old than a 6 month old or a 16 month old. Unless you are a breast feeding mother you mostly do not notice breast feeding when done discretely.

popspig · 30/01/2010 16:45

I could've written your post a few weeks ago. i felt i was going crazy being stuck in the house with DD permanently attached to me. But I stuck with it and now DD is 13 weeks and it is much easier. I never believed it when people said it but tis true!

At first I was able to get out more by timing it around her feeds - so going out when she was due for a long nap. DD also feds much more quickly now - 20 or 30 minutes compared to an hour and a half. The first time I bf in public my MIL was with me and was really supportive, which made me feel so much better and gave me the confidence to carry on.

Every time I was thinking about stopping something happened which encouraged me to carry on - more often than not something I read on here . I started by setting a target of 2 weeks, then 6 weeks (which is time said to properly establish bf) and then 13 weeks (as this is supposed to protect baby from gastroenteritis and ear infections for a year) and now I'm aiming for 6 months.

You've done brilliantly bfing for 6 weeks and the hardest part is over - so don't feel guilty if you do decide to stop.

mum2JRC · 30/01/2010 19:12

Well done at getting to 6 weeks. Lots of growth spurts around this time so hence you feel your attached to your baby 24/7.
Agree with previous posts at taking it one day at a time. Do not feel bad if you give her formula.
have you tried going to a breast feeding cafe? You will meet other BF mums and it might make you more comfortable feeding in public. Initially when out in public I would find a very quiet place to feed. Back of a cafe, quiet bench in the park and then as my son needed less help my confidence improved. I always found wearing a cardigan helped as it would cover up that side of my body!

StephN1 · 31/01/2010 19:19

I would recommend a bebe au lait feeding cover up - it's ace. I feed when out and about

Original poster

lullahbelle · 31/01/2010 22:15

Thanks guys! feeling alot better now and she has been a bit better- been trying to make her feed for longer which has helped, think i was having a particularly bad day..... i think i will take each day as it comes and see how far i get!!!

OP posts:

Pannacotta · 31/01/2010 22:20

A cover up/loose cardi/shawl is a good idea, as suggested, if you feel shy about feeding in public.
I used to find a peaceful place to tuck myself away until I felt more comfortable feeding in public.

It is hard in the early weeks but it gets so much easier as they get older...

HaveToWearHeels · 31/01/2010 22:41

*lullahbelle8 well done you for getting to 6 weeks and your post sounds exactley how I felt when DD was 6 weeks. If she had taken formula I would have gladly given up. Unfortunatley I pushed a formula bottle on her once too often and she ended up not only refusing formula but refusing a bottle completely.

However this situation forced my hand to continue breastfeeding and boy did it get so much easier from about 8 weeks. Feeds got further apart, DD got quicker. She also got better at latching so I took the oppertunity one day to feed in public and from that day forward I haven't looked back.

I find wearing a loose fitting T-shirt with a long waterfall cardigan over the top the easiest. You can pull the top up and the cardigan covers you up round the sides. In fact on saturday we popped into our local for a drink and I was feeding DD, the landlady came over to chat to me and it was a good 5 minutes before she realised I was bf. She just though DD was asleep.

Your boobs may also become less leeky, mine did. As DD settled into a more regular pattern of feeding I think my body became more streamlined rather than pumping out all the time.

Just take each day as it comes and see how you get on. Good luck.

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