Did you regret weaning your toddler?

[glimmer]

I have DS 2.2 and DD 4 months. I have been tandem feeding them for the last 4 months.
DS is only feeding morning and nights at this point. Part of me is ready to wean DS. I have started to be impatient when he is nursing, thinking "I am ready to wean him altogether".
But - I know he won't nurse that much longer anyway and I wonder if I will regret it if I wean him? I have started to offer "booby before book" at night and he often doesn't want it then and does not complain when he doesn't get it later. So maybe he is ready, too? On the other side, it's the only time, when he is all snuggly and we are really close. Do I really want to give this up?
Thanks for your opinions/experiences?

Just read the poem babieseverywhere's posted.
very clever.

There is a gentle weaning method called 'don't offer, don't refuse'. When you give milk when the child requests it but don't offer milk if he forgets.

I tried it and to be honest, my DD just started asking more, but it does make it clearer how much they still need milk (or not if they are ready to wean).

If you want to talk to other tandem nursers, there are a few of us on Mumsnet or try your local LLL group for RL support.

I also found reading the following books very helpful with tips and advice.

1. Adventures in Tandem Nursing by Peggy O'Mara and Hilary Flower
2. Mothering your nursing toddler by Norma Jane Bumgarner
3. Breastfeeding Older Children by Ann Sinnott

That poem is sweet isn't it

HTH

glimmer - "I know he won't nurse that much longer anyway"
I've been thinking that for 2 years since my ds was the same age (he is now 4.3yo) and am still waiting!!!

I am due in 4 weeks and fully expect him to go milk crazy when the baby arrives.

However, along the way over the last two years, there have been many, many times where I am glad that I have had nursing at my disposal. When he's ill, when he is plain grumpy or distressed, and most recently when I broke my ankle. His whole life was turned upside down just like that. I went out for a walk (bye ds, see you in a wee while, kiss), then he was told a while later (by my sis who was watching him) that I had to go to hospital and would be away all night. This was our first separation and we were then apart for a further three nights when I had to go back for surgery. Since then he has been shunted round relatives an awful lot, and home life hasn't been normal for him at all and won't be for weeks. He has taken great comfort in nursing and I am so glad that I didn't wean him.

I guess the thing about tandem feeding is that you could give it a go, and if he really seems to be struggling with it in the coming days/weeks/months then you will still have a milk supply for him to come back to.

I tandem fed until mine were 2.6 and 6 months. At this point DD1 and I had a chat about whether she still wanted booby or if we could perhaps let her sister have it all now. I explained she didn't have to agree and she could continue if she wanted but she seemed receptive to the idea.

So that day was her last. And she never asked after that which was a surprise but also allowed me to feel very comfortable that the time was right and I wasn't taking something away from her.

Not sure that was much help. I guess what i'm saying is I think you will both instinctively know when the right time arrives as I had felt inclined to stop on a number of ocassions before but always had reservations.

I tandem fed for 2 months and got to a point where i was almost resenting feeding ds1 . I started to also feel really guilty, worried that ds1 could sense that i was unhappy still feeding him, so I did the 'don't offer', 'don't refuse' technique. He didn't ask for milk again and to be honest it was the right time for me, I didn't feel sad about it stopping etc. I have no idea why i felt like this as i'd always wanted to bf for 2 yrs and ds1 was 17months when he never asked again. i really admire women that can feed for longer . Most importantly don't rush your decision, and do what you feel is right for you and your dc

Thank you very much for sharing your advice and experiences. I will continue for a week and think about it some more.