should I top up my 6-week-old?

[UserNameAngst]

I am feeling quite confused and upset so any advice gratefully received!

My DS is 6 weeks tomorrow and I have been exc bfing him. It was all going well to start with and he's put on lots of weight. About 3 weeks ago, probably because he had a growth spurt, he started feeding non-stop, and I realised that he was hardly sleeping in the day, and perhaps I had been misinterpreting his sleep cues as feed cues. Since then I have been trying to get him to nap more in the day, with limited success and a lot of screaming. I posted about this here and got some really helpful advice.

However, I saw my HV yesterday and she thinks he might be not sleeping and screaming a lot because he is hungry and this does sound like it might make sense, particularly as he might be having another growth spurt. He always seems hungry anyway, and for the last few weeks he has finished each feed seeming agitated, clawing at the breast or his face and usually "snapping" off or bobbing on and off.

The HV said I should top him up with expressed milk or formula; more because I looked at my wits' end rather than she was concerned for his health I think. I don't want to give him formula and although I did plan to express I didn't plan to start yet.

Today I thought I would just focus on building my supply. In the last 3 hours he's had the left, right, then a change, left, right then got dressed and left, right again, and I've put him down to sleep, which he is resisting (he's lying queitly wide awake in his cot now). Is this the right thing to do? Is it really true that I can create enough milk for him if he nurses enough?

TBH the thought that my baby is overtired, hungry and unhappy is making me feel very . Any advice or support would be great. Thank you!

It is completely true that you can make enough milk for him, as long as he has free, unrestricted access to the breast. Have you tried co-sleeping? Having a babymoon (cancelling other plans and spending a few days in a dressing gown, feeding him loads)? Wearing him in a sling in the daytime - my baby sleeps unless he wants a feed, in the sling (I use a moby)?

Assuming he is pooing and weeing lots and still gaining weight then I think you need to chalk this down to the infamous 6 weeks growth spurt.

Someone who knows more will be along shortly - you sound like you're so comitted to bf, and well done.

UserName, sorry to hear about this and it's no wonder you are in a quandry

I have read your post and I can't understand why your HV is presenting the only option as topping up....to me, your description of your baby is consistent with a baby of this age who wants to be close to mum, not a hungry baby who can't get enough to eat.

I don't understand why your HV is not recognising this, to be honest. We want babies to be securely attached, emotionally, to their mothers. It is normal, and lays the foundations of emotional well-being, self-esteem and trust and confidence in their world. Babies cannot express this need in words, so they do it the only way they know how - resisting being put somewhere to sleep. You describe a baby screaming when this happens - that's pretty clear to me

If he sleeps or dozes when being held next to you, even if these are short sleeps, and does not want to sleep in a crib without you, then it sounds to me that this normal developmental need is being expressed, rather than hunger all the time (the fact he has gained weight very well rather undermines the hunger thing, too). Babies feed for comfort and closeness, and adjust their intake very well, so they dont overfeed, and just take small volumes even if they are actively sucking and swallowing.

Working out how to meet these normal needs for comfort and closeness, and have a shower/meal/loo visit can be a challenge, but it can work out

this is purely personal - i am not an expert - but if you do decide to to up then it isnt the end of the world. After six weeks i gave my babies formula at the end of the day when I was tired. It did not stop my milk and I fed them both until ten months. Please do whatever is right for you and baby.

Had he gained weight when you saw the health visitor yesterday? babies do cry for all sorts of reasons and if he is still gaining weight then perhaps that's not the answer. I always found HVs would resort to 'topping up' as a cure all for everything (only my experience and am sure there are good HVs out there). This may not be the case here and you know your baby but if he is weeing and pooing fine and he is gaining weight then it might not be a quantity issue and maybe he just 'needs' to be with you right now and needs to be getting your boobs to do what he wants them to! If you want him to sleep more in the day because you think he is over tired then have you tried putting him in a sling on your front? he can then sleep snuggled up to you when the mood takes him. Mine went through all sorts of phases and one was not wanting to be left lying down and definitely not missing a beat of the action. it's a terribly tiring time, I know and I feel for you.

Totally agree with tiktok.

IME (and I have been feeding for the past 5 years, more or less) the best way to make breastfeeding work is to keep your baby close to you (day and night), feed on demand and ignore the clock. For the first few weeks I would often find myself feeding very regularly, sometimes every half an hour, often offering both sides during a feed.

Btw being agitated during a feed or bobbing on/off is often a sign of wind, do you wind him after a feed?

username - my DS would not sleep for the first 8 weeks or so of his life, preferring to feed feed feed, and then feed some more. it was exhausting, but worth it - he suddenly at 8 weeks old, slept 4 hours in a row! now, at 18 weeks (OMG where have the last 18 weeks gone?!), he feeds less often, and last night, for the first time, slept for 5 and 1/2 hours in a row!

he used to spend all day in my arms just switching sides when he got frustrated - I'd hand him to dp the minute he got home from work so i could get a drink/have a shower/go to the loo. I have a 'feeding station' set up to help - laptop, glass of water, fruit, chocolate. it still keeps me from going mental whilst feeding him! best of luck, and well done for getting through the past gruelling 6 weeks!