3 different midwifes came to see me over the past week and half and all telling me different things, ds now has no routine! help

[michelle89]

hey
ds was born on 17th jan, he was born by cesarean weighing 7lb14 and had alot of mucus, since he was born we have been feeding him every 4hours, because of the mucus he was only drinkin 10ml each time and not waking up, so we had to wake him up. the midwifes didnt seem bothered by this, in hospital we bottle fed him the ready made ones, since i came home we have been feeding him in the avent bottles, he took a while getting used to the different teat size.

when the 1st midwife came she told me to continue feeding him every 4hours. the 2nd midwife weighed him and he weighed 7lb3 so had lost weight, she told me this is normal and told me to continue feeding him every 4hours. at this time he was drinkin about 40-50ml, he was starting to wake up for his feed about 30minutes before. the 3rd midwife came round yesterday, she weighed him and he had put on half a ounze. she told me to feed him every 3hours and if he doesnt wake up to wake him up, he usually falls asleep during his feed so she told me to change him or wind him to wake him up and make sure he takes the full 90ml.

i tried this yesterday and at first he wouldnt drink much at all and we had to wake him up, after that he would wake up half an our before his feeds, he didnt take much feed before he didnt want anymore and once hes asleep hes litterlly asleep, so we had to let him sleep for about half an hour and then try again. this means bwtween feeds is only like an hour and a half.

this is takin its toll on me and dp's sleep, hes doin the night feeds and only getting a few hours sleep, i go to bed at night but when ds is crying i cant sleep. ds is off work atm but is going back this week.

the midwife told us to feed ds every 4hours during the night but hes wakin up after 1h30 crying so had to feed him every 3hours at night aswell.

we have gone back to every 4hours as we cant keep going without sleep, we are up 22hours aday. ds is in no routine at all, for the past week and a half he was but yday just f**ked it. monday and tuesday he started to near enough drink a full 90ml but im scared when the midwife comes back on monday that he might not have put on weight, she made me feel like im failing as a mother and negleting him, we was ment to be discharged from midwife yday, i dont want her having go at me. any advice?

Blimey - no wonder you are confused!

best thing to do in these situations is to speak to a midwife (prob on the phone) and say what's bothering you...in this case, say clearly that you have had conflicting information and advice and you don't know what it best for your baby.

I don't think anyone on this board would be able to say which bit of the advice is correct. However, it is absolutely normal for a baby, esp a young baby, to feed frequently and to need lots and lots of up-close-and-personal contact and cuddles, day and night.

Hope you get some clear answers soon.

Firstly, congratulations on the birth of your baby.

Secondly, your baby is less than 2 weeks old and the three of you are still trying to get to know each other - why is it so important to get a routine established so early?

Thirdly, feeding every 3-4 hours is perfectly normal, so as far as the lack of sleep thing goes I'm sorry, but you're just going to have adjust to getting less sleep then you want (or need).

Your baby is feeding, putting on weight and obviously sleeping quite well. Stop worrying about the routine and just enjoy getting to know your baby.

I wouldn't beat yourself up that changing the feed time has suddenly f*cked up your little one's routine. Excessive sleepiness is actually something they can do right at the beginning to conserve energy if they aren't getting enough food. It takes about a week to 10 days after being born for most little ones to stop being quite so sleepy and turn into eating machines. I'm guessing he may well have started doing this even if you hadn't altered the feed times.