Found out I'm pregnant - what are the chances of my 20 month old self weaning anytime soon?

[MsMarple]

Hi Everyone

I've just found out I'm pregnant (v early days so trying not to get TOO excited ) and am wondering what to do about weaning my 20mo DS.

Although I'm more than happy to continue BF whilst PG I'm not sure I fancy the idea of tandem feeding - BF now is akin to being mauled by a friendly lion cub so potential danger to newborn!

Am pinning my hopes on him deciding to stop by himself once the milk dries up (at about 5 months if I have understood other threads properly?) - but is this likely?

Does anyone have experience of self weaning, or advice on the best time/way to encourage him to stick to milk from a cup?

I have had a similar situation.

I was still bf my dd2 when I became pregnant with ds1.

When I got to 5mths I was vry anaemic and poorly and I felt like I had to stop.

She was 21mths. I just stopped. 'All gone'

She was fine but she did and still does like having milk from a bottle, and I blame myself that her dependence on a bottle is a subsitute for a mothers loving care.

I have just become fed up of feeding my ds, who is now 20/21 months, and have done the same.

Despite telling myself that I would let him self wean...I thought maybe he wouldn't.

It's been the same 'no sorry all gone' and he is fine about it.

I weaned my eldest dd around the same age and she was fine too.

My advice is, don't offer a bottle, and he will be fine. He has had a great start with bf and you should be proud of yourself for that.

Were you planning on letting him self wean?

Thanks goodasgold.

I'd originally hoped that he would self wean when he was ready - but the only babies I know who did that were both 15 months so wondered if I had missed the boat on that one - if anything he is more keen recently!

ds2 self weaned at 16 months when i was pg
i was gutted actually, still am, cos he wouldn't have weaned if i hadn't got pregnant. poor ds2

I think that most babies will self wean during a subsequent pregnancy- I have heard the figure of 60%, but can't find evidence to back that up at the moment. Usually in the middle trimester your milk will change back to colostrum and volume will decrease significantly.
Many babies will find that continuing to breastfeed in not worth the effort, and can be a good easy way for Mum and baby to end breastfeeding.
Some don't however, colostrum is very sweet and some determined little ones will carry on regardless- and even end up tandem feeding with a newborn as I did with my two.
Don't believe all the horror stories about tandem feeding, it can be a lovely time, and can actually make feeding a newborn a lot easier.
It's not for everyone however, and it can be emotionally draining too, so I understand your reluctance- it was not something I planned to do!
If you feel the time is right to wean I think you have a great opportunity to do so while you are pregnant- much easier on everyone than if you were not pregnant.
If you wait until your milk production starts to fall or until you notice you are only producing colostrum again, your baby will notice too, then be ready to cut the feeding short, explaining "all gone", and offering a cup instead. You can also intercept a feed, if you sit down with your baby after an active morning and know this would usually be a time he would breastfeed- then have a drink ready for him and give it to hime before the idea of a feed comes into his head.

Good luck with the pregnancy and weaning!

Congratulations
IME pregnancy made no difference at all and I am now tandem feeding an almost 3yo and a 4mo. DS is very gentle with DD, much more than he is with me!

Thanks guys - think I will see what happens around 5 months and take it from there.

You haven't 'missed the boat' as you put it. Most babies don't self-wean until they are at least 2, and anything up to around 6 is normal.

My dd fed right through pregnancy and I now tandem feed her (4 in a fortnight) and her brother (15 months).

I am 18 weeks pregnant, and ds' interest in my milk is less than dd's was at the same stage, but I have no idea whether he will wean or not.

You could try 'don't offer don't refuse' and see what happens.