really want to breast feed and express this time round, but no support from HVs round here re:expressing! HELP!

[AnAngelWithin]

Ok, so this is baby number 5. I ended up giving up BF with the others eventually as I just got so stressed about it, it affected my milk supply. I tried expressing with manual pumps, but I have tiny hands and found it really hard, and I wasn't even sure I was doing it right. The HV would just tell me off saying there was no need for me to express, but there is, and with this being number 5, DH is adament that this time he needs to do more to help to give me a break, so I really want to express so DH can do the bedtime bottle as I think it will help him bond with the baby too, he felt a bit left out when I was breastfeeding the others. So:

1. Would electric pump be better? I really can't get on with manual ones with my tiny hands!!

1. When can I start expressing?

1. When is the best time to express? From the other one while feeding the baby with the other???

Sorry, I know 5th time round I really should know, but the total lack of support round here meant I never really got to find out about things properly. I just really want to do it this time!!!

bump?

.

Hi, I am not an expert but can help a bit I hope

1. Can you hire one to try it out before spending out buying one? Our local children's centre hires them, and/or your hospital might.

1. I think advice is to wait until 6-8 weeks if at all possible as your supply is getting established and it can confuse your body. Obviously this is different for mums who express a lot of their baby's feeds from birth, so be careful with advice about this.

1. Expressing from one side while feeding from the other is a good idea as it helps the letdown reflex. Expressing early in the morning is supposed to be good too. I used to express just before a feed when I felt "fuller" as I found it easier to trigger letdown.

My XP always said he felt left out by breastfeeding too, so he used to give DS all of his baths and I think he really enjoyed this as a bonding experience, and it gave me some time off each evening too - perhaps he could do some baby massage after the bath and it might even induce sleep without a feed! DS hated water so he used to actually get in the bath with his Dad, so they had that skin to skin contact as well which helped.

Angel - I think it will help you to speak to one of the bf helplines and get your options sorted, and your questions answered.

stress would not have affected your milk supply...this is a big myth. It might have effected your bf experience* but not the overall quantity of milk

• fathers do not need to feed the baby to bond - they really don't. It's the quality of the relationship, not whether they give a bottle, that affects their attachment to the baby, and the baby's attachment to their father. There are many ways a father can help their partner have a break - and big grown up adult fathers should be big enough to release some 'space' for the mum to bf a tiny baby without feeling 'left out', don't you think? With four other kids, there is a lot your dh can do to help, I'm sure

• if you do decide to express, then the website www.expressyourselfmums.co.uk has a good selection of pumps and discussions on which ones are most suitable for which situation

• if you intend fully expressing, then you need to start from birth; you can also express from birth if you want to give an occasional bottle, but there is no need to start as early as this - there is no 'right' and 'wrong' time to start expressing, whatever people say, except it makes sense to get bf well-established first, if you can, as it can mess up your demand-and-supply a bit if you start too soon. Remember that giving a bottle of anything, expressed or formula, which leaves a longer gap between 'direct' feeds, is not good for supply

• think about why bf went pear-shaped before and with the breastfeeding counsellor's help, work on a strategy to avoid or handle the challenges - direct bf is so much easier when it works!

Hope this helps

oh thank you tiktok. I have bookmarked the website.

thank you bertiebotts.

Anangelwithin - will answer you here as there is some great advice, can only add my experiences

1. have never used a manual pump after being recommended an electic one on here, mini Medela has worked great for me

1. DD1 expressed from birth as she was too sleepy and jaundiced to suck at first, offered breast then bottle at every feed until we were breast only after about a week I think. Expressing is a complete faff compared to just BFing but good to have in reserve in case you want to go out etc. DD2 and 3 from about 6 weeks few bottles a week but DD3 would not take a bottle if I was anywhere near her, would take it fine from DP or SIL but never from me or if she could see me she wanted it from source. DD2 would have taken milk from anywhere or anything.

1. can't remember how I did it probably when I got a spare 10 minutes, mornings better, have done before a feed, during a feed and after a feed

DP never felt left out, he did nappies/baths and cuddles. He helped me BF by sorting out the older ones, I don't think he has ever felt left out TBH.