Feel a failure can't keep bf as so exhausted!

[endoxana]

DS2 is 14 weeks and feeds all the time every 1-2 hours at night. I haven't slept in 14 weeks and now suffering from insomnia as I see no point in sleeping at all as I feel the next feed will be any minute!
I just can't keep going. Do you think I am wrong to give up. Will ff be the answer? Just so tired I managed 6 months with DS1 but he was different.

endoxana you said you were lying awkwardly for night feeds. Can you practise getting comfortable at lying down feeding? I used to get all twisted but spent a minute at the start getting comfy before feeding. Then once I knew my position it made it easier to relax. I normally have the bottom leg straight, top leg bent so knee is on mattress, cushion on bottom arm to keep my head supported and top arm supporting baby (no idea if that makes sense). You'll be surprised that just being relaxed makes it easier even if you don't sleep (my DS sounds like yours - he's 16 weeks, 91st centile and 2/3 hourly feeder day and night).

oh you poor thing. I totally sympathise - I'm in the same boat myself although it sounds like your having it worse. DS2 is 10 weeks and wakes at stupidly short intervals, although I tend to get three hours out of him after he wakes around 10:15 (actually its not really is it, cos you have take away the time it takes to feed), then two, then one hour sessions. I do dread bedtime really. I also have DS1 who is nearly 3, but DH bless him looks after him in the night cos he's being a pain at the moment. He sleeps in a hammock until the wake about 4am at which point he wont settle back in there and I bring him in with me. I do find that I dont get much kip with him in bed with me though, I have to hold my breast for him to feed which isnt comfy and he wakes when I shift about.

Why not try giving mix feeding a go? It may well not work, but then if you dont give it a go, you wont know.

Personally, I mix feed, but he only gets bottles during the day. Thats because he is super-windy, and formula makes it worse, and also because he will sick up quite a bit of formula but tends to only posset a little bit of breastmilk. I dont express because I cant produce enough so its not an option.

I dont think mine would actually sleep longer if I gave him formula at night, so I dont bother, because I can function (just) on the rest I'm getting at the moment. I'm just praying he starts to sleep for longer periods soon. Good luck with it. x

Undercovamuthq that is good advice.

When bf lying down I lie on my right hand side. When it's the right boob I bend my right arm and put my head on my right hand. When it's the left boob I kind of lean over ds in order to get nipple in mouth. Sorry kind of tricky to describe but I haven't found any other positions that work.

When I fed lying down I would lie on the side I was feeding on IYSWIM. The bottom arm would be stretched up towards the headboard and I put a thin pillow between my shoulder and head. No idea if that makes sense but it's worth trying some new ways of getting comfy, you might surprise yourself.

my second suggestion is go to bed earlier!

i found that actually it was far easier to change my own expectations than it was to expect the baby to change to fit in with me

so, a few very boring months of going to bed at around 8pm by myself (dp just brought baby up for feeds) and then dp getting the children up in the morning and leaving me to have an extra half hour or so

also my very very lovely friend M, and my mum, who used to come round sometimes and take ds1 out so that I could nap when ds2 napped. or at least doze on the sofa.

i also used to shut us all in the sitting room in the afternoon, put a dvd on for ds1, and doze on the sofa

Have nothing really to add except that you have done so brilliantly so far, especially with a 2 year old.

Whatever you decide you need a bloody good medal and maybe some chocolate .

I would also try co-sleeping again and see if you can work a more comfortable position. I found it was better if DS2 was much lower than I originally put him - then my arm didn't go dead.

His feeding really settled down after about 14 weeks and he started to sleep for longer stretches.

Good luck

endoxana - try changing the position of your legs to make sure you're not too twisted - I found that was what made me uncomfortable if I didnt sort them out.

Thanks you've all been really nice and helpful will try and carry on and try to adjust our sleeping position. However, if it's not getting any better will mix feed I think!

god, this sounds just like my DS! (91st percentile, 17 weeks ) he's finally managing 1 4 hour sleep, but then it's every 45 mins or so - bloody exhausting. I've also got the insomnia of 'if I go to sleep now, he'll only wake me up, may as well stay awake.'

we got him to do the 4 hr sleep by shoving a dummy in if he wakes before his 4 hrs is up iyswim? it sadly isn't working for the remainder of the night, when he just wants food.

oh, and we tried 1 ff, and he woke up after an hour. so decided that as i can bf lying down, we'd stick with that! best of luck, and hope you get some sleep eventually

Good luck

Cushion between legs?

OP - I started mix-feeding when DS was 7wo (he had put little or no weight on in 4 weeks). As mentioned earlier, I didn't have the energy to try anything else, and was worried sick as he had a few health concerns which have thankfully sorted themselves out now. I had bf DD successfully for 11m (when she self-weaned)so was shocked that it wasn't going swimmingly with DS tbh!!!

A few people told me that mix-feeding would be a downward spiral to full ff, but I carried on until he was nearly 7m. I bf at every feed and then topped up with formula. However, I know quite a few people who (once bf was established) do just one ff at about 10/11pm, and still carry on bf past the 6m mark. I'm not sure it helps the baby sleep more, but it does give the option of you getting a bit of sleep during the first bit of the night if you DH can do the feed.

Hope you had a better night last night.

Is there any chance that he may not be latching correctly and therefore not getting enough at each feed? I had a problem with my baby feeding ALL the time and went to the breastfeeding clinic and cafe and it turns out she wasn't latching correcting.

The hard thing is getting up the energy to go to one of these clinics when you have been up all night feeding!

You are doing incredibly well though. Honestly, I am not sure I could have handled it so well with a two-year old on top of everything.

Agree totally chaya. I really wish I'd tried a bf counsellor - but just didn't have the mental energy at the time!

I haven't seen a bf counsellor this time but he is gaining weight well doubled his birth weight at 14 weeks.
Last night was better he fed from 9-11 pm and then woke at 1am, 4am and 6.30am so I actually feel better. Also managed to get a bit more comfy in bed whilst feeding so that was good.
Think I will just plod on for the time being ds won't take a bottle from me so will need to wait for DH to get home tonight before trying anything else anyway.
I don't understand how some people find this easy it's like an unbelievable endurance test!

Those people are liars - it's the only explanation! Glad to hear you're feeling better.