Hi,
I have posted before a couple of times. It's complicated, but I'll try and keep it brief. I have very flat/inverted nipples and had to exclusively express to feed my ds (now nearly 3) which I did for 6 months. I was expecting to do this all again for DD, but she managed to latch on shortly after birth. However, lack of support meant that after 2 days my milk was actually decreasing and she was awake all night each night bobbing on and off (in hospital). I asked for pump bits (had my own pumps) and expressed my concern that dd didn't seem to be feeding well and had slept through her feeds that day. Finally people started to take notice - and brought me pump bits. Breastfeeding counsellor was unhelpful and shoved my boob in sleeping dd's face, then proclaimed (not in so many words but implied) that it wasn't really ever going to work due to flat/inverted nipples and strongly hinted that I should express again. They also hinted that if I didn't give her formula until my milk came in they would get paed's involved etc and she could be kept in. DS was really struggling being apart from me so we decided to just do whatever it took to get us out of there.
I went home expressing and DD perked up a treat and started breastfeeding as well. On the second night my pump broke completely so I kept breastfeeding her and got DP to buy me a hand pump in the morning. However, after a few more days she wasn't feeding well and I was not able to express much whereas I had before. SHe had also dropped 80g in those few days. She had now gone down to 6lb7oz (1lb lower than her birthweight). So I bought a new double pump and started expressing again. She than of course perked up again and started feeding well. The midwife said that now it was time to decrease the expressing a bit and let her do it on her own. SO we tried it for a week (decreased the expressing over a few days). Her poo went nasty dark green, then lighter green, and sometimes runny. I asked the HV to weigh her again and after a week she had dropped 6oz . So was advised to top up with expressed milk after each feed, then express the next feed's top up.
I have been doing this for about a week now. SHe put on 10oz from Friday to Tuesday and she's being weighed again in clinic tomorrow. But I am struggling to express and breastfeed. She ALWAYS needs a top up (except maybe first thing in the morning). I am concerned that she is not and will not latch properly due to my nipple shape. When she was breastfeeding exclusively she was feeding constantly and never seemed full. Part of the problem was I was so tired and so was she that we both often fell asleep in the evenings (took it in turns) and the breasfeeding was not the best quality. Also my supply seemed to take a dip that week.
So...what do I do? I could start expressing exclusively which I think she would thrive on but she seems to really enjoy breastfeeding and will often refuse the bottle and then hit her head against my chest with her mouth open (perhaps indicating she wants to comfort feed at those times?). I can't seem to maintain her weight from just breastfeeding her apparently. I did go and see a bf counsellor 10 days ago but DD had recently fed (to get her out of the house) and was not interested in feeding which meant she was not doing a lot and kept falling asleep . She has had formula occasionally too - something I never wanted to do ( especially as she doesn't tolerate it well - possets and has a rash wherever it falls...plus has signs of excema (sp?)). Also, even though she's now feeding well her poo is often diarrhoea like and sometimes still green.
Aargh! Why does it have to be so hard?!? And to make it worse, for the last week I've had a crack on one nipple (caused by the handpump originally but it does hurt like hell when she feeds because it is like a tiny open bit).
Please, please can I have some advice on this. I feel so alone because if I mention it to anyone around me they tell me to just put her on a bottle. And I don't want to do that because of the worries that she is not taking formula well and also I want her to have breastmilk like DS.
Hope that wasn't too long and if you've read this far...thank you .