What should I do to prepare for breastfeeding and where did I go wrong last time? (Warning - very long!)

[thedollshouse]

I am expecting my second baby in April and would like to breastfeed. Is there anything
that you would suggest doing in advance or any books that are particularly useful? Most of the books I have picked up seem to focus on the benefits of breastfeeding, I don't need to be convinced that breast is best I need something that focuses on the logistics of breastfeeding.

When I had my son 5 years ago breastfeeding turned out to be a disaster for us and I had given up within a few weeks. I did speak to a breastfeeding counsellor when ds was small and she said that she felt that my failure to bf was due to giving formula too soon and stress hindering my milk supply. I think that she is right but I sometimes wonder if there was more to it than that. Apologies in advance for the very long rambling post but I will detail everything and if anyone has any experience please advise.

When I was pregnant I started to leak colostrum at 16 weeks so assumed that I had an abundant supply. Strangely although I put on 3 stone my boobs didn't actually get any bigger. I went from a 32DD to a 36B. I had a csection and unfortunately ds was whisked off to SCBU and wasn't brought back for a feed until about 1 hour to 1 hour 30 minutes later, when he came back he was scraming and sticking his whole fists into his mouth. I put him to my breast and he latched on straight away (midwife said latch was perfect) but fell asleep and despite the midwife saying that he had a good feed I know that he didn't take anything. I was told to try to feed him every 3 hours, I knew this advice was outdated so I tried to feed him more regularly than that but he would just fall asleep as soon as he was put to the breast.

The nightstaff on my ward were beyond awful, I felt very wary of them when one snapped at me when I asked if I would be allowed to eat breakfast the following morning and when I asked if my cathetar and drip could be changed (urine and blood was leaking on the floor) I was told that they were too busy. When I eventually plucked up the courage to ring the buzzer and ask for someone to help me lift ds from his cot so I could give a feed the midwife roughly pushed him onto me and her exact words were "You don't have a hope in hell of feeding him from that position, you clearly know nothing about breastfeeding!" Ds screamed every time I put him to my breast and eventually he fell asleep on my chest.

The next day ds was very sleepy, I would put him to my breast but he wouldn't take anything. The day staff were pleasant but they said that nobody with breastfeeding expertise was available to help me. When the second night came ds was starving and screamed the whole night long. One of the midwives shouted at me and told me that my s baby was keeping the rest of the mothers awake and I was being very selfish. I asked for formula as I didn't know what else to do. The midwife bought me some ready made formula in one of those baby bottle type things. Because I had intended to bf I hadn't carried out any research into formula and I wrongly assumed that I was supposed to feed it all to him. Ds nearly drained the bottle so I was then told off as he was only supposed to have a third of it (he was obviously hungry!).

The next day they said that ds was looking jaundiced and that I should give him another formula feed. I eventually managed to persuade them to discharge us that evening as I couldn't handle another night in that place.

When I got home I tried to bf ds but he would just scream and wasn't interested. The next day I sent dh out to buy some formula. When the midwife came she advised me to start expressing. I tried expressing every 3 hours but I was only managing to express a trickle even with an electric pump. My milk never came in and a week after ds's birth my pre pregancy bras were hanging off me.

Ds wasn't weighed until he was 5 days old as I saw two different community midwifes and there was some sort of communication problem about the weighing scales or something. By now ds was receiving around 3 to 4 formula feeds a day. When ds was weighed he had lost 12% of his birthweight but the midwife miscalculated it and said that he had only lost 9% I didn't correct her as I didn't want him to be admitted to hospital. She had already told me that he would be readmitted if he lost 10% or more.

I immediately upped the intake of formula as I couldn't bear the thought of ds being taken into hospital. I managed to see a bf counsellor a few days later but despite her patience (she sat with me for hours) she couldn't get him to suck when he was on the breast. Once I had upped the formula, ds became so much more alert, he started putting on weight and started looking healthy. I couldn't go back after that.

I am now 29 weeks pregnant, I haven't leaked any colostrum so far. My bump is massive but my boobs don't seem to be growing I am still wearing my pre pregancy bras but at 32DD I am not exactly tiny in that department so not sure if this is a concern or not.

Apologies if you have managed to get through this epic post! I am just trying to establish if my failure to bf was due to giving formula too soon or if there is something else glaringly obvious that I have missed. Is it normal for milk not to come in if you are trying to bf and expressing on a regular basis? What should I do differently this time?

Many thanks for getting this far.

the post natal care you received was shocking and the breastfeeding care a travesty. the only failure i can read in your post is failure of the health care professionals to take care of you and your baby.

breast size has no impact in success of breastfeeding. Women with v small breasts feed successfully. Leaking colostrum is not significant either.

The separation from you and your baby played a big role in his lack of feeding. Many midwives say they are latched on perfectly and they are not. As you suspected baby who is 'perfectly latched' on but asleep and not feeding will not get milk. simples. Babies do learn how to feed while sleeping but in your son's case, he needed a boost to make him take milk.

If you are to have a second baby by c/s, insist that he is kept with you unless he is not breathing properly etc. which may justify separation. keep him skin to skin while you are being stitched up and he may latch on right there. Of course, the same applies with a vaginal delivery. They can weigh and count toes after he has finished his first feed.

I had a very similar thing as you in hospital. I was told by every single midwife over 2 days that my dd was perfectly latched but I knew she wasn't. I knew she wasn't getting milk but none of them seemed to understand. by day 3 she had severe jaundice.

There is something called 'breast compression' - google it - which will help a baby who is not getting enough milk to feed.

Expressing does not tell you how much milk you can make.

Can you go to a Bumps and Babies or a BAbycafe in your area? It is good to go to a breastfeeding support group while pg. The facilitators of these groups are well trained in breastfeeding. Who ever told you that stress inhibits milk is wrong. It may inhibit the letdown reflex (milk flow) for a little while if you are suddenly under severe stress but not like people imagine it does.

breast compression

This site is excellent. You may want to have a good nosy around before your baby gets here. There are videos of how to do breast compressions, good latches, etc. it also has great information about getting started and the information sheets like the breast compression ones are fab fab fab.

one more thing, the best time to feed a baby is when they cue for a feed. I think you already suspect this. TBH, i think you can breastfeed for as long as you like this time round. you sound like you need reassurance right now and phoning a breastfeeding helpline before your baby arrives (ABM, BfN, LLL NCT) is also a good idea.

A lot of your early experience was very similar to mine - although my stay in hospital was a lot more positive. The thing that saved me, when I was in bits and feeling very horrible was a combination of my local Breastfeeding Network group (this was the most important by far), Jack Newman's website videos on breastfeeding (and his general attutude that a lot of healthcare professionals know zip about bf) and Mumsnet.

You can go to BFN before the baby is born. My group were and are fab.

The size, or changes in size, of your breasts will not affect your ability to breastfeed. Small breasts produce as much milk as large ones.

IMO, what you had was a very sleepy baby after a c-section, as I did, a lot of discouragement of your mothering and feeding you baby, and a lot of encouragement of formula feeding. Really such a hard and harsh combination for you.

I believe it is most likely that formula feeding so early will have affected your supply. Babies can find bottles fill them up more quickly with less effort too, so that may be why he appeared to not suck on your breast when you saw the counsellor.

I can totally understand why you felt more comfortable giving your baby what seemed to make him happy and thriving. I think your confidence was undermined and that if you find ways to get support, hopefully you will gain in confidence this time. I wish you lots of luck.

Yay Jack Newman Foxy! I used to LOVE those videos and sit with DD, looking at her feeding, looking at the video, back at her etc. Did me lots of good. I was just off to find the link for OP.

great minds think alike, Troutie.

Espanola?

no, centroamericana/caribena

i found 'bestfeeding' by renfrew et al was the best book, and kellymom.com the best website, as well as here of course!

Hi dollshouse, some really brilliant advice from foxytocin and I also strongly recommend that you get your BF support lined up before the birth. We all take our chances with the midwives, doctors and health visitors who happen to be around when we give birth, and sounds like you drew the short straw last time around ...

Loads of people run into the same sorts of problems as you in the first few days, and so many don't get good advice in time for it to make a difference (if at all). So the first most important rule of successful BF is to ask loudly for help as soon as you need it (preferably before) and never to think that your worry is trivial or insignificant.

BF counsellors and peer supporters are the best people to support you, they are mums who have breastfed themselves and are also have much more training in BF than healthcare professionals like midwives. They are also, usually, nice and sympathetic people! I suggest you try to get to a local BF support group (or ante-natal group) beforehand where you can meet these people. Hopefully that will give you the confidence to call on them for help if you need it, or just good supportive company if you don't.

As mentioned above, the four main breastfeeding support organisations which run these groups and classes are BFN, NCT, La Leche League and ABM as well as the Baby cafes. Start googling now!

The best of luck, it sounds like you're going to be much better prepared this time around!

Great advice, thanks everyone!

I will have a look at all the websites and books recommended. There is a breastfeeding cafe that operates once a month in my town and I am planning to visit that next month. I'm also going to have this baby at a different hospital which has a much better reputation when it comes to postnatal care. I don't know whether I will have a csection this time, at the moment the baby is breech again so it is a possibility. There wasn't really any need for ds to be whisked of to SCBU so soon I had picked up a mild infection so he was sent there as a precaution. The Anaesthetist and the Midwife actually had an argument over this, the Anesthetist's view was that I should be allowed to spend time with ds in the recovery room before he was taken away but the midwife was adament that he was to be taken straight away.

Thanks once again for your all advice. I might be back for more soon!