What should I do to prepare for breastfeeding and where did I go wrong last time? (Warning - very long!)

[thedollshouse]

I am expecting my second baby in April and would like to breastfeed. Is there anything
that you would suggest doing in advance or any books that are particularly useful? Most of the books I have picked up seem to focus on the benefits of breastfeeding, I don't need to be convinced that breast is best I need something that focuses on the logistics of breastfeeding.

When I had my son 5 years ago breastfeeding turned out to be a disaster for us and I had given up within a few weeks. I did speak to a breastfeeding counsellor when ds was small and she said that she felt that my failure to bf was due to giving formula too soon and stress hindering my milk supply. I think that she is right but I sometimes wonder if there was more to it than that. Apologies in advance for the very long rambling post but I will detail everything and if anyone has any experience please advise.

When I was pregnant I started to leak colostrum at 16 weeks so assumed that I had an abundant supply. Strangely although I put on 3 stone my boobs didn't actually get any bigger. I went from a 32DD to a 36B. I had a csection and unfortunately ds was whisked off to SCBU and wasn't brought back for a feed until about 1 hour to 1 hour 30 minutes later, when he came back he was scraming and sticking his whole fists into his mouth. I put him to my breast and he latched on straight away (midwife said latch was perfect) but fell asleep and despite the midwife saying that he had a good feed I know that he didn't take anything. I was told to try to feed him every 3 hours, I knew this advice was outdated so I tried to feed him more regularly than that but he would just fall asleep as soon as he was put to the breast.

The nightstaff on my ward were beyond awful, I felt very wary of them when one snapped at me when I asked if I would be allowed to eat breakfast the following morning and when I asked if my cathetar and drip could be changed (urine and blood was leaking on the floor) I was told that they were too busy. When I eventually plucked up the courage to ring the buzzer and ask for someone to help me lift ds from his cot so I could give a feed the midwife roughly pushed him onto me and her exact words were "You don't have a hope in hell of feeding him from that position, you clearly know nothing about breastfeeding!" Ds screamed every time I put him to my breast and eventually he fell asleep on my chest.

The next day ds was very sleepy, I would put him to my breast but he wouldn't take anything. The day staff were pleasant but they said that nobody with breastfeeding expertise was available to help me. When the second night came ds was starving and screamed the whole night long. One of the midwives shouted at me and told me that my s baby was keeping the rest of the mothers awake and I was being very selfish. I asked for formula as I didn't know what else to do. The midwife bought me some ready made formula in one of those baby bottle type things. Because I had intended to bf I hadn't carried out any research into formula and I wrongly assumed that I was supposed to feed it all to him. Ds nearly drained the bottle so I was then told off as he was only supposed to have a third of it (he was obviously hungry!).

The next day they said that ds was looking jaundiced and that I should give him another formula feed. I eventually managed to persuade them to discharge us that evening as I couldn't handle another night in that place.

When I got home I tried to bf ds but he would just scream and wasn't interested. The next day I sent dh out to buy some formula. When the midwife came she advised me to start expressing. I tried expressing every 3 hours but I was only managing to express a trickle even with an electric pump. My milk never came in and a week after ds's birth my pre pregancy bras were hanging off me.

Ds wasn't weighed until he was 5 days old as I saw two different community midwifes and there was some sort of communication problem about the weighing scales or something. By now ds was receiving around 3 to 4 formula feeds a day. When ds was weighed he had lost 12% of his birthweight but the midwife miscalculated it and said that he had only lost 9% I didn't correct her as I didn't want him to be admitted to hospital. She had already told me that he would be readmitted if he lost 10% or more.

I immediately upped the intake of formula as I couldn't bear the thought of ds being taken into hospital. I managed to see a bf counsellor a few days later but despite her patience (she sat with me for hours) she couldn't get him to suck when he was on the breast. Once I had upped the formula, ds became so much more alert, he started putting on weight and started looking healthy. I couldn't go back after that.

I am now 29 weeks pregnant, I haven't leaked any colostrum so far. My bump is massive but my boobs don't seem to be growing I am still wearing my pre pregancy bras but at 32DD I am not exactly tiny in that department so not sure if this is a concern or not.

Apologies if you have managed to get through this epic post! I am just trying to establish if my failure to bf was due to giving formula too soon or if there is something else glaringly obvious that I have missed. Is it normal for milk not to come in if you are trying to bf and expressing on a regular basis? What should I do differently this time?

Many thanks for getting this far.

My boobs only grew a little when pregnant. I'm a 36A right now. My first baby I struggled to feed from me as she was a sleepy baby and I didn't persevere but started replacing feeds etc (big mistake).

It's purely circumstances that caused you to make the decisions you did. You were worried about your baby being hungry, the hospital staff weren't helpful etc. Too little too late as the saying goes by the time someone tried to help you. YOU DID THE BEST YOU COULD! Do not feel guilty.

When I had my second baby I was determined to BF. I had a C section with my second baby and until my milk came in (which sometimes takes a little longer with a c section) he was very hungry, however I kept putting him to me ONLY, nothing else and before long my milk came in. I lived off chocolate, flap jacks and pints and pints of water. Yes I don't have big boobs but I breast fed exclusively for 6 months with perseverance and eating and drinking plenty.

You can do it too. This time go to BF clinics early on for help and advice, come on Mums net too anytime you need help and advice.

You will be fine x

Looking forward to hearing more tips for you hon x

Thanks very much Teaandcakeplease. Your advice is very helpful.

Somehow I have managed to post this message twice.

I had an emergency C-section with my first son. I had a bad breastfeeding experience in hospital with midwifes etc struggling to give me time to help my son to latch. I seeked lots of help once out of hospital and the situation was not helped by my son needing an operation at 3 weeks for a inguinal hernia. I stopped Bf at couple of months but continued to express and mix feed until a 4-5 months old.
I was determined to BF the second time round and my initial goal was to 6 months. My second DS is nearly 11 months and we are still going strong. He was once again an emergency C-section (failed VBAC) but came out wanting to feed and never had problems with his latch like my first DS.
Over the last month or two of pregnancy I did lots of reading and going on Mumsnet and Kellymom on BF advice. I do have the book by the La Leche League 'The womanly art of breastfeeding' which is very useful from the eraly days until you decide to wean.
I also had the number of the NCT breastfeeding helpline to hand in case I was struggling in hospital or at home.
I hope your BF experience is a lot better this time

oh dollshouse I am so sorry to hear your story, but completely agree with teaandcakeplease that you did what you could in such a difficult situation. It is completely not your fault that the midwives were so unhelpful, so rude to you and so badly informed about how to help breastfeeding

I definitely recommend La Leche League. If you have a group near you, you can go to meetings or coffee mornings while you are still pregnant, to find out more about the practicalities of breastfeeding and to meet mums with breastfeeding babies at all stages.

If there are no LLL groups near you then you can call the helpline whenever you want. The other breastfeeding support groups can also be useful, but purely based on my own experience I feel the LLL is the best. Mumsnet can be great if you seek out experienced breastfeeding mums or trained breastfeeding counsellors, and www.kellymom.com is great because it is based on research and evidence rather than one person's opinion or skewed experience.

I really wish I had known about La Leche League before I had ds1 - I only contacted them with ds2 - In my case ds1 was also really sleepy. I now think this was due to the beta blockers they had put me on to reduce my blood pressure. The midwives had said to ask for help any time I wanted to breastfeed. But in reality, most of the time they were too busy and didn't appear to want to be bothered. Then they did come to help I had such varied advice, and in the end poor ds1 ended up having hypoglycaemia and seizures and had to go into special care. I now fully believe that if they had supported my breastfeeding properly, none of that would have happened. On the positive side of things, despite him having some formula in hospital and despite still having problems with sleepyness and weight gain at home, and despite a really less than helpful HV, I managed to breastfeed him until just under 1 yr old. So I am sending good 'vibes' or whatever you need and hope this will go far better for you second time round.

I am open mouthed at the lack of support you got breast feeding your ds, although I'm not sure why it should suprise me as I had a bad experience with one particular midwife on my first night too. But thanfully I got good support from others.

Find out if where your nearest babycafe is and go before you have your baby. You will be able to talk through your earlier experience with the counsellors there and will get some expert advice.

Good luck!

ps porridge and flapjacks are great for milk supply as the oats seem to be 'galactogogues' (see Kellymom)!

Also I think the most useful book I saw when breastfeeding ds2 was 'Bestfeeding' as it had good diagrams of the best position for your babies head on your breast. But my next-door neighbour is training to be a breastfeeding counsellor with the NCT and says there is another great book which has been published since.

And breast size doesn't matter in terms of milk production - Kellymom has a section about that too.

Doesn't sound like you went wrong- the hospital staff did. This time I would make sure that it goes down in your birthplan that you want to breastfeed and that you want support with this. If there is a problem just at first, there are other things they can do than just shove him onto the bottle.

those hospital staff really did not support you. why not get in touch with a bf counsellor rightaway and maybe plan for the support you will need if you take baby straight home and if you have to stay in hosp for a bit. my ds was also born 5 years ago and he spent 9 days in scubu and didn't go on the breast until he was 5 days old but i exbf him for 6 months. it was the scubu staff who supported me and then the NCT counsellor came to my house when I needed help. the hospital staff were not helpful and I saw this again when i had dd in a different hosp and they were very brisk and abrupt with a new mum who was desperately worried her milk wasn't coming in .
stop worrying about your bra size and look forward to lying in bed feeding your baby .

Given the lack of changes in your breasts and the fact your milk didn't come in, it is possible you have low supply due to low glandular tissue. You can look here to see if your breasts fit any of the shapes which can indicate this. But since you were leaking colostorum you must have at least some glandular tissue so could at least partially feed your baby.

I have this partial problem, and for me it takes domperidone (a pharmaceutical galactagogue) and lots of pumping to get an adequate supply - babies fall asleep when the milk doesn't flow fast enough. I used an SNS at the breast to supplement each feed with pumped breastmilk. You can get domperidone at this website www.inhousephamarcy.co.uk or some GPs will prescribe it. Kellymom has more info on this.

From the sound of it lots more was against you so its possible you might get a full supply with this baby, just want to prepare you that despite all your troubles it may not have been that lack of help which was the main cause of the problem. The helplines are all fab so I recommend them too, it's just that in my experience the women on them are not experienced enough with true low supply to recognise it when they see it.

Sorry to hear you had such a horrible experience last time.
I second most of what others have said, and would also suggest this website www.drjacknewman.com/

It also sounds like your stress levels were pretty high from the start. Remember all the advice we've seen so many times here on MN, like that the things which encourage good feeding & good supply are skin-to-skin contact as much as possible, and offering the chance to feed as often as possible. Having said that though:

1. if your baby needs care and isn't with you for an hour or so... never mind, just keep him/her very close when they come back... snuggle into bed with them, tuck them inside your clothes.
2. Most newborns sleep a LOT in the first 24-48 hours and you won't be able to wake them and get them to feed. Just take every opportunity they offer. Having them close will help this.
3. You said you were sure your ds didn't take anything at the first feed... remember the quantities of colostrum are miniscule (so is his stomach at that age) and you aren't trying to satisfy "hunger", you're trying to give vital antibodies, get him sucking, and stimulate your supply. Give it time before you expect to see signficant amounts of milk.

I really hope you have a better experience next time. Fingers crossed it all goes smoothly and you can get home quickly and snuggle up in peace. Remember to plan to get help with your ds when the new one comes, so you can spend lots of quiet time with baby!

You've had some great advice above. Mine is more general: babymoon, babymoon, babymoon.

Obviously it could be a little tricky with a little one around, but I think it would be worth investing some time organising things now so that you can spend 2 weeks in bed with your little 'un when you come home. Set up your room so that you have everything you need easily to hand - books, laptop, TV, DVD player and favourite films. Spend your entire time topless with your newbie snuggled up to you, feeding on demand at early cues so that they don't get worked up. My DH brought me breakfast in bed and we had an afternoon tea ritual every day. It truly was a really really lovely time and de-stressed the whole feeding process.

Hopefully, even if the hospital part of the experience isn't great, this would help you to transform it when you come home.