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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

BFing "inconvenient for the mother, time-consuming, bad for breast shape, at odds with a night's sleep and never done by fathers"

99 replies

Ewe · 22/01/2010 19:30

Evening Standard article.

I mixed fed my DD and as such am rarely bothered by bf/ff debates as I don't tend to fall on either side of fence but this comment article really irritate me!

OP posts:

SE22 · 24/01/2010 20:04

Oh that has made me really cross. Why does anyone read the Evening Standard?

messofthedurbervilles · 24/01/2010 20:30

It's just a free version of the Daily Mail for 23-year old London office workers who are too young to remember when newspapers were good ...

Surfermum · 24/01/2010 20:55

I never get sucked into FF/BF debates but I am really puzzled by Mareta's comment:

"I will say that some people find FF "easier/better" than BF which it is fair enough. I just feel sorry that they cannot enjoy the time we have with our DCs."

How on earth do you think our babies get fed - of course we spend time with them ? And how did your friend feed hers if not by cuddling them? Using a remote control bottle while they looked at something else far more interesting ?

Every scenario, every feeling you describe I experienced too - the only difference was that dd on the whole had formula not breast milk. I didn't miss out on anything. My best memory of feeding her was when I decided to stay out late on my sister's yacht as it was such a lovely evening. We found an island to moor near, I waded ashore with dd in my arms and fed her sat under a tree on a little beach, watching the sun set over the Purbecks. It was impromptu and awesome!

Squiglet · 24/01/2010 22:53

what a small minded but obviously in need of some help woman. Sheesh. I have posted a response on the papers site.

CrosswordGeek · 25/01/2010 00:01

I would absolutely love to squirt a beautiful flow of BM in this woman's eye.

I have just stumbled across a whole load of, what I feel are, anti-breastfeeding things :/

People say how BF mums are awful about FF mums, but it's bollocks. I feel that I have to put up with much more abuse for BFing. If I was giving my daughter a bottle, noone would expect me to check that it's okay to feed her in their company, but feeding her naturally means that, apparently, I should.

RubyBuckleberry · 02/02/2010 10:59

what a load of old bollox! artificial baby milk as good as breastmilk, er don't think so. i wonder if melanie would like to drink that stuff for six months or longer? has anyone who ff actually tasted it? the uk has shockingly bad bfing stats and articles like this don't help. you would never read an article like this in say, sweden. what does this say about our culture and the way we rear our young? and all that plastic - gasp!

becstarlitsea · 02/02/2010 11:06

When she says
"It's a comfort to know that if the two of them do sometimes seem a bit slow on the uptake, particularly in respect of not handling sharp instruments, it's down to original sin, or genes, not an early diet of Aptamil."

...does that actually mean:
"It's a comfort to know that my children are stupid because I am stupid, not because I gave them formula"

Because if so, it explains so much....

CatIsSleepy · 02/02/2010 11:25

tbh breast-feeding is one of the least inconvenient parts of having a baby

she obviously didn't like it, was feeling guilty about it and is looking for self-justification...

Pinkcaz · 02/02/2010 11:44

Ok I know this will bite me in the bum... what happened to choice? I think the lady is not saying you shouldn't breastfeed she is just saying why hate women who choose the bottle?

Why should there always be 'guilt' about it?? I have a beautiful healthy, happy little girl who sleeps through the night, gaining weight well and had no illnesses bar little sniffles which all the babies I know have had with this bad weather, what should I feel guilty about with that?

I think breastfeeding is a wonderful thing we can provide for our children.. but its also a wonderful thing living at a time when there is a choice which still makes us able to have healthy happy babies surely?

confusedfirsttimemum · 02/02/2010 12:01

If she' said "why hate women who choose the bottle", lots of people would agree. She didn't say that. She attacked breastfeding. She called it time consuming, bad for breasts, bad for sleep and (indirectly) savage. No one is saying that there should be guilt about bottle feeding, but just as you'd be (rightly) cross if someone attacked bottle feeding in such emotive terms, so people are cross about this. The fact that a lot of her information is just plain wrong (breastfeeding is neither bad for breast shape nor sleep) simply adds fuel to the fire.

JaMmRocks · 02/02/2010 12:05

I had no idea I was an 'outpost of the dairy industry'

LoveBeingAMummy · 02/02/2010 12:08

There's not a lot i can say without getting it deleted

Just a question, is she hated it so much why did she start to bf her second child?

roslily · 02/02/2010 18:37

Right, can i just say as someone who "failed" at BF, FF is so much easier. I can feed him in a cafe without him screaming and exposing myself. He still smiles at me when he feeds, often he breaks off to smile at me. I have wondeful cuddles while i feed thanks.

Oh and to save my sanity i can be away from him for more than half an hour, and have had an evening away from him, which has helped me stay out of the nuthouse.

He used to take one look at my nips and scream, he smiles when he sees the bottle.

I hate the article, but i hate all this "isn't wondeful to have cuddles" and stuck on sofa? I was expected to constantly feed and do all housework, so not so much fun.

theboobmeister · 02/02/2010 21:02

Oh come on, this whole discussion about what's easier, BF or FF, is a bit pointless.

If you are having a really terrible experience with BF, then of course FF is going to feel easier in comparison. No-one here is going to argue with your personal experience or say that it doesn't count. But you cannot possibly use your particular experience to draw a universal conclusion about BF.

This is exactly what was so bloody irritating about the article. Just because one journalist had a tough time, and didn't get the help she needed to fix her problems, oh well in that case BF must be IMPOSSIBLE and CRAP for EVERYONE at ALL TIMES ....

StayFrosty · 02/02/2010 21:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fibilou · 03/02/2010 10:52

She sounds desperately bitter

fernie3 · 03/02/2010 14:11

well obviously breastfeeding is best for baby, no one can deny that. I have to say although I enjoyed breastfeeding my last baby ( i didnt do it exclusively i mixed fed) I had no real problems BUT I did find it more inconvenient, maybe it was just my baby but formula feeds were alot easier when I was dealing with the other children. My daughter would breastfeed for well over an hour before she was satisfied and then have more 2 hours later for another hour which WAS inconvenient to me no matter how you put it. It also stopped me sleeping because I had to sit up to feed (I have hip problems and lying on my side for a length of time is painful) so I would be sitting there for hours in the night then getting up at 6 with my other children with no nap during the day. I also found it difficult to feed her when we were out because my other children would be running everywhere bored while I sat there for ages waiting for her to finish.
Maybe i just did it all wrong though!

I think the way she has written it is rubbish and makes her sound like a bit of an idiot but I CAN see a basic point in there.

Fibilou · 03/02/2010 14:21

"Mothers, I fancy, have other, better things to do with the time they spend not breast-feeding" (from the Times article)

Yes, like sterilising and preparing feeds I suppose

whizzpop · 03/02/2010 14:34

My view:
BF very convenient, FF a real faff - I would hate to FF in the middle of the night.
BF does ruin the boobs a bit.
BF is healthier for the baby, but probably only just. If you factor in class/income it's not as if there are 2 groups of children walking round - the healthy super clever BF and the ill stupid FF!!
BF does help bond with baby, but don't think that means you can't bond if you FF.
BF does involve more physical pain and angst about how much they're getting, how much milk you have etc - but not so bad you can't usually persevere.
BF lobby is a bit OTT sometimes - all that preaching really isn't necessary. Give people the info and let them make up their own minds.
I would still choose to BF every time, but it's not that big a deal if people choose not to.

ChocolateMoose · 03/02/2010 17:43

Having read some of the comments, I then found the article wasn't as extreme as I was expecting. Of course anyone's going to think breastfeeding's no fun if they struggle for a week or two then give up.

Just wanted to say isn't the "angst about how much they're getting, how much milk you have" whizzpop mentions, largely driven by the expectations of formula feeding where food is measured out.

I love bf and find it really sad that so many women don't get proper support or think ff is the normal way to feed a baby. But on the other hand I think I'm pretty healthy and was bottle fed myself.

roslily · 03/02/2010 20:22

I realise that BF in public is possible, but my son never latched on without screaming and pullling off.

I totally agree with BF, wish i could have done it. Just wish i didn't get nasty comments about bottle feeding when out and about.

confusedfirsttimemum · 04/02/2010 08:02

Rosily - it' just as dreadful if you get snidy comments about bottle feeding. No one has the right to judge another woman's choice (or non-choice because of problems with the preferred choice) of feeding method. That's kind of why so many people got upset by this article...

Belgrano · 06/02/2010 13:48

Blooming heck.
The woman is clearly disturbed about her experience.
But hell, isn't it a shame she gets to write about it where so many people will read it. I know this will be quoted at me by anti bf relatives (eg my mum!) in the future as part of a 'I don't know why you're bothering, look, its been proved now that its no better to bf than ff. Bottles are so much easier...yada yada...' type conversation. Bloody woman providing ammunition and doing nothing to help the cause of bf. Makes me so angry. Would like to see a head to head between her and Gabrielle Palmer!

Mumcentreplus · 06/02/2010 14:12

'Just wish i didn't get nasty comments about bottle feeding when out and about' people came up to you and said nasty comments about bottle feeding?...what were you feeding your child coca-cola? ...what did they say?..(curious)

A woman was asked to leave a local tea-house where I live because she was breast-feeding cant see that happening with a bottle fed child

Personally I loved breast feeding..and i did it everywhere because I was demand feeding..what I really objected to was being asked once to feed my child in the fucking toilets!...I said would you take your dinner into the toilets and eat it?...no more was said..

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