Thanks everyone for the input and support. I have been trying some things, looking at what is going on with them when they feed and with my supply. The conclusion I have come to is that I believe they need to be properly checked for tongue tie and someone needs to check the latch and watch me feed. I don't feel it is acceptable to say they are coming to weigh them weekly and give a weight target without being willing to investigate the feeding at all.
The truth, I believe (now I have calmed down), is the Health Visitor has decided that the babies are being benignly neglected by me because I am not coping with balancing the needs of 4 children. I think this is why she feels SS is appropriate and I can't see why she would suggest it as a plan unless this was what she had decided. I am perfectly willing to accept this as the reason and take responsibility for it and top up if that is what is found through investigating the feeding with someone who knows. Basically that is what I have been saying to them all along but perhaps I have been so upset and shocked because I have been told all along that I was concerned unnecessarily and in the space of 2 days been told they are failing to thrive and need formula or SS will need to be called - that I haven't made my points clearly enough.
She has never actually made any suggestions or investigations into the feeding, she doesn't know that I have difficult nipples, that the babies are slow ineffective feeders, that they find latching very difficult, that if I don't use a shield feeding gives me red soreish nipples and that they make clicking noises when they feed, that none of the problems they have with feeding change whether I feed them together or separately or at different times of the day. I did ask about tongue tie weeks ago and was told it shouldn't affect breastfeeding, it has never been investigated. It just seems to me, based on what I am looking at with the babies, what has happened and what is happening now, to be caused by a feeding problem which I feel may be a minor anatomical difference which is affecting their ability to feed. I feel it is reasonable to expect the Health Visitor to have watched me latch/feed and to have investigated when they are feeding and for how long at the very basic minimum before deciding I am not coping and need SS.
I have been speaking with a lactation consultant from Nursing Matters and am waiting to hear what she says having given her a load of info. I believe I will do as she suggests (even if it is to supplement) because I have given her written details of all of the problems we have had and their feeding/weight gain patterns. I did this before I decided I felt there was an anatomical problem so I'm not worried about having swayed the info I have given her.
As it stands the babies are borderline and need keeping an eye on, I feel (as they do). I think I am going to go back to the doctor and try and get him to be completely honest with me about the Health Visitor's reasons and convince him that it has not been handled correctly. Basically at every stage when I have expressed a concern I have been told things were normal because they were not looking at the big picture. That I feel until 8 weeks DT1 was really struggling and before then is when the Health Visitor should have been looking at the feeding with me but she was saying everything is normal and having her xmas holidays. I just think it is absolutely mad that the only suggestions she has made are to get someone else to take over things with the older two (I had already been doing the things she suggested since before the DTs were born but she had never asked until I told her on Thursday) and that she has never, and in fact no-one has, looked at the latch or the feeding. We have even been admitted overnight to the paeds ward and no-one watched me latch or feed there. They also missed that DT1 was struggling.
I just think the Health Visitor is being incompetent and judgemental and has told the doctor that I am struggling to care for them which is why they are not gaining weight and he hasn't realised that she hasn't investigated the feeding. I am going to see if anyone can visit to weigh the babies on the day she was supposed to come (if not I'll take them to clinic) and ask that I be transferred to a different Health Visitor who is breastfeeding friendly competent.
Think this sounds a good way forward while I'm waiting to hear what to do from the lactation consultant?
Agree, having thought about it, that I doubt SS would appreciate being bothered (by me panicking) about something stupid like this especially when they will all be twitchy over the Edlington case.