Breastfeeding drop ins/support groups - a few questions.

[BertieBotts]

1. Do you use them?

2a. If not, why not? 2b. If you do, how did you find out about your local one(s)?

1. And finally, what do/would you like to use one for? Just if you have problems/questions, or as a general baby/toddler group?
2. Any other thoughts?

There is a breastfeeding drop-in locally and it is not very well used, the organisers are after some feedback, I thought I would do a quick survey and report back. (Am doing peer support training hopefully in next few months so am semi-involved atm)

Thanks for any help

1. yes

2b. HV and midwife told me about it, plus did nct class and was told about it then

1. I use ours as a socialising thing, but also for support - especially useful in the early days! I go with a friend, and we're now the seasoned veterans
2. I love our support group, the women that run it are amazing. also, ours is generally very well attended

1. went once but not since (problem i had was sorted, and BFing is not so much of a minority activity around these parts as it is in some places - the children's centres & cafes round here provide informal BFing drop ins!)

2b. got a flyer with details of all the local groups when i went to a BFing workshop at the hospital (an extra session on top of the standard antenatal class)

1. i used it because i had a specific problem that i wanted advice on & it was the quickest way of getting that. if i knew of a group that was well attended, i might well go along & use it as a general baby group, as it is i just go to under 1s stay & plays for that.
2. at the one i went to, i was the only person there seeking advice and was outnumbered 5:1 by peer supporters, as a new mum who is a bit shy sometimes it felt a bit daunting - luckily DP was with me else i think it would have been a bit too much! that might be another reason why i haven't been back (not that the peer supporters weren't lovely - they were, and very helpful, it just felt a bit awkward!). i think at this stage, i would be more likely to go along to something that was advertised as a stay & play with BFing support available, rather than a specific BFing support group.

i have used ours but it isn't something i go to regularly. I used to when I had ds2, just for the social aspect

i found out about some of them online, and 1 from a poster in the doctors surgery

i went to start with because i had a problem, but carried on just becuase i made friends there

i think it depends on the area. there are areas where I think they are doomed to fail, for example very low socio-economic areas where people tend to FF more and aren't interested.

All I can say for increasing usage in general woulkd be:

make it toddler friendly. some I have been to are fine for mum with small baby, but there is nowhere for older siblings to play. Some people may really need help, and it's hard to get it when you have a toddler with you as well who wants entertaining.

advertise it well- talk to local press, put up posters in libraries, surgeries, ante-natal units etc etc

Be open! make it look welcoming from the outside (big sign pointing the way for example). make sure you welcome people in and tell them where they can put their pushchair- offer them tea!

1/2. I don't go to mine because it's just for mums and babies and I can't take DS2 who is 4 - agree with poster who said they need to accommodate siblings.

2b. I found out about it from the health visitor

1. I would enjoy going as a chance for support/ to share information. Mums who are confident bfers should be encouraged to go along too to give support to those who need it.

4.I think using it as a general baby/toddler group is not a good idea. The focus should remain on bfing otherwise Mums who don't breastfeed may feel they are being excluded from a local toddler group iyswim.

Exactly the same as arolf, so that saves me typing time The one I go to is fairly informal, and getting expert help there is a bit hit and miss, to be honest, but the group support element is excellent.

I have a local baby cafe. I don't go (well I went once but don't go atm) HV told me about it.

I don't go because it was boring for DD (2.10) and there is a playgroup in the same place, with baby clinic at same time, so I go to that instead. And it starts at 10am which was a struggle tbh, with toddler and newborn

I am planning to start going again soon as DD will be in preschool and I would like to do the peer/mother supporter training.

I also don't go atm because my sister goes to it and I , ahem, prefer to socialise seperately

1. Do you use them?

Have been a couple of times, but not been back.

2a. If not, why not?
I found it very... militant. At one point I went to get some advice on moving DD (8mo) from EBF to 1 bottle a day as I wanted (purely selfishly) a break! I was made to feel that I was awful and making the most bizarre choice in the world. Noone offered me any support whatsoever.

2b. If you do, how did you find out about your local one(s)?
At local Children's Centre which I attend on another day.

1. And finally, what do/would you like to use one for? Just if you have problems/questions, or as a general baby/toddler group?

If it had been more supportive, I'd have used it as a general baby group.

1. Any other thoughts?

I like the idea of it being somewhere general with BF support available. Some mums are desperate to BF but are unable. Why should they be completely excluded from people with similar ideals?

1. Do you use them?

Yes, I found it invaluable, I had problems in beginning and if it weren't for the support I got from the midwives leading the group and the social aspects of the group, I'm not sure I would've continued. Now very happily BF my 9m DD.

2b. If you do, how did you find out about your local one(s)?
Poster on notice board at GP and through midwife.

1. And finally, what do/would you like to use one for? Just if you have problems/questions, or as a general baby/toddler group?

I think its good to have it as a general baby group with BF advice, we have a little singing session at the end and the social aspect for mums and babies is great (I had mild PND and it was good to have the social aspect which drew it away from it being a place where it was all about problems only, if that makes sense!) Having the group focus on positive things, like learning songs and socialising is really good. They also occasionally have a physio drop by and do 'tummy time' sessions, where we look at how we can encourage good mobility in our babies and other activities.

1. Any other thoughts?

I could see it being tricky bringing older children, we are lucky in that our group is at the childrens centre and there are toys to occupy older toddlers too in one part of the room, though admittedly it can;t really accommodate more than 2.

1. Do you use them?
Went to one once when DS was 4 weeks old and I wanted to check his latch. I also had some general questions about BF. I would not go again....

2a. If not, why not?
I wouldn't go again as I found the one I went to a complete waste of time. I sat around for 50 mins waiting to be acknowledged by the staff - given some indication of what to do. Eventually DS started screaming down the house as I figured I shouldn't start feeding him until someone was 'free' so I just had to start as I didn't know how much longer I'd have to wait. Then the lady took one look at the latch and said it was okay and that was it. When I explained that I still had pain nonetheless she kind of shrugged her shoulders and said it looked ok. I peppered her with questions and she didn't answer any of them! Just waffled on about I can't remember what, but I walked away thinking 'what was the point in that'.

2b. If you do, how did you find out about your local one(s)?
Was given the information by the HV at her 10 day visit.

3. And finally, what do/would you like to use one for? Just if you have problems/questions, or as a general baby/toddler group?
I would use for both reasons, but it would need to be made very clear what is going to happen at the sessions and what the focus is. I had no idea what to expect and didn't know what to do once I got there.

4. Any other thoughts?
Nope!

1. no, but would have liked to.

1. Cancelled due to lack of interest in my area Got leaflet from HV with all local groups.

1. Probably just social thing, advice at first might have helped, mostly just struggled on with own research for problems.

1. Not really. Sad that it was abandoned.

i did go to one a few times when my DD was very small, but gave up going after a while as the group had a few drawbacks (in my opinion):

• only a few mums ever went, and it always seemed to be the same few, so seemed a bit 'cliquey' to me

• sometimes I was outnumbered by the women who run the group, which was awkward

• would have preferred it to be bf support AND general baby group, as I didn't do NCT so have no group of mums with same-age babies

• it wasn't unfriendly as such, but not enough was done to make new-comers feel really welcome; this is really important for nervous new mums

The HV told me about it.

1. Yes

2b. Do you know, I can;t actually rmemeber. I suspect my MW told me first, and then the NCT bf class tutor told us again.

1. Both. Got help with my latch, saw MW for dd's second dose of vit K (easier than arranging home visit) and used it as baby group.

1. Tea and biscuits vital, also non-scary non-militant mws/supporters and lots of pram-parking space.

Ours has moved from a church hall to the local children's centre and has actually gone downhill because of it IMO - smaller space (used to have one big room plus a smaller screened area with sofas for really getting your norks out), less car parking, fewer loos, less good kitchen facilities etc. But it is more sibling friendly.

As a veteran of 3 babies and some bf problems that were very distressing at the time:

1. Do you use them?

#### Yes - but very selectively

2a. If not, why not?

I tried one with Dd1 that didn't suit us at all. It was a bit of a bf social group (in particular lots of extended breastfeeders). It seemed lovely for the regulars - and I can kind of see the logic - however, when I was struggling to bf teeny tiny shrinking Dd for days it was intimidating and demoralising to have endless people come and tell me about how they'd fed their kids for years. And I didn;t like toddlers running around my pfb poking her.

I went to one with Dh, which was pretty useful at the time, but I never went back without DH, because I didn;t fancy going on my own to wave my boobs around strange men.

I loved loved loved La Leche league group, because they were well controlled (IME) by the group leader. Almost a bit cultish about how she used the same form of words every meeting about 'every mothers instinct, no judgement etc etc). However (see point 1 above) I felt much more protected against some insensitive ignoramus(es) endlessly patronising me along the lines of 'it'll be ok if you only try hard enough'. There were also books and stuff around to research more specialist problems.

I also did a couple which were basically baby groups with occasional bf counsellor dropping in. My attendance at these was driven by:

• how well I gelled with the people,
• (later on) the extent to which I could attend with all kids (best ones had separate play corner for toddlers so that I could feed in peace without needing to micromanage my older child around babies)
• nice coffee. and nice snacks. but mainly coffee
• parking
• proximity to my house
• i went to one specifically when i wanted my baby weighed; I went to others specifically to avoid having my baby weighed - depending on how I felt
• I preferred morning groups.

2b. If you do, how did you find out about your local one(s)?

• HV, friends, small ads, signs in GPs, phoning helplines,

1. And finally, what do/would you like to use one for? Just if you have problems/questions, or as a general baby/toddler group?

see above! i like a mix of both, so that I feel i can attend even without a specific problem

1. Any other thoughts?

1. I did. I had lots of problems feeding DS and needed help.

2b. HV told me.

1. I used it because I had problems, but I met some really nice people there and it became a social thing. I was sad to leave when I stopped breastfeeding DS. It was one of the very first places that I went out to as it was a "safe" place, i.e. if DS cried I knew that no one would mind, and I knew I could feed him without anyone batting an eyelid if I flashed a bit of boob or whatever.

1. Friendliness is so important! The first time I went, I was met at the door and shown where to put the buggy and was sat down and given a cup of tea. The helpers were also really good at introducing you to people if you looked a bit lost!

BtF - love the name! Conchords?

'Feeling safe' is crucial.

The one that went badly for me - I cried my eyes out the rest of the day. They weren't 'horrible' - I was just really really vulnerable.

1. Do you use them?

I did when DS first born. But only after 2 weeks of strugging, getting depressed about inability to do it, being told to top up with formula, pain etc etc WHY didn't I go sooner??? (actually.. because I didn't really know what they were)

2a. If not, why not?
Don't go now, although still BFing DS 11 months later. Just felt a bit akward going once I didn't have a 'problem'. Seemed a bit cliquey, and was unsure what to 'do'.

Absolutely invaluable in the early days, though. Peer supporters were absolute saints. Definitely wouldn'\t have succeeded in BFing without it.

2b. If you do, how did you find out about your local one(s)?
Found out about it after desperate phonecall to NCT teacher when I'd been told to top-up.

1. And finally, what do/would you like to use one for? Just if you have problems/questions, or as a general baby/toddler group?

Unsure. And I think the group was unsure too.... (if that makes sense)

1. Any other thoughts?

PLEEEEASE don't let them disappear!! (general plea to no one in particular!) got me through a really difficult time.

(and thanks to all those saintly peer supporters, too )

Kif - yep!

I haven't beeen to ours

Its in the local bus station building - nice. and someone who had once been told me it was just mums, no-one offical so to speak and they just sat round gossiping. So it kinda put me off.

My HV told me about it and I was given a list of weigh in clinics / toddler groups which had it on but HV1 and HV2 told me it was on at two diff times so I was never sure when it was actually on.

I have had a pretty rough time of BF with mastitis, blocked ducts, engorgement etc so it would have been good to have a support group or someone to check my latch cos despite regular calls to HV nobody has ever checked my latch not even in hospital. I have only had 1 phone call from a BF nurse. There is a lot of hype about how much support there is for BF but when it comes down to it, it is very poor really.

yes-have been going to one since DS was 5 weeks old (now 9.5months). This despite me thinking, before he was born that I wasn't in to "that sort of thing". Midwife pointed out that NO-ONE thinks they're into that type of thing.
I think the midwife recommended it for the social support, as I didn't really have any problems with BF once I'd got past the switch feeding, building my supply up bit. The midwives bring their scales every week, for people to weigh their babies, which as an inexperienced Mum really was like hell for me every week as it seemed to be the thing to do, and DS was a SLOW gainer. Took ages for me to have the confidence to not bother with this. It's been fantastic socially. The BF support is very very informal, but interestingly, all my friends there (six of us) started off planning to do 6 months and we are all apart from one (who just stopped), still BF and most are planning to continue to two years. It would seem that the research finding that seeing people BF is the most helpful way of encouraging BF would seem to be true!
There are bottle feeders at our group, as I assume these are people who tried and stopped but enjoyed the social aspect.

sorry I haven't answered the questions separately-too much organisation involved...

1. Do you use them?

Not any more but did until DD was about 12 months or just over. Stopped going really because most of the people I knew stopped going (I think they mainly stopped bfing at 12 months or just before).

2a. If not, why not?

I didn't for a while because I assumed it was just for people having problems but after asking on MN learned they could be a social thing too, so tried it and liked it But if I'd never asked then I probably wouldn't have gone.

2b. If you do, how did you find out about your local one(s)?

One I went to was at our local Surestart which I used lots when DD was little.

1. And finally, what do/would you like to use one for? Just if you have problems/questions, or as a general baby/toddler group?

Ours was really a bfing-friendly baby group. I probably wouldn't have kept going if it was just for people having problems.

1. Any other thoughts?

Having a baby has stolen nearly all my thoughts, so that'll be a no