24 week old feeding all night and barely in day

[marram]

Anyone else had this? HV says to just not feed in the night but dd screams for feed and is so upset. I only last a few mins tops before giving in. Even if I get her to feed better in day for a few days and I think it can be sorted she just reverts within a few days. Any more gentle ideas?

That sort of sounds like she might have her day and night mixed up (or at least skewed). Although normally that sorts itself by 24 weeks.

Our DS was a bit mixed up for the first few weeks but soon sorted himself within the first month.

We were advised to make sure daytime sleeps were not in a fully darkened room, but there was some light around (not so easy on these dark days). Also to have more noise during the day (leave a radio, cd on).

All very well for Health Visitors to say not to feed at night when your baby is yelling! My DS slept wonderfully by 5 months but then started waking more and more and more and only feeding would make him feel better. Now, at 8 months, he's just got his two first teeth simultaneously and has started sleeping better already. So it might be teething. Really hope your little one starts sleeping better earlier than my monkey though, we've had such a tough three months. I'd be surprised if your baby didn't know the difference between night and day by now. Have you started solids yet? That can make milk feeding go a bit wonky by day even if they're not taking much yet. Hope things get better v soon

did she do it from day 1, or is it a recent phenomenon?

ds did this at about 22 weeks iirc. It took two weeks to get him out of it by "stealth" feeding him during the day - just as he went off to sleep and/or woke up, from his naps. Had this advice from a LaLeche League consultant.

hth, sure someone more useful will be along shortly...

Hi, thanks, I am leaving blind open for day naps and there is lots of noise because I have a 3 year old. I do think she is teething and has been for quite a few weeks even though no teeth have appeared yet. She is having some solids though doesn't take much. Thanks for the reassurance that it does pass. Just so tired and starting to feel down and that I have made a mess of this, no routine whatsoever despite best intentions!

she has been a bit like this since day 1 and I have kept thinking that it will sort itself out but hasn't yet. I have just fed her to sleep now and she took a reasonable bit but she has had nothing since 4am. Problem is she is not able to put herself to sleep which is perpetuating the problem in the middle of the night. . .

Aha - you have a 3 year old... That reveals the answer to me... Baby is wanting quality time with mum and can only get it at night so that's why feeds at night. Then she can go for nice long snuggly/uninterrupted/leisurly feeds.
As long as you're not getting too knackered then I'd ride with it. when Baby doesn't need that any more she'll switch round. and if you are getting tired have you tried co-sleeping and/or feeding lying down so you can doze as baby feeds?

Also I always thought that my DS couldn't put himself to sleep. He's been fed to sleep and back to sleep every night, he's now 17mo. But recently he's been putting himself back to sleep without milk and is starting to feed a bit then roll off and put himself to sleep without sucking. Your baby can do it but is choosing not to do it as it's nice feeding to sleep - as they grow up they transition away from doing it of their own accord.

if it's any consolation, 8m dd did it for a bit over Xmas - just refused day feeds straight out (nipping me to make her point!) - though she sorted herself out of that. She doesn't get much of a routine either, and she still feeds at 11pm, anywhere between 2-4, around 5, and around 7. am, that is. So you're not alone...

Ah, thanks nicky. Yes, trying co-sleeping and feeding lying down. The lying down is giving me a crick in neck and only works on right side but co-sleeping is getting me a wee bit more rest I think. Had started to wonder whether we were starting to disturb her in the night and hence she is waking so much. Every 2 hours the last few nights. My 3 year old is very demanding and I have been trying to sneak off to offer breast to dd2 somewhere quiet from time to time. DD2 bright and sparky and bothered by nose! Am rubbish with not enough sleep, get depressed hence needing something to sort this out soon.

oh phd that is pants too.

yeah I do know how you feel marram!

dd is also rubbish with any possibility ds (2.9) might turn up - unless he's asleep or the Pil's are here, the only way I can keep him from disturbing her (ie, breathing!) is to turn the tv on when I want to sneak off. fortunately this is usually when playschool is on so it's ok.

mind you, HE fed every two hours for MONTHS so maybe it just runs in my family

why, if you don't mind me asking, does lying down feeding only work on one side?

My 6mo is the same marram. I also have a 2.5yo, nickymorris' idea is interesting.

Thinking about it though, when she wakes at night (2, 3 or 4 times between 11 and 6 and has always been like this) she isn't taking much food. i think she hasn't learnt to self-settle as i have always fed her to half-asleep.

Am going to change bedtime routine so that feed isn't last thing and see how she gets on with that. I'm hoping if she can learn to go to sleep with feed, maybe she will be able to settle at night.

The other thing about having a toddler is that I'm sure I rush in far quicker when she makes a noise than with DD1, as I'm worried about her waking DD1. So unlike DD1 I have never waited a couple of mins to see if she goes back to sleep by herself.

hi, just had chance to come back on. phd - had latch probs on left side when lying down, got terrible blockage just bef xmas. Also worry about safety when she is in between dh and me.

Imsonottellinng - i think the answer may lie somewhere between your idea of not learning to settle herself (have been rushing in for fear of waking toddler) and nickymorris's idea of the toddler distracting during day, though she has never fed well through the morning. I had her settling herself in the day in her cot for about 10 days before xmas and it suddenly stopped. No idea why. I know that she is starting to get upset when a stranger cuddles her even in sight of me now, so separation anxiety starting?

Even worse last night, every 1.5 hours. I tried not to let her have too much to see if she would feed more in the day. She has had one brief feed today so far.....

Sounds like separation anxiety starting to warm up...

I read my "what to expect" book the other night with all the various methods and ideas.

With DD1 we did putting her to sleep when she looked tired - when she seemed tired or rubbed her eyes I'd whip her up. She always napped well and slept well at night. We also left her to cry for longer not ages or anything. Though I suspect it was just luck...

DD2 is starting to get teh hang of solids, and last night she only woke twice between 11 and 6 which is brilliant. It was just the once though so too soon to say anythign else. Also put her in her bed awake last night and she went off to sleep fine.

Going to keep at it with the new routine, and when DH next has some time off will try sending him in at night (see if he can settle her without a feed). Doing that worked with DD1, after 2 nights of DH going in she stopped waking at night. But like I say I suspect we were just very lucky with DD1.

Will you be starting your DD on solids soon?

Waking twice between 11 and 6 is still every 2 or 3 hours though isn't it, and that's a really good night no wonder I'm knackered.

Yes, still quite a lot ImSo! We also had some success with DD1 for a while if I caught her at the first yawn she would go straight off, but I am sure that wasnt until she was a little older. DD2 just goes mad as soon as we go in the room with the cot. Going to keep plugging away with trying to put her down awake and will change the bedtime routine so that she is fed and put down awake. Fingers crossed we both have a better night tonight.

DD has just started on solids. Been doing a little BLW (a little early but she seems ready!) and some mush. She isn't eating much so far and just likes to hold the spoon. She is very keen and cries if there is a family meal underway and she hasn't got hers yet!

Things seem to improve sometimes when they start eating properly - although not always. DD2 had her good night last night after eating a whole banana! (mashed up)

She had another good supper tonight so fingers crossed.

She seems to be sleeping a bit better now we are closing the door more so it's darker in her room.

She also has a cloth book she likes to put over her head before she goes to sleep Does your DD have many toys in her cot? Is she sitting /moving around/is she sleeping in a growbag type thing or blankets?

fingers crossed for tonight!

They are so cute aren't they? That book on the head is funny.

She sort of likes to sook on something like a muslin cloth or a blanky or a wee dog she has but I am slightly paranoid still. I watched her stuff a load of the muslin right in her mouth the other day so decided not to let her have that when I wasn't there. She tries very hard to suck her thumb but it just doesn't seem to cut it so she gives up. Tried a dummy but not much cop.

She is in a sleeping bag to sleep but can sit up well and loves to play with her toys. She gets quite grumpy in the morning if we don't turn the light on quickly and let her sit up to play (we are not pleased because it is invariably some ungodly hour like 5.20!).

Have a good night. Off now to get a half hour sit down before the palaver starts!

She was up 2 mins after I sat down. Fed her again because she was crying very angrily and I thought she might be hungry after eating v little all day. She fell asleep after about 4 mins so, in unprecendented move, I woke her up. She was not pleased. Tried to put in cot, went mad, eventually got her to sleep half in cot half in my arms. Hmmm.

Really starting to think that maybe she suddenly decided that feeding to sleep is where its at and hence cries hard when she doesn't get what she wants. Also probably explains frequent waking. Need a strategy to get her to go to sleep without feeding now.

There she goes again.....

Wasn't too bad last night, she normally goes down at 6 (!) and she woke at 10.00, 1.00 and 4. A big improvement from every hour and a half but still not perfect!

Things have improved a lot and I'm trying to think what has changed.

Starting to get the hang of eating is a big one.
Putting the book in her bed that she likes to play with and put on her head.
Closing teh door almost completely so it's darker.
Um...

DD1 had a small rabbit that she chewed the ears of at this age. She could also sit and crawl and stuff so I took her out of the grobag as it was getting on her nerves.

Do you have a toy that she likes to suck that you would be OK to put in the cot with her? With DD1s rabbit I know when she woke in the night she reached for her rabbit rather than my breast in the end.

It's all trial and error isn;t it really.

How was last night?

Hi, we would have had a better night had it not been for me trying to get DD2 to sleep without rocking or feeding her early evening. She cried a lot and then DD1 got upset and was up crying for 2 hours!!! Crikey. Anyway, the positive was we only fed 12.30 and 4am. Until bed time she only had 1 proper feed today, boobs like watermelons! The wee monkey came off the breast tonight herself at bedtime, burped and then I put her down, turned out the light and I just had to go back in and give her another wee pat a few mins later.

Funny you say that about the sleeping bag. I have swapped her to a larger size and things were better last night. Interesting.....Trial and error as you say.

Fingers crossed for tonight for us both.

Well DD2 has a cold and hasn't taken much in the way of solids, hasn't napped all day and has been v miserable. So I'm not expecting a great night...

12.30 and 4 is a huge improvement isn't it, hope it all goes well tonight as well...

I find that I am more or less OK on two wakings, more than that and it's just awful.