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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

daycare worker sued for breastfeeding client's baby

74 replies

jasper · 10/06/2003 22:32

Did anyone else hear this incredible news story ?
It was featured on Radio Scotland's teatime news bulletin tonight (must have been a slow news day)

What do you all think?

OP posts:
codswallop · 11/06/2003 21:36

why was your baby not in the ward with you?

Ghosty · 11/06/2003 21:36

I still stand by the 'lack of consent' ... I no problem with people feeding others' babies if permission is granted but I would go totally off the deep end if someone breastfed MY baby without MY consent ... To me it is just NOT on ... sorry it just goes over the boundary of what is acceptable to me. If a care worker of my child couldn't calm him down I would expect her to call me and ask me what to do ... I would give suggestions and then probably come to pick up my child ... (In fact I have done that before).
I don't think the care worker should be jailed though ... but her license for working with children should possibly be reconsidered ... That's my opinion anyway ...

Ghosty · 11/06/2003 21:39

Mamaoffive ... I didn't see your post ... I am not surprised your were traumatised ... I would have been too ... It really bad of the hospital to have made such a mistake. Like codswallop asked ... why wasn't your baby in with you anyway??

pie · 11/06/2003 21:39

I don't know if it makes a difference to anyone's opinion, but the woman who breastfed was NOT a worker at the day care centre, she was another mother (a lawyer who worked next door) who decided to 'help out' (as she puts it). She later brought the day care centre, which was later closed down after it had emerged what had happened.

pie · 11/06/2003 21:40

Sorry I also meant to point out that from what I have read she brought the centre, but never ran it, being a lawyer by training not a professional child carer.

SoupDragon · 11/06/2003 21:41

Ghosty/Coddy, Mamaof5 could be in the US where I think they put babies in a "nursery".

codswallop · 11/06/2003 21:43

Oh!

the americans always sue everyone for everyting.. but I cant see that anyone is going to win in this sit.

MAMAOFFIVE · 11/06/2003 22:00

The hospital I was in (in US) takes your baby at night and brings it to you just for feeding times during the night. This was at 3:30am. They don't allow the baby to stay. All babies are delivered to the mothers for the day in the morning around 6am.

MAMAOFFIVE · 11/06/2003 22:03

The hospital I was in (in US) takes your baby at night and brings it to you just for feeding times during the night. This was at 3:30am. They don't allow the baby to stay. All babies are delivered to the mothers for the day in the morning around 6am.

mammya · 11/06/2003 22:50

I agree with most of the other opinions here, in that it's the lack of consent that might pose a problem, but I don't think she did anything wrong or that she should go to prison. I also think saying that she should never be allowed to work with children again is OTT.

mammya · 11/06/2003 22:56

mamaoffive, didn't see your post, sorry you had to go through this, i understand why you're so upset and angry.

wickedstepmother · 11/06/2003 22:56

The lack of consent is a problem. I think that the woman in question pushed the boundaries to the extreme. I would be very angry and upset if someone breastfed my daughter without my consent. I feel that breastfeeding is an intimate act between mother and child which is more about bonding than it is about nourishment, I would never have wanted to feel like someone was trying to 'steal' that special moment that only myself and my child share, especially a stranger.

aloha · 11/06/2003 23:04

Hmmm...I think it's odd and peculiar, but not evil. I would be astounded and probably horrified if someone did it to my child. I suppose it depends a bit on the motive... but still I wouldn't like it. Again, it's the lack of consent that I wouldn't like. However, I find the charge - "outraging public decency and morals' absolutely shocking as it seems to imply there is something disgusting and indecent about breastfeeding per se. This is not a crime, IMO.

aloha · 11/06/2003 23:05

For me, breast feeding is exactly that though, feeding.

aloha · 11/06/2003 23:07

Actually, I am starting to question just why I would feel so very uncomfortable...

ScummyMummy · 11/06/2003 23:11

I think I'd have been jealous if someone else had breastfed mine. Hopefully not so jealous that I'd want the other woman in jail though!

October · 11/06/2003 23:31

Message withdrawn

bloss · 12/06/2003 01:27

Message withdrawn

winnie1 · 12/06/2003 08:47

Scummymummy I am with you here... it's an issue of consent. Can I ask how would people feel if their toddler was fed without there consent when hungry?

tiktok · 12/06/2003 09:47

I knew a mother who was expressing for her baby in special care. By mistake, her expressed breastmilk was given to another baby, and this meant her own baby had no ebm when it came to feeding time and had to be given formula. When the mother came into the scbu she was told all this and she went ballistic - and rightly so. But it was a human error. As I recall, she made a formal complaint.

Babies in scbu can't always be with their mothers, but there is no reason for the common practice in US hospitals for healthy, term babies being separated - this is one area where we do things better in the UK! There are many reasons why babies and mothers should be together and feeding the right baby is just one of them.

Yes, I have 'done it' - fed a friend's baby in an emergency and I didn't let her know first (not possible) but she was fine about it. I would have expected her to do the same for me, if she had to.

But it is a big deal in our culture where it's hardly ever done. People have a right to feel what they feel about the exclusivity of it, and given the circumstances, women should be able to consent to it first. It is a great way women can support each other and help each other out - and on one level it's no different from giving a baby a bottle of formula, which most people wouldn't mind. I wish it was done more often, to be honest, and thought of as normal.

outofpractice · 12/06/2003 09:48

I just don't think that breastfeeding is that intimate, and I don't think it is relevant to ask the question how would we feel if a man had been that intimate with a baby, because it is a unique thing that only women with milk can do. I think it is more like giving the baby a cuddle. There are no parents in nursery that I would object to giving my son a hug and kiss if he was upset. If I thought that the other woman was infectious I would be angry, but as a one-off, how high could the risk be, especially when she was still feeding her own baby, which women with serious infections are not supposed to do? I would have asked her not to do it again, but I would have understood why she did it. We are strict vegetarians, and if someone gave my son meat we would all feel really disgusted and polluted. However, if it was a one-off from someone who had meant well, I would not try and prosecute her!

aloha · 12/06/2003 10:49

If it happened I'd be startled, I'd certainly ask for it not to happen again.. but a legal prosecution? For outrageing public morals? I fail to see how that could be defended. I don't think anyone should have a criminal record for feeding a baby, no matter how misguided they were.

Boe · 12/06/2003 13:24

This whole thing just makes me feel uncomfortable. I would be really upset if someone else had ever breastfed my daughter - to me it is not th being given someone else's milk issue (although infectious diseases are of course an issue!)

I think breastfeeding is the most beautiful, personal thing that can happen between a mother and baby and I just think that the lady who did it sort of violated the other woman's bond with ther child (not sure if bond is the right word here!). I also think I would be truely grossed out if someone asked me to breastfeed their child or ofered to feed mine!!

Have no problem with you guys who breastfed other children or whose children were breastfed by other women - just is my personal feelings about this.

Do think she should have actually known better being a lawyer though!! In the States of all places!!

sjs · 12/06/2003 14:42

This is such an interesting debate. I would have been very upset and angry if this ever happened to my child. I never saw bf as a solely functional act of feeding. To me it was an act of love, bonding, etc. It's nuturing not just feeding (I think). It is intimate and I would be very uncomfortable with another mother doing that.

I also think that the mother must have had expectations and reached some form of agreement with the childcare centre which was over-ruled. If she left her child there, I imagine she was the one who left the bottle and therefore fully expected them to use it.

I question the motives of the woman who did the feeding and her judgement.

That said, I think I agree that she shouldn't go to jail, but would probably think she should lose any licence to take care of children. (Because of health issues, poor judgement, lack of policies etc)

aloha · 12/06/2003 14:47

The motives seem pretty simple - she was feeding her own child and the other child was crying... I agree the judgement was off. But really, a crime? Surely not.