Every feed a nightmare - what am I doing wrong?

[melonian]

Having real problems BFing DD 11 weeks. If she is drowsy she feeds ok, but in the daytime it is awful. She gags when I try & latch her on, and the only way I can get her latched is to walk around with her & jiggle her up and down. Then when I get letdown she chokes and gasps and it all goes totally wrong. If I try to sit down during the feed she cries and unlatches straightaway. She gets wind after about 3 min max and then flatly refuses to go back on at all.

I think I have a strong letdown and prob oversupply, and am trying block feeding but it seems to make it worse as my breast is engorged by the time she's due to feed from it. I try and express before feeding but it's so hard as I have a toddler and like to be out & about. At the moment if I want to feed her out I usually have to do it in a toilet with DS running around my feet. She has now started crying and punching every time she sees the breast and basically I feel like I'm torturing her with it. Could I formula feed in the day and BF at night or does that not work? There's no way I could express all feeds for her with my toddler to deal with. Has anyone had any experience or advice? I have kept saying I'll give it 1 more week but it's just not getting better and I don't think it's doing either of us any good. TIA

hmm it does sound a lot like over-active letdown, which should get better as she gets bigger.

some good advice from kellymom

This won't be the most popular answer, but have you tried using a nipple shield? I had huge problems with overactive supply with DD1 (less so with DD2 as she was/is a bigger and better feeder), and used a shield for 4 months or so until she could cope. It had got to the point, as you say, where she hated feeding, so seemed like the best solution as it helped to slow things down.

Lots of reasons not to use, eg possible reduction in supply etc, so research it before you do try...

I also found when it got to the point where DD1 was fighting with me over feeds, that it was really important to do feeds in a quiet, calm place and put no pressure on her at all and follow her lead. Easier said than done with a toddler I know...

Lying down could work? I often have the same problem with my 16 week old. Same thing, it's harder in the daytime. And all the jiggling and changing positions stresses my daughter out until she won't eat at all. BUT I've now found that lying down works for us, and I use a dummy to calm her whenever she gets stressed coming off during the feed. Weirly the calmer I am the less she seems to stress. So I try to make it an opportunity to calm myself too. Lie on your side with your arm extended at a right angle to your body and feed her like that. This page has a fairly good illustration.
www.fairview.org/healthlibrary/content/feedposi.gif

It took me a few goes and being very patient but it worked in the end. I wouldn't formula feed her if I were you. I don't think it's as nice/ healthy for them. But that's my preference, I know a lot of people don't mind it.

I forgot to say that lying down can slow the milk down a lot too! Let down is not so ferocious this way.

E1, yes, your post reminded me of our la leche league leader saying the same thing.

the more reclined you are, the more uphill the milk has to go to get out! so can lessen the flow a little

Its a very restful way of feeding too.

Yes Lying down certainly saved me from a lot of messing. That's one thing I've worked out is that my daughter hates messing. So the less fuss involved the better she feeds.

Sometimes she just wants me to take my hands off her so that she can feed in peace. And lying down is perfect for this.

I guess it could be tricky with another child around. But perhaps you could make it a game or read the other child a story at the same time?

Good luck.

i had really bad oversupply and had to block feed for 6 hours on one side - but after a couple of days of that it did calm down. I remember at 12 weeks it was really hard work but it did settle soon after. i found that feeding little and often really helped. also had some great help from la leche by email. good luck!

Sorry to be so dense, but what is block feeding?

I presume block feeding is where you feed on one side for a number of feeds. I had to do this, feed on one side for a feed and then feed on the same side for another feed in a few hours.

I always put the baby on the breast and tried to recline or fed on the bed - put the baby onto the breast lower down or ontop so it is harder for the baby to feed. It means that the baby has to work harder and not gag so much.

If you express too much on this breast - you might find that the breast will produce more milk and will not solve the problem. You could express for a little bit - by hand and then put the baby and see if it is easier for them.

Thankyou all very much for your helpful advice. I will try some lying down feeds, but like I say, at the moment the only "position" she will tolerate is me standing up and jiggling around. Felt like a total weirdo at toddlers today - so much for discreet feeding! Also she gags even before the milk comes, when I am trying to latch her on, do some babies have an exaggerated gag reflex or something?

My nipples are getting really sore again lately, and I don't think her latch is that great, but I've been to one BF group and the HV was no expert to say the least, and can't get out at the moment due to the snow. I've decided to give it 2 more weeks and then reluctantly stop if things are no better. I'll feel so guilty though. Might try nipple shields if we get to that stage.

Thanks again for your help

melonian I have been having the exact same problem with my DS for weeks now. Every feed is in a dim room with me lying down! So much for BF being convenient.

I was searching MN to see if anyone had a solution and wondered how you had got on?

My baby was Tongue tied- I had a nightmare with breastfeeding for weeks it got to point that I cried nearly everytime I had to do it. I spoke to about 6 midwives and a couple of doctors and they all said it gets easier and it didn't. After a nightmare night of breastfeeding my baby swallowed my blood from sucking so hard and in the end I spoke to one last midwife at the hospital and she said he was Tongue tied, out of so many people she was the only one to suggest this. So I took him to get it sorted and now it's going brilliantly I just wished someone could have told me in the first week. Just to let u know it's a simple snip under the tongue and he didn't even cry.

Sorry meant to say that after the little snip my baby had, he could then control how much milk he had and didn't suck so hard like before. The midwife said something about the way they position their Tongue and move it under ur nipple which helps them To get the right amount of milk not to much and not to little. Also when I took him to get it done there was lots of other babies and they seem to think that 1 in 5 babies have tongue tied.

Hi london can you take some paracetomel to bring the fever down and get the twins feeding a bit more off the right hand side? Also in the shower, run a hot comb over the boob towards the nipple.

If you dont feel better in 24 hours - see the GP!

My problem is that DS doesn't like the flow of my milk - it's too fast, hence the choking and pulling off.Also gives him terrible wind.

The only thing that really helps is block feeding - use the same boob in a 4 hour window instead of switching. But as you're feeding twins (hat off to you!) I don't know how you can do that.

London you need to put the babies on the bad boob! They'll do a better job of clearing the boob than expressing. I've had this and it took 8 hours of two hourly feeds, hot compresses before feeds and cold compresses between plus combing...