If you are breastfeeding a 20 month old (or can remember a time when you were) how often does s/he feed?

[MaMight]

I don't know how helpful it is to compare, but I really wish ds would start to slow down on the bfing a bit. He wants to bf all the time. Two or three big feeds and 6+ small feeds a day would be typical. Last night he woke to feed 6 times. He has a cold at the moment so maybe it's that. He wants to bf every time I walk in the room, and every time he sits on my knee. If I am not very careful he would happily breastfeed and then not want to eat food (though he happily eats food when hungry, and a good range of things)

Am wondering if I should start to set boundaries? Am wondering how I would do this. He rages furiously if I say no.

Am wondering if he will start to slow down of his own accord?

Am wondering if anyone is in the same boat?

I fed dd for quite a long time too, but with her it was a quick bit of sustenance or comfort and then hop off my lap to continue her bid to take over the world . Ds though just lurrrrrrrves his milkies so much - he sings songs about milkies , and carefully decides which boob he wants (and then swaps "uvver one mum") and I wish he'd get a hobby or something!

People have started to comment (twice in the last couple of weeks) that ds is such a happy, cheerful, friendly, contented little boy when I am not there, but so whingy and clingy when I am there and I know a huge part of it is that as soon as he sees me he wants milkies and mythers and whinges until I give in.

How often do (or did) your 20 month old breastfeed?

That comes across as rather negative towards ds. I didn't mean it to. I love every ounce of him to the moon and back, and adore my snuggly little mummy's boy really. I just want to make our relationship from his point of view about something other than milkies sometimes.

don't have any advice MaMight, but want to ask you if you have recalled the word that has been driving us all insane since you posted this?

we need to know!!

You think it's been driving you insane?

I have been driving my entire family insane with this all Christmas.

Everyone agrees that there was definitely a word, but no one can remember it.

My poor mum was even dreaming about it and woke up all thrilled to have remembered it only to discover that she hadn't at all.

Sorry for short reply, i'm stuck for time. DD1 was much the same at that age. By the time she turned two she had dropped all but the bedtime feed and the odd middle of the night feed. I would distract her if she looked as though she was going to ask.
We chatted about stopping at 2.5yrs and she happily had her last feed that day.
Best of luck and well done for getting to 20 months.

sorry but LOL at your mum!

Hi MaMight (great name by the way)!

My DS is 16 months old and I have just stoppped bf him. He was having morning and evening feeds but I have always fed him at particular times so it was pretty straightforward.

My friend was in a similar situation to you and wanted to stop at around 22 months (especially at night). Sending DP in to DS at night took a couple of weeks but did work. She was then able to stop altogether when they went away without the kids for the weekend and then just didn't offer again when they came back.

Do you want to stop or just change things a bit?

Cant remember exactly because this was 5 years ago but when stopped bf at 27 months DS was only having a bedtime feed. 1st thing in morning feed stopped c. 18 months ish. All other feeds at 1 year (DS went to nursery and I worked full time).

Mamight,

I find my babies feed far more frequently than any others I know.

My 3.6 year old DD even now has at least three nursing sessions a day and begs for more (at time when she is tired)

I can't count how many nursing sessions my 16 month old DS has atm. I made a decision with him to go with the flow as much as possible and that equals minumum whinging. I do sometimes put him off 5 minutes if I am busy and find raisions can put off a feed for 30 minutes or so.

The fact that your DS is happy and content when you are not there, I think is a reflection of the fact that you meet all his needs including nursing. Have you tried offering a short feed when he requests (if possible) and see if this gets rid of the whingy behaviour ?

whenever she asks for it
but might have to wait 5 or 10 mins if I'm busy

she's 3 next month

probably no waiting went on when she was 20 months lol

Trinity, Off topic, but I noticed your new name (much better than the last one) Hope things are going as well as possible, for you and yours.

Thanks all.

I don't want to stop, I just feel a bit held to ransom by the fact that he asks and I have a choice of either immediately feeding him or feeling his wrath.

Actually today was better because he was wrapped up playing with his sister and didn't come and ask for ages. But then agaoin, no, iot just means he is happily not thinking about bfing when I'm out of sight, out of mind.

Hang on... children needing attention...

My dd was similar at that age. If I stopped moving she lunged. She was extraordinarily attached. And fed A Lot in the night.

I dithered and dallied and wondered what to do and lo and behold, she slowed down of her own accord.

Around 2.2 she stopped asking during the day thought always fed morning and evening and I started gently persuading her that we'd knock the nightime feeds on the head and she agreed. She asks still but I feel able to say no. If she is upset/ill/adamant I do relent as I wouldn't ever want bfing to be a battle area. She's 2.8 now and is happy with morning/evening. Night feeds occasionally if she's ill but it's a world away from how she was at 20 months.

I think I'll stick it out for a while longer and hope he slows down of his own accord.

Good to know others have had this experience.

I will find it much easier I think when he understands a bit more. It's easier when you can explain "No milkies right now because X, but you can have milkies when we have done Y and Z" sort of thing.

DS fed last thing at night, if he woke in the night plus when he woke up when he was 20 months. I decided I wanted to stop BFing him at 21 months so got DP to do the bedtime routine abd night time wake ups for a few weeks.

MaMight - at 20 months, my ds was feeding umpteen times a day, and night. I can't put an exact figure on it, but probably at least a dozen times in 24hrs.

Then, he became intolerent to cows' milk following a tummy bug, so I decided that he could have as much as he wanted both to help the healing, and to make sure he was getting enough calcium etc.

I am sure I read in How Weaning Happens that in the cultures where unrestricted access is allowed until the child self weans, the average request of a child this age is every 80 minutes on average. That reassured me that all was normal with ds, even if I didn't know anyone else who was feeding that often.

He is 4.3yrs now and still asks a lot. He doesn't always get it, but he would if I let him. We are in the midst of chaos at the moment though, I am 33wks pg and have just broken my ankle, so it is unsurprising that he is asking for it more.

At 20 odd months, I seem to recall that I was still pretty much feeding on demand and that a quick feed was like a reset button to make him happy again.

Blimey - six times a night? You have my sympathies. DS is 22 months and sleeps through, so he hasn't woken for milk for a long time (aside from when he's ill). He asks for milk maybe 2 or 3 times a day, and mostly gets it. You're right though, they don't understand 'later' or 'not now, you've only just had breakfast'!

I've just started giving him a bottle of cow's milk in the evenings though, just to see if he could drop off to sleep without a nipple in his mouth. (he can! am cockahoop and amazed, also slightly put out, peversely enough.) They're all different, aren't they?

Forgot to say - what you said about your DS saying 'uvver one mum' reminded me that I tried to teach DS to say 'other one' (rather than just push one boob away while dragging the other out of my top ) and he can't pronounce it - says 'Udder!' every time! He probably wonders why I crease up laughing.

re your lost word - preserves??

ahh sorry - cardinal mn sin #1- should have read the whole word thread not just op I'll creep out now - good luck with the BF

"Udder" is brilliant . And what is with all this switching sides? Pick a side, stick with it, I want to read my book.

Mawbroon, every 80 minutes sounds about right unless there's something more interesting going on. And yes, I don't even know anyone still feeding anything over a 9 month old, and even he seems to feed less often than ds. All the 20 month olds I know are weaned and sleeping through. It makes it harder to guage if what I am doing is right.

MGoblin - does he fall asleep sucking the bottle, or after he's had the bottle?

Good try though seaside.

MaMight - he stays resolutely awake until the bottle's finished (or he's had enough), hands it to me , and then sits up, snuggles against me for a couple of minutes, and then writhes in a way that says he wants to be put down in his cot. Then he rolls over and goes.to.sleep!

Like I said, I'm amazed - this time last week, I was feeding him to sleep on my lap and daren't move him until I knew he was properly asleep. This is all new behaviour.

I fed DS1 til 20 months, but from 13mo on it was just morning and bedtime feeds. I stopped the daytime feeds by distracting with grapes -- his favourite snacks at the time!

No idea about nighttime at that age as I night weaned at 9mo but I do hear Jay Gordon's method mentioned a lot, sure it's Googleable...

Good luck and well done

18 m o here will feed frequently if not much going on, and very little if lots of exciting things happening
i found with ds1 that from about age 2 you could successfully put him off for a while
at this age it isn't worth the hassle IMO
just feed when they want to - if you are getting comments about clinginess just ignore them if you can
it's ignorance a lot of the time and prejudice about tiny children needing to be independent far before they are ready