Pg and want to BF. Where do I start? please be gentle

[thislittlesisterlola]

I am only 14 wks pg but know I want to try to BF ( but wont beat myself if this doesnt all to plan) I have quite low self confidence and I feel if I am fully equiped with knowledge I generally find I feel better/ less defensive/ panic less.

If I can, I want to mainly express( obv v. early days wont start expressing til milk has come in- is that right?) as DP and I feel its important to share feedtime- its a special time for both of us. How hard is it to maintain that or will I become a mini dairyfarm?

Where do I start? Are there any good books?
-What do you freeze ebm in?/ What do you put ebm in to put in the fridge?

Going out etc I would want to take ebm with me but will I be leaking all over the place and engorged?
The reason I ask mainly, is am going away with family and bub could only be 6 weeks old when we go. I hope to have a mini feeding routine/ an idea of what i am doing by then.

I will be going back to work and I want to do mixed feeding. I hope the deal to be
formula when out and ebm at home. I know this is not ideal but it is what i want to do.

I am sorry if these appear silly, naive questions please dont flame me the whole ' what to do about feeding' is stressing me out. Being pg doesnt leave much in my control but feeding is something I want to do right for my babe.

Many Thanks for reading

Lola

p.s would be getting an electric pump and using breast pads- do you have them in all the time?

hi,
I thought I'd express a lot so DP could feed DS - it's actually happened maybe 6 times in 3 months feeding directly from the breast is soo much easier than expressing!
If DP really wants to be involved with feeds, get him to sit with you and keep you company each time, and make sure you're fully equipped with snacks/drinks!

I bought a huge box of breast pads, and have barely used them - some women leak more than others, so that's something you'll find out when baby is here!

I also worried about bf in public - I was extremely self concious, hate my body, history of rape etc etc. However, giving birth changed my perspective (seriously, when you've had half the staff of a large hospital shoving their hands up you, you lose any sense of dignity you may have had ), and I feed in public all the time now. The first few times were at NCT coffee afternoons in a local cafe, so I knew I wouldn't be judged at all. If you have something like this (or a breastfeeding clinic/support group) near you, it's worth checking it out whilst you're pregnant, then you will feel that wee bit more prepared!

good luck with your pregnancy, and congratulations

Thank you very much and thank you for your reply.

I will see if there are any groups in our area, that could help.

Hi Lola

It is wonderful that you are determined to breastfeed and I really remember how frustrating it is to feel that you can't really prepare yourself for it much. However, apart from the mindset, it really is one of those 'wait and see' things.

Once you are nearer to your due date (perhaps when you are on maternity leave - anyway from about 7-8 months) I would do the following:

Write out the numbers of the support lines and keep them handy.
Go to a breastfeeding 'cafe' (basically a coffee morning for breastfeeding mothers and their partners) and chat and watch lots.

Don't worry too much now about the 'kit' you will need. 2 Feeding bras and some floppy T-shirts, plus breast pads (you may or may not need those) should be fine.

Who are the family you are going away with? Where are you going?

To answer your specific questions - books - I am not really sure, but there are lots of good websites like kellymom. The best thing to do is watch - videos and real life! And talk to ople who have experience (like Mumsnet )

You can freeze usings bags or bottles - but I wouldn't worry about that until the baby is a few months old - it will keep at least 48 hours in the fridge and you wont be away from the baby that much at first I wouldn't think.

Don't worry at all at present about going back to work - take everything one step at a time.

Best wishes!

Hi there,
Congratulations on your pregnancy and well done for thinking about breastfeeding.

You'll probably find your feelings will change a lot once the baby is born, so try not to make any fixed decisions so early. In my experience, the most important factors in succesful breastfeeding are confidence that you can do it (ie not listening to other people questioning you whether you "have enough milk"), demand feeding to build up supply, and a good position/latch.

To be honest, expressing milk is much more hassle than just feeding the baby, especially in the beginning. Also, if you're going away, it will be much more convenient just to breastfeed, rather than lugging around a breastpump and bottles.

I can recommend reading "So that's what they're for!" by Janet Tamaro (available on Amazon). It's rather American, but she does cover every possible subject concerning breastfeeding. You'll probably find books a bit too technical before the baby's born, but once you start feeding, they can answer a lot of questions.

Hope that answers some of your questions. Good luck!

Lots of practical advice here.

Just be prepared for the fact that establishing bfing and a good supply can take time and mainly expressing, especially in the early days, can be unrealistic. A pump is nowhere near as effective as a baby at removing milk and some women feed very successfully but never manage to express a drop.

As you are aware, putting the baby to the breast as often as they require- and they require A LOT- in the early days is very important for supply, for your health and for bonding. And introducing a bottle too early can compromise feeding as they find the sucking action easier with a bottle and might be reluctant to returning to 'working hard' at the breast.

Bfing is also about more than the nutrition. You will probably find that your baby will want to feed from you and you may find that overwhelming urge to offer that to your baby exclusively without expressing (I know I did).

I'd perhaps approach it from the pov that you'd like to express and involve your partner and will try to do that as soon as you can but accept that it may be some time before it's a regular occurence. My dd never took a bottle and if she had expressed milk, it had to be from a cup. Very fiddly and she always preferred actual bfing. There are so, so many lovely bonding things your baby's dad can do instead. Rocking to sleep, nappies, singing etc.

I think exclusive bfing is a very clever and necessary mechanism that gets a new mum sitting down, feet up and producing those happy hormones. Don't be too keen to introduce the stress of counting ounces, pumping and sterilising on top of something that you might prefer the other way.

I think what I mean is keep an open mind, follow the practical advice here, ask for help and look after yourself. Determination to bfeed is some of the battle I think.

I wanted to Bf both of mine but could never get them latched on properly or it just took plain ages to get the latch right and then ages to feed.
So with both of them I expressed full time for them. I managed 6.5 months for DS1 and that was using a manual pump and the 5.5 months for DS2 (he was a much bigger baby and weaned sooner, also harder as DS1 was only 14 months when DS2 was born)
I got an electric pump for DS2 and found this alot quicker. You do feel like a mit of a milking machine at times but I wanted to give the boys the best start I could. I expressed after everytime my DS had fed and expressed in the night too to make sure I maintained my supply. I always managed to get more off than they needed per feed and I did both sides on each session. At one point i was up to 8oz per side at each session.
Storred it in Breast Milk storage bags (boots or Mothercare) and just write on the front the date expressed. Store in the freezer in date order and the transer to the fridge in the bag to defrost.
I didn't read any books, this is just what I found worked for me through trial and error.
I wore breast pads for all the time for sometime until a routine was established. Then I found I only needed to pop them in when I was about to feed as it would stimulate the let down reflex (which is why I expressed after giving the EBM in the bottle)
Sorry for the long post, I hope it helps. I am also 16 weeks pregnant and looking into getting a lactation consultant as I really want to be able to actually breastfeed this time rather than express. But if I'm not successful then I will be pumping for this one too.

PS my recent thread is here and I got some good advice from some ladies too.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/breast_and_bottle_feeding/887730-How-do-I-find-a-Lactation-consu ltant

Good luck.

Congratulations!
A brilliant book I've just discovered (thanks to MN) and wish I'd had from the start was "The Food of Love" by Kate Evans - a lovely book with lots of practical advice but also moral support.
I really would try not to think too much about expressing as it will just add stress - my dh also really wanted me to do this when we talked about it while I was pregnant, but we found it was much more valuable to have him supporting me (ie bringing cups of tea, the remote etc!) while actually breastfeeding. I have friends who expressed for that reason and then found that the novelty for their dps quickly wore off.
Also, try not to even think about routine for a few months - when I stopped telling myself "But she can't be hungry" and just fed her whenever, I felt so much better- and she was happier.

Good luck with it all - I now love breastfeeding (dd 5 months). Once you've settled into it, it becomes a lovely chance to put your feet up and have a cuddle

Will do a quick one!

I have bra and breastpads in the whole time I am BF, otherwise I get a bit damp

So a couple of nursing bras and box of breastpads (I like Lansinoh ones or tommee tippee are OK), plus muslins are handy, plus lansinoh cream (which is lanolin) available in Boots is something a lot of people (including me) swear by.

Don't go mad and buy too much, your DH can go and get extra stuff as and when. Plus the feeding bras I got when pg weren't quite the right size, so I ended up getting some more after a few weeks.

Other than that the thing I think is useful is to see women BF actual small babies, if you don't know anyone with a fairly small baby who would be happy to let you have a look, then try googling. You can then see how much breast the baby takes (ie not nipple feeding), how to hold them, see them open their mouths and generally get used to the whole idea.

Re expressing, I thought that I would express and share feeding etc etc but in the end it never really happened. I know some people manage it but it is a lot of extra work and you're feeding so much at the beginning that I found I didn't want to put pressure on myself to be doing more work than I really needed to IYSWIM.

Support - MN (there is probably a guide on here to BF as well), helplines, etc. Prepare well as you may not get great support on the postnatal ward, get your DH reading and learning as well so he can support you.

Congrats I found it easy both times, I was prepared for the worst but was fortunate. hopefully it will be the same for you.

Hi all, thank you very much for all the advice i certainly feel more informed.

I am going away with my family and i know they support me bf or ff. I think they are more excited about pushing buggies and cuddles.

I was just going to hope I could express once supply is sorted and move on to formula when i go back to work. Until I spoke to my dp and said look at the mumsnet page on breastfeeding to him to help him understand/ prepare him. He was bf and I wasnt. He has for some reason decided that as I was a sickly child/teenager our bub will be the same if not bf. I do not believe this to be true. I am just quite overwhelmed tbh. I think I will just see how it all goes and hope that bub and I find a harmony.

loopylou will be ordering that book now!

mumsnet guide to BF

good luck!

Hi,

I expressed from the start with my dd but only because she was SCBU and fed nasally for 8 days.

As soon as I was able, I switched to mainly bfing, but I'd "overstimulated" my suppply with the all the initial expressing, so I had a lot of excess which I then expressed and froze.

This turned out to be really handy, because when she was 11 weeks, I had to go into hospital with kidney stones, and we had almost enough stored to get her through the 4 days my boobs weren't available - she needed a couple of formula bottles.

My dd never had any trouble at all switching between bottle and boob, but boob was much easier in terms of not needing to sterilise/reheat etc. Much more portable...

Oh lola that is a lot of pressure from your OH.

Thing is while breast is best etc etc formula isn't poisonous. So many people were FF in the 70s etc and have gone on to be healthy.

Hopefully as you both look into it, he will mellow his POV. Might be worth investigating FF as well just in case and to reassure him that when you go back to work (or before if that is the way it turns out) and the baby has formula it will be fine.

Thank you for your kind words.

BUnder- hopefully i will be able to switch between eventually.

Imso- yes it is a lot of pressure, on top of everything else when pg. Will ivestigate ff too as when back at work i will need to.

Good luck with it all, and remember there are loads of MNers who can help if you get into difficulties

Hi Lola!

I exclusively expressed for ds for a year.

For the first six months I didn't go anywhere, no toddler/baby groups, nothing. I was expressing every 2 hours for 15 minutes at a time, and also at 2am when he'd started sleeping through.

It is very hard work.

I think your dh needs to realise how hard and time-consuming pumping is. When you're attached to that pump you can't do anything with the baby.

I had to hire a double electric pump at a cost of £50 a month.

Second time around I'm breastfeeding but expressing when possible to have a store in the fridge and a bit in the freezer.

Feeding time is special to begin with, but imo becomes a bit tedious! I bet given a few months you'd be fighting over who got to stay downstairs and watch tv while the other one had to feed the baby!

Hi there!

As others have said just wait and see how it goes and don't be too hard on yourself whatever happens!

I bf my 3 for 6 months and introduced a bottle for EBM in the first week. Never had a problem with any of them refusing the breast! My sister has also done this with her 3.

Her youngest is only 7mths and was born at 33+6weeks. As she was so tiny she needed top-up feeds in hospital- via a tube at first and then EBM in a bottle. When I questioned this (as I thought it was frowned upon due to teat confusion) my sis told me that they no longer think there is such a thing as new research has disproved it.

Expressing can be very difficult- I had very mixed experiences. Sometimes it was easy and other times couldn't squeeze a drop out. If you are really serious I would get an electric pump and read some reviews to see which ones are recommended.

With my dc1 I leaked massively in the first week, went out to mothercare and leaked through breast pads, bra and t-shirt it was awful and so humiliating So be prepared. It settled down after a few days but I needed breast pads for the whole 6 mths as one breast would always leak whilst I was feeding/expressing from the other.