Me again ... things not really getting better

[rubyslippers]

DD is 12 weeks + 4 and EBF

she feeds like a demon in the day - around 3 sides per her awake time

cluster feeding (still) until 9/9.30 pm every night

her daytime sleep has gone to pot - 30 mins here and there

i have to feed her until she is asleep for naps now, whereas before i could unlatch her and she would fall asleep in my arms

on Xmas day she slept for 3 hours in her basket

In the last 2 days when i put her down in the cot, she is rooting madly on the mattress for more, so out she comes for more

she gave me a few blisful nights of 6 hours plus of sleep but then it was back to 3 hourly wake ups

am not enjoying this breastfeeding experience at all

at 3 months i thought there could be some light at the end of the tunnel

i know she is teeny tiny but DS (3.5) needs my attention, and i need some sleep at some point

can i do anything at all? She has been on one long growth spurt since she was born

has she had cranial osteopathy? It calmed the sleep down for my dd, the best thing I ever did.

She still fed every two hours in the day though.

I'd see a cranial osteopath, then I'd stop feeding her to sleep.

I did pick up put down very effectively with my young bf dd4 - no leaving her to cry at all. I viewed it as her learning it was okay to be awake in her cot on her own without panicking IYSWIM.

sometimes they like to feed lots because the sucking sooths the headaches etc that they have which a cranial can get rid of.

no she hasn't had CO

she is generally calm and sweet natured but it could be worth a go ...

x-post with sleigh girl

there is a clinic near me - think i will book her in for a couple of sessions when we can get out of the house

she slept better and was easier to put down when she was a newborn - i could put her in the basket when she was sleepy and she would drift off ..

perhaps you just need to perservere with picking her up to cuddle and then put her back down without actually feeding her??? Takes ages at first.

Is she in the habit of constantly snacking??

I would see CO first though.

she takes good feeds - even the ones before her naps tend to be gulping ones

i try to pick her up and put her down - she cries and roots each time

i can't bear to hear her cry, and i am not sure she isn't hungry ... but then i think how can she be, as she has just fed

i am getting in an utter pickle about it

ruby, i think i would view it like this:

she has slept long periods. she has slept ok in her basket. she has settled by herself.

you know she can do these things happily.
right now though, she isn't- so that, to me, would indicate that there is a reason for it? breastfed babies DO feed frequently, and right now she is telling you that that is what she needs. 3 hourly wake ups at 12 weeks really isn't that bad!
mine was doing every 45-90 minutes til he was around 9/10 months !!

so my advice would be to take her lead. if she is needing the extra comfort and extra food right now then go with it. it won't be forever, next week she might be sleeping through!

thisisyesterday - you are the voice of reason and sanity

and somewhere in my rational mind i know you are right

but at the moment i am finding it hard

DH is trying to give her some EBM and she is howling for me

i am crying as i just want a break

honestly? maybe it's best to try and accept that's the way she is and get on with it? I know that might sound harsh - I just mean that sometimes once you accept a situation it becomes more bearable, it's when you fight against it and have ideas of how they 'should' be behaving that it gets tricky

she sounds the same as my dd1, or better to be honest. best thing I ever bought was a sling to keep her in all day. I carried her continuously and fed her when she mewled, then I could get on with life and looking after the other 2 handsfree. a pouch sling is handy for popping them in and out of, or a ring sling if you're more dextrous than me. mei tais are cool too

don't cry ruby
i think that this is a combination of growth spurt (again) teething and needing soothing

i would concentrate on getting help with the other stuff, ie DS, cooking/cleaning... and just feed her.
she wsa sleeping more, and she will again. but if she is unwell/teething etc, she will want more

is the dummy an option?

awww ruby, it's ok to cry, and it's ok to need a break too!
breastfeeding can be very draining because it's always giving giving giving, and while it's a fabulous thing and i'd never change it for the world, sometimes you do just want someone else to be able to take over for a bit.

but it gets better, it really does. the first 3 months are the most demanding IME, and it gets gradually better from then on in (even if it doesn't seem it right now!)

i'd second a dummy, if she'll take one.
otherwise will she settle in a sling at all? or in the car?
can your other half take her for a walk or something and just let you sit down with a cupt of tea for a while?

i definitely agree with sanfairyann... i spent ages trying to change ds2's behaviour, but once i accepted that actually, this was how life would be for a while it seemed better. like i understood why he was like it and it just made it a bit easier to accept

thanks for the messages - decided to just feed DD and get her and me to bed ...

san - you don't sound harsh and i know i should just accept her behaviour and go with it, but I am struggling (and that is my issue)

i have a sling - she likes it but she starts to root and i can't feed her in it

she won't take a dummy at all - have tried a few times

DH jiggled her on his knee for a while - she wouldn't take the bottle at all (my MIL has done it twice but only when i haven;t been there)

oh well, today is a new day

thanks again

hi ruby!

i can sympathise with you on this, my wee one is only 5 days old but i have been getting myself stressed with 1-2hr breast feeding demands! and she also wont settle well at all in her moses basket. its been reassuring to read your thread as this is my first and i was getting myself stressed with it also! very early days i know! she tried to latch onto dhs nipple today x

What sanfairyann and thisisyesterday said.

It won't be forever. Both mine were around 14-16 weeks before they went longer between feeds and got into any sort of vague routine which made me feel better at least.

I used to console myself by thinking that stopping bf was not the answer because the faff of preping bottles and sterilising would probably be even more draining, partic at night. Like you, also had the problem with both of mine that they loved boob and would absolutely not take a bottle of ebm.

FWIW my friend bottle fed her DD, who's a similar age to my DD, and was just as exhausted as me because she was a snacky feeder and would only take a couple of oz every 2 or 3 hours. Some young babies are just snacky feeders!

HTH

Ruby my dd was the same until about 16 weeks when it all just clicked into place. it's really hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel but it does get better. I gave dd a dummy, i know lots of people hate them but it worked a treat for her as she just seems to be a really sucky baby and it gives her the comfort she needs.
She's 7 months now and is a dream, settles herself to sleep and sleeps all night (most nights, woke this week a couple of nights but she got her first 2 teeth!!)

i know its hard but try to stick with it, you'll be so glad you did