If you have time, please would you help with a reasearch project?

[tenacityflux]

Hi,
I'm doing a project as part of my breast feeding peer supporter training, and I would really value a moment of your time.
The information won't go further than my project and you will only be known by your screen name, so please feel free to speak your mind!
Please also be assured that I am not in anyway looking to make a judgment on your answers, I am simply interested in recording your feelings about breast feeding whatever they are.

Please ignore the questions your feel are irrelevant to you, and thank you once again for any thoughts you have time to spare.

With your first or only baby, if you decided not to breast feed, what influenced your decision?

With your first or only baby, if you decided to breast feed but stopped earlier than you would have like,when did you stop and what contributed to that decision?

Did your decision to breast feed or not change if/when you had further babies?

Thank you!

With my first baby, I was very sure I didn't want to breastfeed. I had never seen it being done, and as I spoke to people about it, the midwives were the only people who had anything positive to say. All my peers and family commented variously, but all negatively. Comments raged from

"Errr gross, that's disgusting"

"I tried it, it hurts and your baby will always be starving hungry. The best thing I ever did was give you a bottle"

"Oh God, don't. A woman up the road does that and she went mental after a while cos the baby was, like, 2 and still wouldn't stop, he was always on the tit. At least with a bottle you can leave them with someone else"

"What on Earth's the point? It's like eating your food raw and wiping your arse with leaves - yeah, you can, but why fuckin' bother?"

"But you're going back to work, you can't get him used to only being fad by you if you''re going to leave him with his dad, it's cruel!"

"Breastfed babies don't sleep through and it's a nightmare getting them to stop. My sister did it with her first, she said 'never again'"

So I didn't.

With Ds2, I spoke to people who were positive about it, and actually saw some people doing it at toddlers (and they were all people I liked). They pointed out that you can do a nightfeed by flipping a nip into baby's mouth and letting them get on with it, you don't have to pay for it, you don't have to carry formula everywhere, and if you are careful you can give the odd bottle feed anyway. They (rightly) pointed out that my concerns about not getting any time away from baby were hardly valid as I hadn't managed with the first one, despite bottle feeding from birth.

Ds2 ended up being bottlefed because the midwife who delivered him lied to me about whether Prozac was compatible with breastfeeding - apparently it's fine - she insisted it wasn't. I think she couldn't be fuckin' arsed to show me how to do it, as she asked my if I had ever breast fed before she came to her 'decision'... but there's no point being bitter, as the chances are, as I am lazy and ds1 was difficult to manage, that I'd have found it too hard to establish first time breastfeeding with a second baby.

1. I chose to breast feed.

1. I'm a complete reverse to this question! I fed DS for 6 months because I felt as if I should, and that if I didn't I was an evil witch (because I could iyswim). I hated, hated, hated it. I wanted to stop sooner.

1. If hell ever freezes over and I do have another child, I will NOT breast feed again.

Vile, vile, vile.

HTH.

1. n/a

1. I gave up after 12 days. DS1 was 10lbs at birth and never latched on properly, we are lucky here to have old fashioned cottage hospital type places, where I stayed a week but even with the help of several experienced MWs we could not get it right. Once at home he screamed non-stop but I battled on, but I was then harrassed by the HV as he had dropped from 98th to 45th centile, anyway he carried on screaming and on day 12 out of sheer desperation (after NCT counsellor told me she was too busy to help me, OK fair enough it was a Friday night) I gave him a bottle and he wolfed down 2 whole bottles like he was starving. he then stopped screaming and slept! I then half-heartedly tried to bf him again but in the end just gave up bf and tbh was the best decision as the quality of life for all of us improved and we started to enjoy our son.

1. Even though life got better I was very upset about stopping bf as it was the only thing I had felt strongly about, I didn't care re natural birth or anything, but I wanted to bf. Also I felt my breasts had let me down! They might be my best feature and admired by DH and all my exes but they would not do what they were there for! Anyway with DS2 I was very apprehensive but philosophical and thought I would try but give up sooner and not put myself through the anguish if it was hell again. The first few days were not great and he had several bottles but then he seemed to get the hang of it and I bf him for a year, and I was thrilled. I bf in all sorts of places and was so pleased about it I was less than discreet but never had any adverse comments!

My overall view now is that bf-ing is not the be-all and end-all and I don't think it warrants the sort of proselytising that goes on on MN.

Good luck with the research!

With your first or only baby, if you decided not to breast feed, what influenced your decision?

Did breastfeed so N/A.

With your first or only baby, if you decided to breast feed but stopped earlier than you would have like,when did you stop and what contributed to that decision?

I stopped at about the time I intended to (11 months so N/A).

Did your decision to breast feed or not change if/when you had further babies?

No. Always determined to have another baby. The interval decided by medical factors unrelated to breastfeeding.

1. Did breastfeed

'

1. Stopped after 4 months because I was exhausted, on advice from HV which I was happy to take. DS1 just fed continually, never seemed full. I was so depressed I could not cope.

1. Did attempt to breast feed again with DS2. Stopped after about 3 months for some reasons plus a major abscess in one breast which had to be drained at the hospital.

Not that I am going to have another one, but if I was I would not breast feed again.

With your first or only baby, if you decided not to breast feed, what influenced your decision?

N/A - did BF

With your first or only baby, if you decided to breast feed but stopped earlier than you would have like,when did you stop and what contributed to that decision?

I changed to mixed feeding when back at work @ 5 months - formula in day, BF morning and night, and during the night, and sometimes when at home.I felt that practically I would not be able to express at work for various reasons
Did later regret this as DD1 had terrible reflux and is intolerant to cow's milk.Regretted not trying to see if she could just 'do without me' until I was back home!
Finished BF at 13 months - was happy to.

Did your decision to breast feed or not change if/when you had further babies?

No - excl BF dd2 till 6 months, still BF her now at 18 months. Was fully prepared for every difficulty after horrors getting bf started first time round - but,after planned c-section, dd2 fed in recovery as if she'd always been doing it and we never looked back.

1. Breastfed so n/a
2. Stopped exclusively bf at 8 weeks due to ongoing latch problems. Continued to express and did mixed feeds until my DS was 4months. Supply dropped as not expressing as often as I should.
3. Really wanted to BF my second Ds longer and I have! Made sure when pregnant got lots of advice on BF. DS2 Now 10 months and was exclusively BF until 6 months until weaned onto solids. Will continue to BF until at least a year.

Would happily BF another but we are not planning to have any more children.

With your first baby, if you decided to breast feed but stopped earlier than you would have like,when did you stop and what contributed to that decision?
I would have liked to continue but I got pregnant and milk vanished at 4 months. DS1 was 16 months.

Did your decision to breast feed or not change if/when you had further babies?

DS2 is 7 weeks and we are BF again. This time will never use formula like I did occassionally with DS1.

1. DD exclusively BF for a week. Nipples torn to shreds and massive engorgment problems (and pre-MN). Asked for support and told someone would come and help me in two days time (NCT and MWs). Admittedly it was July so many people away. Gave DD a bottle of formula and she guzzled it and slept for the first time in a week so started mixed feeding.

2. Carried on mixed feeding with DD until 4 months when I had to go on medication which I was told was incompatible with bf. Since discovered it probably isn't. Hated hated giving up completely.

3. Am currently feeding DS (now 12 weeks) and don't plan to stop for a while - hoping for at least a year.

1. Breastfed for 3 days then switched to formula. That was how I thought babies were fed. Pressure from my Mum to FF so she could have a go. Was in a complete state of shock after an emergency C section and really didn't know what had hit me!

2. I gave up as I had no idea about the reality of breast feeding and that it would be hard work. I had visions of it just happening. So naive.

3. I have had another child and I'm still feeding him at 10months. The guilt I'd felt from my first one drove me to do it this time. I'd also since been exposed to a lot more breast feeding in the meantime and it had become more normal. I feel like I've achieved something.

1. Planned to bf both times.

1. DD born at 36 weeks by elective section (for placenta praevia) and was small for dates (probably because I'd lost bits of placenta during several large bleeds and so she was undernourished) at 4lb 12oz. She was fed by NGT for nearly 3 weeks. I pumped and pumped but found it difficult to get enough milk out to feed her - she had a mixture of EBM and formula down her tube. I kept trying and trying to bf but she couldn't seem to latch on properly. Kept being told I was doing it right, but she couldn't latch on. (I do have quite flat nipples - not inverted, but not particularly 'extroverted' [can that really be the right word? ] either.) Eventually got her out of hospital by feeding with nipple shields. Lasted another 4 weeks or so, but she wasn't putting weight on, was making no progress towards feeding without the nipple shields, and with lots and lots of tears and heartbreak, but on the advice of my HV, I stopped.

1. Was absolutely determined to bf dd2 who was full-term and normal sized. Still found it very difficult, though - I think because of flat nipples. Persevered through intense pain and blisters on nipples and mastitis x 2 for about three months. Eventually, in desperation with pain, found a really good bf support clinic who helped me to realise that I can ONLY feed rugby-ball stylee. It's the only way I avoid excruciating pain. But by this time had given in to pain and introduced one, and then two, bottle(s) a day. DD just lost interest in bf and I moved to completely ff by the time she was 6 months old.

dc1 wouldn't latch and I wasn't given much help or support,so was bottle fed after struggling for a few days.
I was determined to breastfeed dc2 because I felt such a failure after dc1.Breastfed for 11 months.stopped when I wanted to.

With my first baby, I decided to breastfeed and aimed for 6 mths, unfortunately, I got to 4mths exclusive and 5mths mixed. I used nipple covers quite early on due to very sore nipples, which I think may have led to a slightly low supply. I lacked confidence in my supply also, I was feeding 16 times a day at 4mths. I was obsessively having DS weighed weekly and the week he lost 3 ounce I worked myself up into a right state. I couldn't get DS to latch without nipple covers, and in the end I topped him up with formula and he settled instantly.

I am now breastfeeding DS2 at 10 weeks, this time, despite sore nipples in the early days, I resisted nipple covers. It's all going really well so far. I am more relaxed this time and have more confidence in my ability to feed my child.

1: n/a

2: Stopped at 8 months, wanted to get to a year. DS got a cold and struggled to feed due to bunged up nose, so pretty much stopped for a couple of weeks. Despite previously being v vigilant and being obsessed by my supply, I didn't pump, thinking my supply would just respond to his requirements. when he was able to feed again, he was biting (ow). ALso he was really hungry and I didn't seem to have an awful lot of milk due to fewer feeds for near 3 weeks. Was going back to work and decided to ff. 6 weeks on, still regret it.

3: He is only child (for now).

ALl the best with your studies.

I chose to breast feed because I thought it was best for my baby and also thought it would be the easiest option for me with no fiddling about with sterilisers and bottles. My SIL had successfully breast fed her two and was very encouraging. I should add that I gave birth in France where breast feeding is quite rare - I got no tips or help from hospital staff (though they were surprised and happy that I found it so easy) - my main coach was SIL on the phone from England who was brilliant. DD was exclusively breast fed for first six months and I carried on til about 15 months - she never had a bottle. I think perversely one of the things which really spurred me on was knowing I was bucking the trend in France and also MIL's digs along the lines of "Of course the problem with breast feeding is noone else can do it for you". When ds was born two years later I didn't think twice, in fact it had become so much second nature to me that when I saw other mums fiddling about with sterilising bottles and mixing formula I couldn't understand why anyone would not want to breast feed.

With only ds b/f and still going (8 mths) It was very hard in the first few weeks / month and the only thing honestly that prevented me was that I received very good b/f support from NHS.

I was also determined to continue as my ds had a poor healh start in life and as a result I did not feel that it was easy to bond with him at first. Scientifically I had read reports that b/f helps with oxcytocin the bonding hormone and a combination of just holding him and receiving the hormone might help. It may have happened without but I found for me it did help with the bonding. It also raised my fragile self confidence to be able to do something for him that no-one else could.

After the first couple of months it became enjoyable, and I will go on for as long as my son and I are happy with it.

I was lucky in being able to take nine months maternity leave however, and if I had been able to only take 3 or even 6 months it would have made me stop far earlier.

I would definately bf again, especially as I know what to do and have more realistic expectations that bf is very hard to begin with.

With your first or only baby, if you decided not to breast feed, what influenced your decision?

Breast fed, then mixed fed which gradually developed into only bottle feeding by around 12 weeks

With your first or only baby, if you decided to breast feed but stopped earlier than you would have like,when did you stop and what contributed to that decision?

Stopped earlier than I would have liked. Was in SCBU and I doubted my supply as they wanted me to 'top up'. SHeer tiredness andlack of confidence and a colicky baby led to gradually more formula feeding. Until one day I lay in bed at night and thought 'Oh I haven't breast fed at all today' and that was it. Also severeal people around me had babys of a siilar age and were all bottle feeding so that was the norm.

Did your decision to breast feed or not change if/when you had further babies?

OH YEs! I could talk at length about this (and will do if you want any further info). With ds2, I was determined I would breast feed successfully. No formula at all (in retrospect I was a little crazy about my commitment. I expressed when I went back to work when he was 6 months. I wanted to 'do it right' - that is to say, I wanted to do it the way I had originally intended. DS2 had no formula at all and had breastmilk until a few weeks shy of his 3rd birthday.

DS3 - again fully breastfed but a littl more relaxed. He had formula milk on food when weaning onto solids and once I could express and he would accept a bottle (gosh, probably around 9 months) he had one or two bottles of formula (pressure from family who thought it would make hims sleep through haha). Went back to work when he was 9 months and again expressed for him but a little more relaxed about formula rather than making myself ill expressing all the hours of the day as I did with ds2. STill breastfed at 16 months no signs of stopping and no plans to stop.

One thinkg I have changed with ds3 is he has a beaker of cows milk with his breakfast. I was keem tp make him have this from about a year old as ds2 NVER drank cows' milk and even now, at almost 5, won't drink it.

Long, sorry.

But you did ask

Good luck

CAn I justadd - I had increasingly lng maternity leaves each time which I think have helped: ds1 - returned when he was 18 weeks, ds2 returned when he was 6 months, First full time for a few months then downs to 2 days a week. ds3 returned when he was 9 months.

With your first or only baby, if you decided not to breast feed, what influenced your decision?

N/A - I did breastfeed.

With your first or only baby, if you decided to breast feed but stopped earlier than you would have like,when did you stop and what contributed to that decision?

N/A - I wanted to stop when baby wanted to which was at 15 months. Was happy with that.

Did your decision to breast feed or not change if/when you had further babies?

No. Breastfed till baby wanted to stop the nnext time too.

1. N/A tried BF. Hadn't considered ff an option (that soon changed!)

2. It took 3 miserable weeks to get DS to latch on, I mix fed for 3 weeks after that and was fed up so gradually cut back on bf and stopped totally at about 4 months.

3. Ex bf DD until 4 months. But hated it after about 2 months (found it restrictive and couldn't get anything else done) and was desperate to get her to take a bottle of expressed milk all that time. Certainly not a bonding experience! Great nutrition for her, but drove me up the wall.

With your first or only baby, if you decided not to breast feed, what influenced your decision?

I did breastfeed as I felt it was "the best" thing to do and my mother breastfed all four of us while my sisters breastfed their children.

With your first or only baby, if you decided to breast feed but stopped earlier than you would have like,when did you stop and what contributed to that decision?

I stopped at 8 weeks when my GP did DS's check up and said he was emaciated. He still only weighed 7lb 10 and looking at photos I'm horrified I let it go on so long. He wasn't on the weight chart at all but my health visitor convinced me I should continue and even (wrongly) told me I needed to breastfeed to bond with him. He's now a v big 3 yr old (off the top of the height chart and on 91st centile for weight) and I feel v guilty for the malnutrition I subjected him to.

Did your decision to breast feed or not change if/when you had further babies?

I'm 25 weeks pregnant and would like to breastfeed this baby but feel I've already failed (how could it work?). I intend to do it for the 1st 10 days and make my decision whether to continue on whether the baby has regained its birth weight.

Sorry I waffled so much!

Good lucky Happy Seven

well I'm an odd one out here

1.decided against bf as I just didn't want to up until ds was born. not something that was done in my family at all so I'd not really been brought up with it. I considered when he was born but was in so much pain I couldn't face it.
2.N/a
3.I think I'll try it with my next one, as in a way I wish I had with ds, and hopefully circumstances will be a bit better surrounding the birth.

bf my only son for approx 3 months.

Had problems from the start tbh. He was SCBU amd wasn't feeding. Staff on the Maternity ward left a breast pump and asked me to express and then just left me get on with it - I didn't have a clue!

When I did attempt to breast feed, they then asked me to give him a bottle of formula because he wasn't getting enough from me, that felt wonderful, not!

Eventually got him home and was breast feeding/expressing then I got impetigo, was terrified to touch him in case he caught it, so hubby bottle fed and I kept expressing and chucking it down the sink because of the infection but I wanted to keep my milk coming.

Got over the impetigo and managed to give poor DS thrush because of the antibiotics.

Got back to breast feeding and expressing again, got impetigo again, back to formula again.

Felt so run down and such a bloody failure that I had managed to starve my son and infect him that I just stuck with formula from there on in.

Felt a massive failure for a long while and a huge sense of regret that I wasn't able to do the best for him.

Haven't had a second baby but would defo want to try to BF again, given the chance.

1. I had a friend who recently breastfed her dd so it was the norm for me and I didn't consider not bf (sorry, not quite what you asked!)

1. DD stopped at nearly 19m which was earlier than I'd have liked but her decision.

1. Same decision with DS, who is still bf at 11m and steadfastly refuses any other way of taking milk