Back to work in a month and baby won't take a bottle or cup- help!

[LouH20]

Hi- I'm having a nightmare trying to get my 6.5 month old onto a bottle. I'm back at work in under a month and for the past 6 days I've been breast feeding her last thing, in the night and first thing as advised by the HV and then only offering her the bottle during the day. Every single day she went 10 hours without any liquid and just held out for me in the evenings. We ended up in A&E on NY's Day as I was so worried about her hydration levels. She'll just about have the teat in her mouth but won't suck.
We tried for her first 3 months with a bottle of expressed milk every day and she took it twice and took 2 bottles of formula but then never again. I gave up as I found it so distressing and was convinced that once weaning started the variety would encourage her to take a bottle. Well she's been on solids for 6 weeks now and still won't accept a bottle.
We've also tried every cup and she'll take a few sips of water but that's it. I've put juice in her water, makes no difference. The only one I've not tried is a doidy cup that I'm getting tomorrow. I did want to try and combine feed but a doc friend said it seems like our stubborn wee thing will have to go cold turkey and I'll have to give up breast feeding so she doesn't have a choice and doesn't just hold out for me. Not what I wanted at all and I hate that it's become a battle of wills. With cold turkey how long can a baby go without liquids? I should also mention that in protest she's also stopped taking solids and so isn't getting moisture from food either. Also she is dairy intolerant so has been prescribed a revolting non dairy formula which doesn't help.
I've actually put her back on the boob today as she is full of cold and has a temp and my instinct is to get fluids into her but we have to restart this battle when she's better. I'm so stressed out by it all and can't see how I'm ever going to be able to go back to work. Has anyone gone through this and come out the other side? Any advice? We have tried every bottle, cup and diff people feeding her, diff temps of milk, distractions etc, everything. Just feel at the end of my tether....
Lou

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Apart from everything you've tried I can't think of any advice but didn't want your thread to go unanswered

Hm,none of my 3 children were very interested in bottles. Ended throwing away a lot of EBM! But especially dc1 I remember him bfeeding throghout the night (I think it even has an official name reversed cycle or something like that) and he would eat solids during the day. I also remeber dh feeding dc2 EBM mixed with babyrice (I love bayrice).
I also rember being stressed out with dc1 but realising with dc2 and dc3 that they WILL be alright.
1 month is quite a long time for a baby, I find they change so much over just 1 month

lou there are loads of threads about going back to work and the consensus (and what worked for me) is to just breastfeed when you are there and leave it up to carer to give food and water when you aren't. although she is quite young so maybe some expressed milk would be helpful.

i think giving up bf entirely to prepare for your absence is a silly idea.

just wanted to wish you the best of luck!

My daughter would never take a bottle or a cup nor would she ever drink formula or cow's milk and i had to go back to work when she was 6 months. I remember the stress of this so clearly. It resolved itself over time but all you can try is: - a cup rather than bottle - poss a doidy cup - mixing ebm into her food. - giving her yoghurt etc. You then can feed her, if you want, before and after work. I ended up feeding my daughter for 20 months as it was the only was she would take any milk. She's 3 now and will still only have it if in a milk shake. Good luck anyway

What i meant to add is, do what you can in the month you have but don't get overly stressed if it doesn't happen. She will be fine whatever and in a short time you will have moved on to a new problem!

What i meant to add is, do what you can in the month you have but don't get overly stressed if it doesn't happen. She will be fine whatever and in a short time you will have moved on to a new problem!

Hi, I know you said you'd tried every cup but I wanted to ask if you had tried a Nuk learner cup. It's a cup with a soft spout that is halfway between a cup and bottle. My daughter never took a bottle and I went back to work when she was nearly six months but she did eventually learn to use this cup after a few weeks of me tearing my hair out and preferred it to all others. If you would like to CAT me an address that I could post to, I have several cups that I am unlikely to use again and you would just have to buy the spouts to put in them - think they are about £4 for a pack of two.

This is the bottle and this is the spout/teat thing.

It was the only bottle she would take. She didn't take a lot of liquid (typically no more than a couple of ounces at a go) but it made a big difference to me that I knew she would take some so presumably would have taken more if she wanted it.

When I went back to work, I also breastfed A LOT at night. It was tiring but at least I knew DD was getting what she needed.

I will be watching your thread with interest as my DC3 will not take a bottle or a cup for milk or water and I not sure that the answer is in another sort of teat. Who is going to look after your baby when you return to work and are you working long days? If you are working fairly short day perhaps the feeding before and after work could work (that's what I am relying on). Could you try a dummy run ie give your child to the carer for a day and see how s/he gets on?

Hi, I've been in a similar situation although my DD was a bit older than yours.
We use a Tommee Tippee explora cup which is somewhere between a cup and a bottle and it works ok.

She only takes a little bit of milk at nursery, although after 2 weeks she is now taking more, and then has quite a bit in the evenings.

My HV said to me when i asked her what she suggested, with one month to go:
"Don't have this battle."
She said, if you only ever have one child, you don't want to look back on the last month you had at home before you went back to work, thinking it was a huge battle and having to stop BF before you and DD want to. She said that the nursery/carer staff know what they are doing and would be able to help DD to learn how to use the cup. She said

"enjoy the time you have at home with your baby"

Best advice I have EVER had from a HV.

Good luck, you will both be fine.

Oh, I also wanted to say that cold turkey would be really hard for you not to mention painful and put you at risk of mastitis... as well as emotionally, if it's not what you want to do.

Really you need a breastfeeding counsellor rather than a doctor. Sadly, doctors don't always have very up to date training on breastfeeding. Not to say of course, that your friend doesn't, just in general.

Hi, lots of good suggestions here to try .

Kellymom on reverse cycling. Your LO will be old enough for this: feed when you are together and let carer give water/fruit/EBM if she will take it from somebody else other than you (they often do).

I also agree with what somebody else said above: babies change so quickly in 1 month. Try not to get too stressed out about this. She will not starve/dehydrate in your absence, and both you and her will adjust to new routine.

Lou - I have an Adiri bottle which is supposed to be more like a breast than a bottle. My DD never took to breast or the Adiri but it was the way my friend got her little girl to come off breast feeding all of the time. Also, have you tried someone else feeding her with the bottle? She may take a bottle from your DH or a friend?

I was in exactly your position 2.5 years ago and it totally stressed me out, to the point that the HV wanted to sign me off. To top it off, my freezer full of EBM was useless sine I'd just discovered DD was gluten- as well as dairy-intolerant.

Firstly, ask your HV/GP for Aptamil Pepti formula. It is by far the most palatable for intolerant babies IME. We eventually discovered it after Nutramigen and Neocate wars. These wars had made DD tommee tippee bottle-phobic, but we had a bit more success when we changed to pepti by changing bottles too to some anti-colic kind with normal little teats. She'd take a couple of oz for the childminder (never from me) that way. We tried all the cups too, but she didn't really get the hang of cup drinking until closer to 1yo.

I constantly fretted over her milk intake, and let her tank up on BM when I was at home. It wasn't until she was prescribed a calcium supplement and multi vits at one of her gastro appointments later in the year that I realised what a weight had been lifted. Ask about that too.

DD had a formula epiphany just before she was 1 and never looked back. She has only just been taken off pepti at 3yo and will take cow's milk without complaint. The fussiness doesn't last forever!

And I am at the suggestion of cold turkey. How is that beneficial for either of you?

I had similar experience - DD never took a bottle and went to nursery part time from about 7 months old. I continued to bf until she was 2 years old, but at times around work/nursery etc. She rarely drank milk at nursery but would take water from a cup and was mostly fine with solids offered. She didn't starve and the only hiccup was feeling a bit engorged when I first went back, but all quickly re-adjusted, me, DD and boobs to new routines.
If its any comparison, I carried on bf as normal until I went back to work, expressed a bit for comfort at work and bf baby at home, she adjusted well to nursery and ate/drank water as she wanted to.
She prob only started drinking cows milks when she was nearing 2.

just thinking, maybe he meant expressing for a couple of days until DD begins taking the formula/bottle and then returning to mixed feeding?

Hi LouH20
I returned to work when my DD was nearly 6 months and like your LO I battled to get her to take EBM from a bottle, cup anything but she would've rather not had anything and had boob all night!
When I went back to work, my MIL was/is her fulltime carer and she tried DD with bottles (every kind I might add!!), cups and even resorted to spoon feeding her EBM to my DD screaming protests.
But after about 4-5 days she gradually began to accept a bottle - not a lot - but adjusted and gradually took more and more. My MIL was a star as she was the one that had to listen to DD screaming but unfortunately I could not do anything for her as I needed to go back to work and all my best efforts at getting her to take bottle were futile.
So LO will adjust - the carer will just keep persevering day by day and eventually they'll take from bottle / cup.
Sorry its not constructive advice just what happened in my experiance.
And remember...this too shall pass

My mum is doing 2 days, a nursery is doing 2 and then I'm doing the other. I guess I think it's just a bit unfair to leave this transition to someone else and also to my daughter. Suddenly I dsiappear off and she's being given milk by a stranger at nursery BUt then again maybe she'll have no association with breast and me if I'm not there. Thanks for your thoughts- everyone on Mumsnet has been so supportive and it's nice not to feel like the only person out there.

Thanks Brown trout! Yeah I need ot get hold of a doidy cup- can you believe that my local Mothercare had never heard of one?! I know I can feed her before and after work but that means being fed at 7am and then 6am when I get back from work- so that's a long time for her to go without milk. If she didn't have this dairy allergy I would be getting yoghurt into her but obviously I can't. I'm mixing formula with all of her food but think I may have to ask for some calcium syrup as my little niece is on. Thanks for your support!

I think I thought going cold turkey would just give her no choice and she wouldn't then just hold out for me in the evenings and would therefore maybe accept a bottle. Not a nice way to do it though I know. Thanks for the advice re. diff bottles and cups- I'll look into all of them. Shes still full of cold so she's still on the berast as I really don't want an unwell baby low on fluids. Apart from formula I need to lok into other non dairy things I can give her that get calcium into her diet. Like you say a month is a long time, I think I've just got overhwlemed by it and a v negative and I need to pull it together and try and be positive for her sake. Thanks so much to you all- I couldn't believe the level of support and advice offered as I've never posted on her before. I'll let you know how we all get on and if anyone hears of a magic solution, do please still let me know. Thanks to you all and your stubborn little babes! x

You can order Doidy cups off Amazon, DS 7 months will happily drink from his. DS never took a bottle and seems to find the majority of sippy cups hard work but can drink from his doidy if we hold it for him.

We have also had success with a tommee tippee Nuby which has a very soft lid and spout, DS appears to find it much easier thn any other cup and love holding it himself to drink out of

I totally sympathise with you as I am having the exact same problem. How are things now?
My wee boy is also 6.5 months old and has always refused the bottle. He is quite good at taking water from his cup after mealtimes, but doesn't like taking milk from it. He is great with solids and accepts all foods given, but just wont take milk by any other means that bf. I am going back to work at the beginning of March and am so stressed by the whole thing. I am also really worried about coping with working ft while still having interrupted sleeps. I am desperate to get him on the bootle.
I really hope things are going well for you - good luck!

Hi Jacob17, Well it's all been on hold for the past week as she's been v poorly with a nasty cold and I wanted ot keep her fluids up. Plus she always goes off solids when she's ill so I didn't want to toally starve her! She's started eatig again now and the snot seems to be on the decrease finally so it's back to it next week. I've got a doidy cup coming so will try that. I may try expressing to get her onto the bottle and then start mixing my milk more and more with formula. We still can't work out whether it's the bottle or what's in it that is the problem? However my supply isn't nearly as much as those early days and I never get that much out when I express. Plus expressing and working is gonna be a nightmare so don't want that to be a long term thing, really want to get her onto formula. It is unbelievably stressful isn't it- I can't focus on going back to work at all as all that dominates my thoughts is her starving. I've got to go into her nursery on Tues to meet her carer who I warned of our battles and she said one of her little boys had the same problem so will talk it through with her. Don't you just dream of someone else feeding your wee one- being able to share night feeds and hey, even leaving them overnight with someone once in a while. I had no idea it was gonna be such a huge issue. I'll let you know how we get on next week. Good luck to you too- let me know how you get on!