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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Is this a nursing strike? Please help!

23 replies

Igglybuff · 02/01/2010 18:31

About a week ago my DS refused to feed most of the day for two days. I expressed and gave him a bottle as was worried.

Again he's doing it today but it's now gone 6pm and he hasn't fed properly since 8am. He fed in the night fine. When I position him to feed after he gives hunger cues he fusses or even cries. He might latch on but pulls off after a suck or two.

This is really getting me down. Again I expressed and he took it no problem. So I feel like he's rejecting me, not food!

I have no idea what it could be. Possibilities:
-DH has been looking after him more in the day as he's off work. Is the change upsetting him?
-Could he be teething? He's drooling and eating everything.
-could my supply be low (I found it hard to express than normal and have had dull pain in lower stomach, like a period)
-could it be linked to his reflux?

I'm getting more upset as DS rejects me/boob and I have no idea what I should be doing. Should I express to maintain supply? Should I keep offering DS boob every few hours? Will he ever feed from me again?

Sorry for all the questions, I'm getting more and more upset and as a result, DH is looking after DS more as I feel rejected

Any advice?

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 02/01/2010 18:33

sounds like it iggly.
how old is he?

Original poster
Igglybuff · 02/01/2010 18:33

DS is 3 months old by the way!

OP posts:
rubyslippers · 02/01/2010 18:35

Iggly - my DS was like this with the breast and bottle because of his reflux

often he would comfort feed but then he would go nuts at the sight of a boob or bottle and really fuss

can you take him to bed for loads of skin to skin and just give him access to the boob?

he may find the ease of taking a bottle better - no slow let down etc - he has to work harder to breastfeed

he is 11 weeks isn't he?

Picante · 02/01/2010 18:35

DD completely refused to feed a couple of days ago apart from a bit of ebm from a bottle.

Yesterday morning I discovered she'd cut her first tooth. (4 months old)

Have you had a good look in his mouth?

thisisyesterday · 02/01/2010 18:35

ahh, very young then... hmm

does he have a bottle while your dh looks after him?
it certainly is possible for them to start to prefer a bottle, even with just one a day.

i always get a drop in supply when i get my period, but that has made mine feed more to make up for it, not less.

it def could be linked to teething and reflux.
i think i'd tend to try and feed him while he is sleepy/asleep as much as poss, and steer clear of bottles if you can.
cup or spoon feed if you think he needs it.

Original poster
Igglybuff · 02/01/2010 18:35

What do I do? I'm gutted!

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 02/01/2010 18:37

good info here kellymom

thisisyesterday · 02/01/2010 18:37

btw, my 6 week old did this twice, for no apparent reason. i just let him do his thing and he eventually took the breast again
was weird and i never found out why he did it

Original poster
Igglybuff · 02/01/2010 18:40

Am x posting sorry!

He's 13 weeks. ruby I'll try doing that tomorrow while DH is around to feed me.

DH only looks after DS between feeds - he's only had EBM three times.

I'll also check his mouth again although couldn't see anything earlier today.

My main concern is letting him go hungry... He's not crying at the sight of a bottle, just boob!

OP posts:
Original poster
Igglybuff · 02/01/2010 18:43

thisisyesterday he's done it before but not for a whole day. It's stressful!

OP posts:
headabovewater · 02/01/2010 18:57

Iggly - my dd (now 12 wks) did this about 3 weeks ago. Started to go ballistic at the breast, hitting me and shouting. It was horrible! We gave her a bottle of EBM and for days that's all she would have. She will now just about feed from me for about 3/4 mins (at night she is fine - co-sleeping and feeding lying down). I have no idea why but according to bf counsellor this is classic reflux behaviour.

My dd also seems to be teething plus I think I have a fast let down and she likes to be able to control the flow at the bottle.

Frankly it has been a nightmare, expressing every feed and muddling through. I have seen a v good bf lady though who thinks whatever the problem is she will return to breast feeding and enjoy it when she is bigger (and maybe more able to cope with whatever is bothering her).

Her advice is there is no harm in offering ebm bottles - don't let them get hungry/tough it out - as long as you feed them the bottle with the baby either sitting bolt upright or lying down on their side. The important thing is to keep the bottle horizontal so the milk is not flowing down into the mouth IYSWIM. Otherwise they learn to arch their tongues to stop the flow and this makes latching on the breast harder later.

Some improvement this week and I feel less rejected but it hasn't been nice. You have my sympathy!

Original poster
Igglybuff · 02/01/2010 19:04

Thanks head. Do you know why nights are ok? I had stopped feeding lying down as thought it was bad for reflux...

I'll keep trying to feed him but DH goes back to work Monday so it'll be tough expressing for every feed and looking after DS. I'll take the point re horizontal bottles - it took weeks to get the latch right the first time!!

OP posts:
headabovewater · 02/01/2010 19:13

It is a nightmare trying to express and looking after another child - am not looking forward to Monday either! The only saving thing is have I bought a double electric pump so am going to try expressing both sides for a bit before a feed (to prevent the fast flow problem) then feed from the side she will accept and then give the ebm bottle. Not easy but I am determined not to give formula (dd1 v v dairy allergic). I feel resigned to the hardship now - before Xmas I was ultra stressed. I think I can now see some light at the end of the tunnel which helps.

Apparently bf babies often find reflux troubles them less at night - formula fed babies are worse than in the day. It is reasonably common, so I've been told, to be ok at night even lying down. BTW I have tried to recreate the nighttime position, darkness etc but she is not daft and seems to know I am tricking her!

Good luck

Snot2010YetBaby · 02/01/2010 19:17

One suggestion - My DS did this for a couple of days around 3 months. I read up on KellyMom about distraction, and started feeding him facing a blank wall with no noises around (tricky with elder kids about!) He settled down much more quickly.

Original poster
Igglybuff · 02/01/2010 19:22

Thanks head. Good luck with yours too! I find the reflux alone hard to deal with

snot I'll give that a go as well just in case. DS is much more interested in the world now - he gets excited at so much!

OP posts:
headabovewater · 02/01/2010 19:33

Oddly DD does the opposite, Snot. She seems to be more willing to bf when in an odd situation - in the car, a cafe or at the bf clinic. All noisy and distracting places. We had an almost normal feed at an allergy clinic with dd1 the other day. I was dreading it - no ebm bottle as I hadn't had time to express and stuck there for 3 hours. Fed reasonably well (not for long but no howling and hitting!) and I was mighty relieved! Latched off with a smile as if she knew she had done well!

The bf counsellor thinks she realises there will be no bottle in these circs so she just has to get on with it. Might be worth a try, Iggly. Am amazed they are so clever really at 12 weeks.....

Original poster
Igglybuff · 02/01/2010 20:08

head might be worth a go!!

Although can report that DS has just fed off the boob reluctantly - he was drowsy though. He guzzled too much and has spewed everywhere at least he tried the boob again. Fingers crossed for the next feed.

OP posts:
Original poster
Igglybuff · 06/01/2010 16:57

Depressingly DS still won't take the boob unless he's either falling asleep or just waking up. So the only way to get food in is catch him at the start or end of a nap. I'm at my wits end and am going to take him to the docs to rule out illness - he only seems to have a mild cold. As he isn't arching his back and screaming just turning away I don't think it's his reflux. I'm at a loss!

OP posts:
headabovewater · 07/01/2010 13:03

Iggly - I think we have the same baby! Depressing isn't it. I am not convinced it is reflux either although the bf counsellor seems pretty sure and thinks we need omeprazole - gaviscon not really working plus makes her constipated. Mine will feed a bit now but not enough to stay asleep for more than 30 mins . My own theories are:

  1. She doesn't like the tummy/wind effect of feeding from me. Often poos during/after and seems v windy - ?associates this with bf?
  1. Is overtired a lot of the time - despite my best efforts - and finds bf a hassle
  1. Doesnt like the milk now that my hormones seem to have changed (periods just returned) although why ok with bottled ebm?
  1. Is just an incredible fusspot and can't be bothered if bit snuffly/tired/too hungry/not hungry enough!

Who knows??

headabovewater · 07/01/2010 13:05

Iggly - I think we have the same baby! Depressing isn't it. I am not convinced it is reflux either although the bf counsellor seems pretty sure and thinks we need omeprazole - gaviscon not really working plus makes her constipated. Mine will feed a bit now but not enough to stay asleep for more than 30 mins . My own theories are:

  1. She doesn't like the tummy/wind effect of feeding from me. Often poos during/after and seems v windy - ?associates this with bf?
  1. Is overtired a lot of the time - despite my best efforts - and finds bf a hassle
  1. Doesnt like the milk now that my hormones seem to have changed (periods just returned) although why ok with bottled ebm?
  1. Is just an incredible fusspot and can't be bothered if bit snuffly/tired/too hungry/not hungry enough!

Who knows??

headabovewater · 07/01/2010 13:05

Iggly - I think we have the same baby! Depressing isn't it. I am not convinced it is reflux either although the bf counsellor seems pretty sure and thinks we need omeprazole - gaviscon not really working plus makes her constipated. Mine will feed a bit now but not enough to stay asleep for more than 30 mins . My own theories are:

  1. She doesn't like the tummy/wind effect of feeding from me. Often poos during/after and seems v windy - ?associates this with bf?
  1. Is overtired a lot of the time - despite my best efforts - and finds bf a hassle
  1. Doesnt like the milk now that my hormones seem to have changed (periods just returned) although why ok with bottled ebm?
  1. Is just an incredible fusspot and can't be bothered if bit snuffly/tired/too hungry/not hungry enough!

Who knows??

headabovewater · 07/01/2010 13:08

oops! depressing but no need for 3 posts!

Original poster
Igglybuff · 07/01/2010 20:02

Whoops headabove! yes my DS is overtired all the time despite my best efforts to get him to sleep.... He gets windy after feeding as he guzzles it down although I try and stop him!! I'm at a bit of a loss really. I give him EBM which he takes and I can now feed him when he's very drowsy although if he wakes he'll pull off

I'm giving it a week to see if it's just a phase. If not then I'm not sure what next?!

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