Fed up of breastfeeding

[hairymelons]

DS is 18mo. I have loved BFing but I don't enjoy feeds anymore AT ALL. I know that's a terrible thing to say but I'm always so sore afterwards. He doesn't bite but his teeth are just 'there' and well, it's really sore.

Problem is, he's REALLY keen. I stopped feeding him in the night 3 months ago but he still always asks! Doesn't fuss too much when I don't feed but still has a go.

I didn't feed him in the day on Christmas Day or the day after (unsuitable dress and too busy with crowds of family to disappear for a feed) and he was fine when I put him off. So I've carried on with doing that which is ok but I think I'd really like to stop.

I feel so selfish and I don't want to make him sad. And I also don't want to regret stopping. I think he'll be asking for months which will be hard for both of us. But if it's irritating me then surely it's time to stop?

Oh I don't know! Would love some advice.

do you have a local la leche group?
ours is fab, and has quite a lot of people who have fed/are feeding toddlers and older children.
you might be able to get advice on altering his latch so that it isn't sore, or trying diff positions and stuff

BF only works if you;re both happy, but i think you're right to worry about regretting it if you stop.
my ds2 weaned while I was pg with ds3, and I still regret not helping him with it a bit more (it was very painful for me, and i put him off a lot)

I'd second the LLL group idea if you have one locally. I nothing else they should have a copy of 'How Weaning Happens'.

hairymelons I totally empathise.
Yesterday I decided to only fed DC3 16 mths morning and bedtime.
It was distressing for us both everytime she turned to me for a drink and I refused.
My breasts were aching to feed her and her look of dispair made me sad.
I've decided to do this because for the last 3 weeks she finds it hilarious to pinch and twist my nipples with her hand and when she finishes a feed she sinks her teeth into my nipples and then drags her teeth all the way down my nipple and laughs as I scream.
I've tried everything to discourage her but she finds my pain entertaining.
Each time she heads for my breast I grab a cup of cows milk, rice cake, bread stick or toy.
I'm sure it'll be easier day by day.

I stopped at similar age with both of mine as it was getting to me, they both drank cows milk from cups afterwwards (dd did take a few months to adapt to the taste)and both ate a bit better.

Overall looking back i'm quite happy with the decision, they forgot very quickly. They both seemed to 'grow up' quite quickly afterwards, i suppose they were more independent?

treadmillmom, i doubt very much that your daughter finds your pain amusing

there are ways of teaching nursing manners, but if you want to just stop feeding that's your choice.

personally i would just take her off every time she pinched, or hold onto her hands so she can't.
and i would take her off before she has the chance to bite.

thisisyesterday she smiles and laughs out loud whilst I'm screaming, 'No, no, no stop'.
Once off the breast I put her on the ground with a stern NO and refuse to make eye contact with her. She hollers like crazy but next feed, she does it again.

yes but it's your response she likes! not the fact that she is hurting you.
she is far too young to be able to do that.

silence, and taking her off is the way to go, amd try not to let her hurt you

Thanks everyone for your responses.
Treadmillmom, that sounds extremley painful! I think the worst bit is waiting for it to happen. I agree with TIY that feeding behaviour can always be modified though. If I yelped when DS bit me during feeds he'd love it so I tried being calm (through gritted teeth) and he was soon bored, hasn't done it for ages.
He eats well and happily drinks milk from a bottle so that's not a worry.
Had been neither offering nor refusing til the other day and that made no difference. He's barely asked the last couple of days since I put him off a bit though.
It's the early morning feedathons that are the killer TBH. I'm just not ready to start my day at 4/5 am when he starts asking for 'mama' so I bring him into bed for a feed. I can't sleep while he feeds anymore cos of the teeth thing. It's also causing me back pain as he latches on then rolls about in a most uncomfortable way unless I curl up around him. Also DH and I work v long hours, usually only getting to bed at 1am to be woken a few hours later... I know, moan, moan, moan.
I'm just trying to say that it's getting a bit much. I'm tired and fed up. And I'm reluctant to contact LLL cos I might end up being convinced to carry on and actually die of tiredness. Moan over, feel better now.

Day 3 and I caved.
I must confess I was feeling a little loss at not feeding on demand anymore but as she was seeming less and less persistant I decided to continue what I'd started.
Until, 4pm this afternoon, she asked, I refused, she sunk to her knees and dropped her head to the ground, not crying but a kinda dispairing sound. I scooped her up in my arms and offered my breast and we were both happy.
PS She's not pinched or bit me once and she's had about 4 feeds since then.

Spose sometimes it makes sense to back down. We're staying at my folks for a few days which is unfamilar to DS. First night he would not sleep in the nursery, so we took him to bed with us. Normally we'd perservere until he went down in his cot but the poor thing seemed so relieved to be staying with us. And he didn't wriggle or ask for a feed once so maybe caving occassionally is the way to go Treadmillmom..
...Actually, must also confess I fed DS this afternoon when he asked. He fed for a minute then jumped down and went off to play. Think I'm caving completely!