Breastfeeding for 9 days . . losing will to live!!

[chubbychipmonk]

Hi,

My DS was born on 11th Dec and we accidently stumbled upon breastfeeding after he latched on straight away after birth. I hadn't been determined to breast feed while I was pregnant so have taken myself by surprise by continuing with the breastfeeding.

I am now wondering how long it takes to fall into a routine? He is feeding every 2- 3 hours during the day and through the night . .I am totally exhausted and feel like a dairy cow!!

I have tried expressing milk so that my partner can help with the feeds but he's not interested in taking a bottle through the night.

Am seriously considering going onto formula but feel it would be such a shame as DS has now regained his birthweight, is puting on weight and latches on really well . . its just me whos not coping with it all!!!

How long does it take for a routine to be established and for my DS to sleep more through the night? I dont want to give up but would like some ray of hope that it does get easier!!

sorry if this isn't what you want to hear, but 2-3 hours day and night is perfectly normal for a BF baby. Their tummies are tiny and breastmilk is so easily digested (unlike formula that leaves them feeling fuller for longer) that they need little and often. This also helps you to establish your supply.

Supply and demand is usually better established around the 6-8 weeks mark and they will start sleeping longer, however some BF babies need feeding through the night well into their second year, although some babies will sleep through much much sooner; my DD was 8 weeks but my DS2 not till 10 months.

Have a look at www.kellymom.com particularly the bits on the normal course of breastfeeding, and make sure you read the bits on growth spurts as they can be particularly difficult, especially if you aren't prepared for them!

It gets sooooo much easier, although the initial weeks are a bit intense.

chubby it sounds like you're doing great, and what a great start to breastfeeding you've had

tbh every 2-3 hours is very good for a newborn baby, their tummies are tiny and they can only take small amounts at a time.
it IS exhausting in the beginning, but you're giving your baby the best possible start in life, and that's gotta be worth the sleepless nights right?

I found with my second (who didn't really think much of sleeping at all), that it was far easier to change my own behaviour, than to keep trying to change his.

so, i used to leave him downstairs with his dad and i'd go to bed at around 8pm. dp would just bring ds up to bed fed, with minimal disturbance

i slept in the afternoons. stuck a dvd on for ds1, and dozed on the sofa

dp got up with both the boys in the morning, and let me have a bit of a lie-in.

sleep deprivation is HELL when you're in the middle of it, but it doesn't last that long in the grand scheme of things and you do get used to it to a certain extent.

as for when he'll fall into more of a routine/sleep more... how long's a piece of string!?
my first slept was having only one night feed by 6 weeks, and was sleeping through at around 5 months
my second fed hourly (at least) until he was about 9/10 months and is only sleeping through the night now he is gone 2 years!

meant to say too, i think it's easy to ascribe to breastfeeding problems that actually are just "newborn baby problems"
giving a bottle of formula may not change a thing, so then you;ll be up every 2/3 hours but with the added faff of preparing a bottle.

i think breastfeeding can be really tough-going in the first few weeks, but long-term it is SO much easier.
we switched to mixed feeding at around 4.5 months with my first, and fully formula fed by 6 months, and I can honestly say that I preferred feeding ds2 even though he fed so frequently. it was soooo much easier

You're doing fantastic! It does get easier, really it does. Every 2-3 hours is normal, but eventually you should get some longer stretches (can't say exactly when, as every baby is different). Just try to take it easy, eat well, get your partner to wait on you as much as possible.

Formula will mean a hell of lot more messing about with bottles, sterilising, mixing, cleaning--and certainly more expense and not as good for baby.

My DS is 4 months now, and from what I can remember from those sleep deprived days, we were down to just two night feeds fairly quickly and down to only 1 night feed around 4 weeks. He slept through the night a few times around 6 weeks, and then started doing it consistently from about 8 weeks. Not promising it will go that way for you, but it does happen, and I am still breastfeeding.

if it makes you feel any better, a study on overall sleep showed that bottle feeding mums got less sleep overall than bf mums. the early weeks are one long crap sleep deprivation but it doesn't last long - try to accept and go with the flow. also - bf lying down in bed is the key to night feeds - give it a go

I would echo what DAISY said.

Don't expect too much too soon. It is gruelling in those first several weeks/few months but if you just persevere it will get easier.

As long as you are giving 5/preferably 6 feeds during daytime/evening hours as soon as your ds is able he should start sleeping through the night. Until then he needs the night feeds.

My dd2, now 6 months, was sleeping thru' at about 11 weeks using this principle. Dd1 was about 10 weeks.

The thing I found hardest during those first weeks was the constant nappy changing and hand washing in the night. I would have just washed my hands from one change and she would do a massive squelch and I'd have to start all over again knowing I still had another side to feed on.....AARGH!

I do sympathise, it is bloody hard work, but in the grand scheme of things it is not a long time and you are doing a great thing for your ds. You just won't get alot else done in the meantime!

I must admit I enjoyed those early days of long and frequent feeds, especially when it was my 1st DC (I have 3 now), it was a great excuse to put my feet up, phone, remote control, cuppa, biscuits/chocolate all within arms reach and endless box sets/movies to plough through.
It was like a vacation.
If you don't fancy co sleeping at night, which I never have (I like to roll around too much), daytime naps with baby latched on is a pure delight, their little body tucked into yours dozing and grazing.
Honestly, just let everything around you go, these milk maid days fly by, honestly.

I agree with treadmillmom. Just focus on the feeding.

TBH the first 2 weeks of bf can be the worst. Then I would say it takes till your baby is about 4-6 weeks old before you feel like it is established and easy. BUT bf is by far the easiest option after that. Just so easy to do and convenient.

I would really recommend just going with the flow and demand feeding. Try not to watch the clock or get into a routine. Get some sleep when the baby sleeps and enjoy.

just reading my post back it sounds a bit harsh, sorry

It does sound like things have got off to a great start and latching badly and not gaining weight are the two big things that can cause women to stop before they are ready.

I also didn't mean to make light of sleep deprivation, as I have been there and it is bloody hard work. You sound like you are doing well though and that your OH is supportive, which is more than half the battle ime!

Expressing is difficult and getting baby tio take to it can be a challenge, especially at such a young age. Can you talk to a BFing counsellor to get some advice about expressing, as it isn't really recommended at such a young age.

Also local BFing cafes or support groups are great as it helps to just be with people who are going through it with you as well.

and someone said co-sleeping. It isn't for everyone, me ioncluded, but we did a sort of co-sleeping lite, where I had a sidecar cot so DS2 was next to me so I was able to pull him over for a feed as soon as he whimpered, but he had his own space that I couldn't get into and risk smothering him. that suited us really well and we did that till he was about eight months old before moving him to his own room...still took another couple of months before he slept through, and I got much less sleep when I had to get up and go to him in another room than when he was in the bed next to me.

IT does get better and as TIY said, when it is going well it's the easiest thing in the world

It's really, really, really hard at first, then all of a sudden it's the easiest thing in the world.
Just seen my friend turn that corner with her 7 week old DS. It's lovely to see her enjoying it now

I was also tired out with breast feeding; but what I found most helpful was my husband bringing her out of the cot; me latching her on; feeding and then her being transferred back to the cot.

I can also admit that we didn't (actually hardly ever) get her back to the cot. She just slept in the bed with us.

By that time; tiredness had caught up; when she cried/was hungry; she was lying alongside me and I just fed the fullest breast first.We all slept in the same bed; just semi waking for feeds.
This (by account) is considered dangerous., now.

I just thought it was natural (instinct); and that's why I (myself) did it.

Breastfeeding really is a labour of love - every day you give your LO is another gift so keep it up if you can!

3 hourly feeds are so normal, and important for tiny babies - the sooner you bulk them up the sooner they sleep through IME. Plus you may find if he isn't as keen on the formula, he could actually drink less, and therefore make that bulking up process take longer, as a friend of mine recently found.

So many people give up before it clicks and gets easier and it's a shame because it feels fab to crack it! I had thrush, split nipple and a lower supply than my first hungy baby needed, so was v.nervous 2nd time around, but so glad I did it again.

My sisters who have BF'd 6 between them always say things get easier during the second half of the second month and I've found that realy true. If you want to protect your chances of continuing, reduce other commitments and don't be too "busy" and therefore needing the baby to fit around you as opposed to focussing on that bond and rhythm that you will find.

And there are lots of experts on here to help when times get tough!

Good luck!

Thanks for all the replies. Can you mix Breastfeeding and Formula?

Juat like to say that mix feeding won't necessarily inprove his sleeping, but I guess it would mean DH could do one feed while you got a longer rest.

you can mix breastfeeding and formula feeding
but you would want to be careful about not giving a bottle too often too early

babies soon get the idea that a bottle is instant gratification and in some cases can then start refusing the breast

it's also not really advisable to start it just yet. right now your milk supply is getting established. hormones made your milk come in, and baby feeding lets your body know how much to make.
if you start supplementing too early then baby takes less from the breast and it can impact long-term on the amoutn of milk you make

obviously some people do this and it turns out just fine, but it can be a problem

many people mix bottle and formula very successfully - don't believe those who say you can't.And it helps to make you feel less like a milk cow. Depending on the weight of your baby, he/she will probably start to go 3-4 hours after a bottle feed soon.

I'd also say, look at the long term. My children had very little breastfeeding and they are both bright, lively and healthy - plus I didn't suffer from post-natal depression which would have happened had I carried on with breast feeding

Hi chubbychipmonk. I am in a simiar position as you; our DD was born on 13th Dec and we are currently going throgh the feeding very little and often scenario, which is pretty tiring. Our problem is more that she will only suckle for about 5-8 mins and then she's had enough and sleeps. I mentioned it to the midwife the other day as I was concerned about not being able to fully drain one side before, to get the hind milk, before moving onto the other side, but midwife seemed to think it wasn't too much of a problem. Also have quite sore nipples although think that might be due more to her having a strong suck rather han a poor latch. I do worry that she is not getting enough of a 'mouthful' of the nipple but without yanking her mouth open, how can I get her to open it really wide? is it normal to have some discomfort? It certainly isn't really painful, bu perhaps could be described as uncomfortable...

I think mixed feeding can be done but it is my understanding that you need to have established the bf first. So think it is best to wait to baby is 4-6 weeks old before introducing a bottle.

OP - agree you've made a great start. I did mix feeding from about 6m with dd and it was fine. Doing just bf with ds, and I have to say it's much easier not to have faffing about with bottles and sterilising.

Bex - my ds fell asleep really easily too. I spent most of the first few weeks tickling his ears or blowing gently on his head to try to keep him awake! ime it gets a bit better as they get older and they can stay awake longer.

Also - dd didn't latch on properly when she first fed, and it was incredibly painful and made my nipples bleed. If you're able to describe it as just discomfort, it sounds ok to me, but you should get someone to check. Can you go to a well baby clinic or breastfeeding cafe and get someone to watch you feed, to see if the latch is ok?

chipmunk TBH I couldn't stand the thought of bottle feeding - it sounded like a nightmare of extra work - cleaning/sterilising/heating/cooling and in the middle of the night trying to get it right - awful.

I know that it's terribly, awfully tiring to start with especially as you can't just "get away", but in the longer run the odd night's sleep with someone else having your son versus how easy breastfeeding is once it's established (and no I'm not saying it's easy for everyone, or to start with) makes it totally worthwhile - and that's before you even get into how good it is for him.

As someone said, it's easy to mix up BF with newborns just being hard work - and it really, honestly, gets SO much better in a few weeks.

Good luck with your decision and whatever you choose, make sure it's what you're happy with as that's all that matters.

Bex, try to point the nipple and touch if necessary the tip of her nose from above, tha way she will open her mouth wide trying to reach, and then put it in her mouth. Hope that helps.