DS being a lazy BFeeder during the night - anything I can do?

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My 8 week little boy is exclusively BF and since birth has been putting on weight well (75th centile) even though he has a tongue tie which we've yet to sort out.

He is a very very lazy feeder at night and it's starting to drive me round the bend so was hoping for some advice!

He goes to bed (after good feed and bath) between 8 and 9.30 and generally will sleep until midnight or 1am. One lucky night he went till 3am but that was a one off I think!!

However, this is where the trouble starts... He wakes me up by fussing and grumping - I'll rock the crib which will generally give me another 15/30 mins or so, but eventually they escalate and I'll grab him before they turn into full on crying. He doesn't really wake up and so when I put him to the breast, he'll latch on but only feeds for about 5-10 mins very well and then another 5-10 mins with me coaxing him by stroking his neck and palms. He'll then fall off the breast sound asleep and purse his lips and no amount of nipple in his face will make him take any more!! Incidentally, if he gets a bad latch (which he does often due to the tongue tie) then there's no way I can take him off and start again as he just won't take the breast again.

Sounds like a dream in that I don't have to settle him back down, but because he's not getting a good feed, he's 'awake' again in 1 - 2 hours and the cycle starts again. However, the interval to the next feed is shorter etc.

I've tried rocking the crib, giving him a dummy, picking him up to calm and putting down again to see if he'll go back to sleep, but once up he starts bashing his head against my chest (what he normally does when hungry) so I'll feed him. All the time he's not really awake (eyes closed all the time).

Just to clarify, I feed him on demand and am very happy to continue doing so providing he genuinely wants a feed - but I'm getting the feeling that he's not really hungry. Last night he work up 1.5 hrs after a 10 min feed, suckled for 2 (!) mins and then fell off again.

So fellow MNers. Any hints or tips to either a) get my man taking a proper feed that won't completely wake him up or b) extend the time between feeds? I think you're probably all going to tell me that this is normal and that it'll pass in which case I just have to suck it up, but I'm living in the hope that someone can help!!

I'd wake him up a bit more tbh - a nappy change always does the trick!

Tbh at 8wks this sounds quite normal - iirc ds didn't start sleeping for more than a couple of hours until about 12wks when he suddenly started dropping night feeds of his own accord but few thoughts

Have you tried cluster feeding in the evening before he goes to bed and then giving him a "dream feed" when you go to bed? A dream feed may not work if he doesn't latch on well when he's sleepy but it may be worth a try.

Will he take ebm from a bottle? If so, could you give him a bottle when he first wakes at night so that he gets a good feed?

If he's only sucking for a couple of mins could it just be for comfort? Have you tried getting your dh/dp to try and settle him the second/third time he wakes? (With my ds once he can smell the milk on me he wants some whether he's really hungry or not!)

I have the same here with my DS2. He's 6 weeks but a big boy - 12lb. Last night he 'woke' at 2 fed for 4 mins, then woke at 3 fed for 2 mins, woke at 4 and I gave his dummy then he slept until 6. Even the 6am feed was only about 8 mins.
Am sure the 2am waking is more habit now and he can probably go longer. Tried all the waking tricks except the nappy, although I do that at 6 and he still falls asleep after a few more minutes.

Watching this thread with great interest ... and OP, you are not alone

tweet would second advice about nappy change and dream feeding - def worth a try. But it does sound pretty normal - just my DS seemed to get into the hang of sleeping for a few hours at a time, he'd go back to wanting to feed all the time - so it does change - and then change back again

He may also be waking up and simply wanting a little comforting suckle to get back to sleep. This is totally natural, and has great benefits in terms of keeping your supply up and keeping all the good hormones in your body in action, so please don't be too hasty to dismiss his needs, even if it doesn't feel like a 'proper feed' to you .

Congratulations on doing so well despite the tongue tie.

I would second the advice re nappy change. To get a very sleepy baby to take a good feed is nigh on impossible. I always fed one side, asleep, then nappy change to wake up before next side (or if didn't wake up, tried to 'help' by blowing on face, even resorting to water on feet - not fun in the middle of the night, but led to a better night overall for all of us). Worth a try. If it makes no difference, then at least you know that the next waking isn't because he's been too sleepy during the first feed.

Also - have you considered the tongue tie may be making the feeds harder work, so he may not want to bother trying that hard when sleepy? If/once you get that sorted, it could improve? We had DD2's tongue tie snipped at 6wks and was a very simple procedure.

Good to know I'm not alone scarlotti and that it seems fairly normal missjackson and cassel

Re: Nappy change - funnily enough we've been avoiding changing him at night unless absolutely necessary as he howls the place down and then is a nightmare to get back to sleep. It may be worth trying though to see whether it makes a difference seeing so many of you are suggesting it

Haven't gone down the route of a 'dream feed' as I'm so scared of messing up the one good chunk of sleep he (actually, I get) when he goes down at 8/9, but will prob get the confidence soon to give it a try and see how it goes.

He doesn't cluster feed per se, but I do feed him from one breast fully before his bath and then the other one straight after (he'd normally only have one breast) and that seems to do the trick. Will have to try tanking him up before that too and see what difference that makes.

I'd like to get DH to settle him when he wakes, but I feel very guilty as he's at work the next day and I don't want him to be totally knackered. He's off work the next two weeks though for Christmas so maybe we could try this whilst he's got no excuse .

Thanks for all the suggestions folks - lets see if they make any difference!

Oh, also re: tongue tie. That's a very good point accot - we've finally got our referral through for 9th Jan so all being well will be taken care of then...