I'm still breastfeeding my 2yr old, is that "normal"?

[MangoMama]

Hi mums! My family and I have just relocated to London. As the title says, I am still breastfeeding my 2 yr old DD, because we think it's the best thing for her. What I would like to know is if most people would consider this "normal" and acceptable, or should I look for privacy when nursing her? I always try to be discreet, but DD can be pretty demanding and sometimes I have to nurse her in public places, like the tube or her playground (again: I try to be discreet and cover with a scarf or something similar). The thing is, I have no idea whether this could be offensive to some people, what do you think? Also, up to what age are babies usually breastfed in the UK?

Yes, it's normal. It's also lovely and wonderful. But, although I don't live in the U.K. (West Coast of Canada) I would say it's not common.

I also try to be discreet, but breastfeeding a toddler isn't like hiding a tiny baby under your shirt... mine sprawls across my lap and it's quite obvious what he's doing. But I don't mind - if anyone gives me the cat's-bum-mouth I give them my "seriously, f*ck off" look .

Where have you relocated from?

My Dd will be 3 on Saturday and she's still bfing too. She doesn't usually ask when we're out, but if she did ~ I would. There's no harm or shame in it at all...

Hi mangomama - well done, I found breastfeeding hard work so you have done really well to get to two years!
Just to add to what Jacksmama said, you should be prepared for some negativity if you do feed her in public as it isn't that common to still be breastfeeding a toddler in the UK. Where have you come from and what was the reaction there? If nothing else, people might double take as it is not something you see very often. But if you don't mind that, go for it - it's not really anyone else's business but yours.

We're from Spain Although there extended BF is not very common either, and most babies are weaned at 3-6 months (in part because we have only 16 weeks maternity leave, which I believe is too short).

Love Canada! My dad used to live in Quebec!

I fed my youngest until she was 3 1/2 , but mostly at home after about 2 1/2. I never had anyone say anything negative to me, but we live in Scotland where their is legal protection for breast feeding babies & toddlers.Or maybe I have a " seriously, F O " face

Like the others, I don't think its common here but I don't care

Hi claraquak, I just saw your message...

In Spain I wouldn't really worry about what people might or might not think, but here in London we are making lots of new friends and doing our best to "fit in". On the positive note, I haven't had any negative comments or looks yet, but still, I wanted to see what you people thought. Unlike FiveSoloRing's my DD asks a lot for BF a lot when we're out... which I am trying to avoid, but haven't got a clue how to do it. Whenever I say "no" she starts crying and screaming... She's my personal "boobie monster".

Now seriously, if any of you have any tips on how to make DD understand that BF should be done at home, I'd really appreciate them. How did you do it? Personally I don't care if she wants to BF until she's older, but I don't want to have my boobies out the whole day. Plus, it's freezing here in London!

Develop your Look That Kills. And maybe bring along an alternative drink for DD? Or offer a big hug and a little rocking back and forth and something she associates with comfort, like having her hair stroked, or hand held, or a little back scratching -- some sort of comforting touch that can be used outdoors. You could start this at home, then do it outdoors when you're out, and you know what works to calm her down. Or you could bring along a favourite 'lovey' for her to cuddle while you're out when she needs the little time out and emotional refill that bfing represents to her.

I think you're starting off on the wrong foot if you try to hide something you believe is the right thing for you and DD from potential friends in the interests of fitting in. Be yourself, do your own thing, be confident -- you'll attract people like yourself eventually.

I fed one of my boys to 3.5, but after a year, stopped doing it in public. (Not that I think BF in public over a year is unacceptable, I just didn't like being tugged at or hassled.)

What I did, to teach him this, was to only breastfeed in specific places (my room, his room). If we were anywhere else, I would distract him.

Easier to do that at a year than at two, though - good luck.

Bienvenidos MangoMama!

Pop over to this thread for lots of advice and shared experiences of other natural term breastfeeders

I'm currently feeding ds (not at this precise moment in time lol) and he will be 2 in 6 days time

During the day he tends to limit his feeds to when he is at home, I tend to use distractions to stop him feeding when we are out and about - for the same reasons as you, he tends to tug at my clothes and knead my boobs and it's quite annoying! I have fed him out in public both in the UK and Spain (my Dad is Spanish and lives near Alicante), and no-one has batted an eyelid... not that I would notice unless they actually came up to and objected vocally!!

No it's not normal, not in this country.
I havent fed ds in public since he was about 2, as he's morning & night only now.
i do tell people though if it comes up.
more people need to do it, then it will become normalised

"Also, up to what age are babies usually breastfed in the UK?"
No idea of the stats, but IME for people who don't stop before they choose, about 7-8months

I think you'll find that most stop well before 7-8 months SPB, and by choice.

Definitely not normal, though should be.

I also stopped feeding my dd in public around 2, with only 1 or 2 exceptions that I can think of. Unfortunately you probably will stand out amongst new friends if you start feeding in front of them straight off, but if they are the kind of friends that you really want because they share the same values, then it shouldn't be a problem at all.
My friends all know that I still feed 3.10yr old dd (and 14 month old ds) and are just so used to it that it's not really a topic of conversation any more (except for a few 'eeks' when I announced that I'm pregnant again!).

really? Out of all my friends, other than the ones that stopped early because of problems, the others stopped once their babies were properly weaned.

I'd second those who say it is not the norm, but it should be.

I am in Scotland and though was crap at bfing ds 1, am looking forward to (hopefully) making a success of it with the one curently on board so I can proudly bf in public and take advantage of our bfing legislation. I have to say though that while out with bfing friends, I have never encountered any disapproving looks. Maybe we;ve been lucky, but most people don't notice or just smile. A 2 yr old is still a baby imo. The more bfing that goes on on public, the better imo. Makes it easier for everyone.

Then you have a great bunch of friends stealth . Even my NCT crowd had all stopped (bar one with her 3rd dc) by 6 months.

according to unicef data from 2005,

Overall, only 35 per cent of UK babies are being exclusively breastfed at one week, 21 per cent at six weeks, 7 per cent at four months and 3 per cent at five months.

shocking. congratulations on still bf at 2 years - i personally would love to see more
NIP-ping for older toddlers, as i will hopefully be one too (dd is only 9 months at the moment). i am cultivating my "seriously, fuck off" face in preparation... so no, it's not normal, but imo it is natural.

regarding making new friends, i would be armed with your specific reasons, statistics if you like, and be prepared to address any questions they have securely and confidently but not militantly. as others have said, if they are the kind of friends you want to make, they will respect your choices even if they do not share the same ideas (some of my closest friends have very different ideas of parenting; i even have one at the other extreme but it must be said that i don't enter into any kind of parenting discussion with her as i would find it difficult not to comment negatively - but i digress. the point being that they don't have to agree, just respect and that is the important thing.)

good luck - and what an amazing thing you are doing for your dd.

Cant sleep wont sleep and stelth, At BF group out of regular mums that attend(its more of coffee aft then problem/support group) my DS is oldest at 8.5mth!!
Think ill carry on til 1yr ish??

What Jacks said.
It's normal, it's not common.
It's lovely, congratulations!

really?? I live in a place with low bf rates as well! Obviously once we've started we just don't stop

DS is 3 tomorrow and still BF a lot. I don't do it in public now though for fear of the reaction from people.

I wish it was more common to see it in public but I'm not thick-skinned enough to lead the way.

Oh I am Spotty! Dd asked up until about a year ago ~ usually when she was in a shopping trolley, so face to boobs! and I'd distract her as it wasn't convenient at all whilst shopping. If we were in a 'normal' situation like having coffee or the like and she asked, then I'd just go for it.
I used to be the woman that went OMG! at hearing(but I've never seen)of Mums bfing older children, but I have changed that attitude nowadays(had no choice emoticon).

Thanks all for the replies! I'll have to practice my F.O. face LOL Truth is that to the moment, nobody has said anything bad. But I'll be prepared when/if the time comes... and also, I'll try to negotiate with my boobie monster.