REFUSING THE BREAST

[PODGE5FB]

IS THERE ANYONE ELSE OUT THERE THAT HAS HAD THEIR BABY REFUSE THE BREAST AND JUST CRY. IT SEEMS TO HAPPEN WHEN HE IS OVERTIRED. ANY SUGGESTIONS?

How old is your baby? is it your first baby? and how long has it been going on for?
Try giving him a feed before he get's over tied. when this used to happen with mine there could be a number of reason's.If they were over tied sometimes just to hold them in your arms and cuddle them for a while until they have calmed down and then try the breast again.Sometimes they can be over stimulated and just need some quite time a cuddle and then to be left to drop off to sleep with a dummie/thumb whatever.

yes, happycat i think you're right. he is 31/2 months old and my second baby. i think one of my problems is that i bottle fed my first baby and have found it hard to get used to not knowing how much milk he is getting. he has had a cold and cough recently so that doesn't help. when weighed last he'd only put on 31/2 oz in 1 1/2 weeks. the hv said not to worry but you can't help it. also, i used to be able to calm him at the breast but i don't seem to be able to do that anymore.

He just might not feel all that comfortable at the breast at the moment with his cold when we are all bunged up with cold it seems worse when lying down,when tied,and we tend not to eat as much I bet when he is over his cold you will be able to settle him on the breast again poor little man I hope he gets better soon.

Have you had his ears checked? Sometimes babies cannot tolerate lying down because ear infection can cause them pain. Worth getting checked out since he has a cold. The antibodies in breast milk will certainly help him get over it more quickly. Sounds as though this problem is associated with him being unwell. Sounds as though you are having a confidence crisis as well. Babies gain less weight as they become more active therefore using up calories. Try not to have him weighed too frequently - it is not a good indicator of how a baby is doing. You have obviously done a great job so far, and when he is feeling better he will breast feed better again. Definately get the ears looked at by a doctor though. HTH.

thankyou for your advice and words of wisdom, we did have him checked by a doctor and she couldn't find anything wrong. i expect it is his cold.having him weighed is a constant pressure worrying that he's not getting enough etc. anyway do feel better now.

My 5 1/2 month dd does this sometimes at the last feed at 6pm. It is because she is so impatient that she can't wait for the let down. I have to keep popping her on each side until the flow begins, then she feeds for England!

Glad to hear you feel a bit better podge5fb. When you feel anxious that can transmit to the baby which then causes more anxiety IYKWIM
Just keep telling yourself that you are doing a wonderful job. Have a look at the website posted below and that will boost your confidence as you can find answers to any questions you might have.
here

Keep up the good work

My second child, Isabel (now 2), refused the breast from birth and it caused me a great deal of anguish. Because of it, I had to stay in hospital until she would take at least 50ml so I expressed and fed it to her from a bottle. When we got home she still refused to the amazement of my doctor and health visitor so I continued with the pumping which was hard work but I stored enough supplies in the freezer for emergencies. It actually worked out well in the end as my husband and others could feed her sooner than planned. Have you tried expressing?

I had this problem with my 3rd son when he was a few months old [1979] .He cried loudly each time I lay him down to breastfeed & stopped when I sat him up.This was distressing for me & him & lasted for 2 days until I lay down myself & held him in a semi upright position .He still whimpered while sucking .I suspected his ears were the problem so asked my doctor to check & both ears were red & inflamed .After a teaspoon of Calpol before each feed, for a day,+ the dreaded antibiotics [which seem to cause more problems in other areas ] he stopped crying at feeds .I was desperate & he was very hungry [I was giving boiled water with a spoon ] but all the health visitor suggested was that he'd probably prefer a bottle !!
I breast fed him for 18 months gradually tailing it off after 12 months .

podge5fb - I too have had similar problems (also first baby bottle fed so exactly same crises of confidence with second baby as you!). For me it was usually overtiredness and a minute or so of sucking on the dummy helped calm her down while I got her and myself into position, then slipped the dummy out and the boob in. As to weight-gain, also exactly the same issues. Have a look at a thread called something like 'Feeling threatened by the centiles'. If your ds is generally happy, alert, making wet and pooey nappies and developing appropriately, then the weight gain is not too relevant.

thanks milch it's reassuring to here of other people that have had similar experiences. my ds does refuse more in the evenings when probably overtired. he also doesn't sleep for longer than 45 minutes at a time during the day so that doesn't help.as he's 16 weeks i'm going to be start weaning soon so maybe he'll feel better soon.

I have a close friend who had a baby boy 1 week ago. Despite her efforts, my friend can't get her baby to latch on. She says that he turns his head away and starts screaming. She finally decided to give him the bottle and is now giving him both expressed milk and formula. I will be spending the entire day with my friend this week and would like to give her some advice. She has already seen numerous consultants, and has tried nipple shields and every other gadget available to assist, but apparently nothing is helping. I do think she wants to continue to breastfeed, but she is also getting frustrated and doesn't seem to want to hear advice. I had no problems at all with my DD latching on from the time she was born, so I don't exactly know what to say. Thanks.

Has she seen a local breastfeeding counsellor rather than one from the hospital? Is the midwife still visiting?

Sounds like the baby has been traumatised trying to be latched and is having none of it. It might help if your friend just cuddles her ds skin-to skin at the breast without actually trying to latch him on. That way he will get to know that it is actually a nice place to be. Also cup feeding him can help because that avoids him sucking on a teat. The cups are like little medicine cups and you get them supplied with breast feeding kits. The midwife or counsellor should be able to show her how to do it. Doesn't take a baby long to cup feed. He may well look to suck at the breast when he hasn't been sucking a teat.
If she doesn't want to try that then I think it is definately persevering with the cuddling at the breast when he does not need fed. Then offer him the breast when he is not starving. Express some milk so he can taste what is there. This problem can be overcome but it would be good is she had some really xperienced help from a B/F counsellor. Is there a B/F clinic nearby?
Need to go out just now.
This might help this

this might be better here

2 experiences that might help people in these situations.

My baby has a very definite preference for my left boob. Sometimes if I try to start him on the right one he will cry and refuse it, but I find I can sort of fool him if I feed him using the football hold - a position he is absolutely not interested in on his favourite one.

My ds was premmie and had jaundice and didn't have the energy to latch on - it didn't help that he was separated from me for his first two days of life and given a bottle with a nice big hole in it. So while in hospital I expressed and gave it to him in a bottle. We went home after 2 weeks and I was determined to breastfeed. With advice from my midwife I would put him to the breast first (using nipple shields - which he decided to give up himself eventually) then when he wouldn't take anymore (and initially he took next to nothing) I would give him the bottle of expressed milk. I started only offering the breast a couple of times a day and then built up to every feed (my nipples were super sore also). But the amount he was drinking from me wasn't increasing so the midwife suggested I stop expressing and only offer him water in the bottle. It absolutely worked and after only a couple of feeds he realised he shouldn't bother holding back for the bottle. From then on it was plain sailing.

This is good advice, AussieSim and Mears - Thanks for the threads, Mears. I've read them and will pass on as much info to my friend, ifif she hasn't already given up. We are in the U.S., and I know that my friend has seen lactation consultatants and has spoken to numerous people including her pediatrician. In my opinion, she is extremely frustrated and doesn't want to turn to anyone else for advice. She is also paying quite a bit for these people to give her advice.

Someone suggested trying to feed him when he was asleep, this worked well. DS is now 6 months old and I'm still breastfeeding, even though he now has teeth!