Talk to me about tandem feeding...

[fufulina]

DD is 1 next week and I'm 6 weeks pregnant. Was planning another baby, but didn't expect it to happen quite so quickly! So - DD will be nearly 20 months if all goes well when this one arrives. She loves the boob, and I'm really unsure how to tackle the bf and pregnancy/tandem bf thing.

Please can people share their experiences? Is it worth weaning her soon so she doesn't associate new baby taking her boob? Is tandem feeding doable for that gap? How does that work with colostrum?

Sorry if ridiculous questions - I wasn't expecting to feed her this long and can't imagine weaning her from her morning and night feed yet...

Thanks very much

I would recommend reading 'Adventures in Tandem Feeding' (can't remember the author, but you should find it if you search on Amazon).

Other than that, I'm due next May when DS will be just over 2. I don't intend on weaning him beforehand, although I have heard that some children do self wean due to the reduction in supply. However, some who do re-start when the milk supply reappears!

I know people who have done it very successfully and it is completely possible. I think it's just a matter of making the decision as to whether you are up for it or not and then sticking to it. If you decide to wean, I would look for further advice on when the best time is to do it. I would imagine you'd need to do it a reasonable time before the baby arrives, but could be wrong about that.

I'm sure people with more experience will be along with some more advice.

i planned to tandem feed, but sadly ds2 weaned when he was around 16/17 months due to the huge reduction in my supply.
I was (and still am) really gutted, because he loved breastfeeding, and he has replaced it with certain other behaviours, so i think he really misses it and wasn't ready to wean.

If I were doing it again, i would definitely make sure to encourage plenty of bf (even though it hurt to feed him too)

you will produce colostrum before baby is born, ready for his/her arrival, and your toddler will drink that- so be prepared for newborn baby poos from her!!

Thanks both for your replies - very helpful. It's already started to hurt feeding DD and I've been very lucky and it's never hurt - so that's new. thisisyesterday - I had heard that milk supply goes down massively around month 4/5, and like you - I really don't want to wean her because she so loves feeding. Oh - the guilt of two starts!

Adventures in.... is by Hilary Flower. Very good book.

There is a 20 months gap between DS1 and DD and I'm tandem nursing them. Just realised that I have been for nearly 10 months now.
It has it's challenges but for DS it's definitely been worth it as he wasn't ready to wean then (and still isn't!) and I think he would have resented it more had I forced weaning. He was feeding lots though. It mihgt be easier if your DD is only feeding morning and night.

Thanks WoTmania - she only feeds morning and night the 4 days I go to work, but she's been feeding about 4 times a day when I'm not at work. Can you elaborate a bit? How does it work? Does the baby feed first? Do you ever actually feed them at the same time? How do you do bedtime??? (Can you tell I've been getting somewhat worried about how I'll juggle two boobs and two babies...?) What have been the challenges? Sorry to have so many questions but I don't know anyone in RL who has even considered it - but I really don't want to wean her just because I'm pregnant!

Thanks very much

Right - elaborations...

How does it work? - baby comes first, DS is very good about waiting til she's done. I then feed him on whichever is fuller side. If DD is asleep and I'm getting full (still happens as I have over supply) I will nurse DS first so as not to wake her.

Do you ever actually feed them at the same time? - Yes but it makes my skin crawl so only in dire emergencies. (I was once doing a sling demo at a peer support training course and ended up also giving them a tandem nursing demo as DS was so upset)

Bedtime? these days DH cuddles DD while I get the DSs to sleep. DS2 has never been a nurse-to-sleeper which helped. He night weaned at 15 months and I introduced a no nursing in the dark rule (It was bloody painful and in the dark I couldn't see to latch him on which hurt even more. He went back to self latching once DD turned up). I think DH just had to take over boy bedtimes for a while. To be honest it's in the hazy past.

The Challenges? - I found it very painful at the end of my pregnancy (I would count to 3 or 10 if it got really bad and he would come of at some point of counting). It is very easy to feel very 'touched out' if you have constant physical contact .
DS2 also went through a phase when he didn't like waiting to nurse which we both found very frustrating.

I wouldn't change it for the world though. DS1 weaned at 12 months (and 3 days) when I was 17 wks pg with DS2. I didn't realise that this was because of the lack of milk and sometimes really wish he'd carried on especially as I now know so much more about tandem nursing.

Hope that helps. Do you have a local La Leche League? They might have tandem nursers there you can question closely compare notes with.

WoTmania - thanks you so much for taking the time to reply - really really helpful. DD is one on Sunday and is mad for the boob at the moment - I wonder if she knows something is up! So weird about the skin-crawling feeding together thing - I was reading another thread about tandem feeding and that came up there as well. Anyway - thanks very much again for your time and help.

my 2 are 25 months apart. I cut down to 1 feed a day about half way through pregnancy, and by the end thought he might give up completely. In fact I think I didn't feed him for several days in a row right at the very end. And then I didn't feed him for the first few days after dd born. I'd been really really worrying about tandem feeding, in a proper pickle about it. And then I saw him looking really sad, and I had a whole lot of complicated feelings about him, having had the second one, and so I said what about a feed and his whole body lit up with joy, it was quite extraordinary. He's still feeding once a day (mornings) now dd is 8 months; he'd quite like to feed more often, but I've only incredibly seldom agreed. It's been wonderful - and so unexpected.

2jam - that's another thing, I think it helps prevent sibling rivalry as they still get that special time with you

I have 20 month old and 2 week old daughters and am tandem feeding.
I did try to wean during pregnancy but am on my own most of the time and my 20mth old loves feeding - not slowing down at all during the whole 9 months!
I had to have a section and was away from no.1 for 4 days in total. I thought if she self weaned during this time that would be great and if not then i planned to tandem feed. Her first work when I returned from hospital was "boo!".
I have the tandem feeding book, but it would be so nice to meet other mums who are doing this. It doesn't seem to be a very common practice and I personally would love to chat and share concerns and advice!

I'm still tandem nursing my younger two. It's certainly interesting .

I was lucky that I knew a number of people doing the same. Mainly through LLL and another BF drop in. Do you have any near you as it can help not to feel like the only one.

My daughters are now 25mths and 5mths and i am feeding the older one morning and nights only. DD1 was feeding like a newborn for a while but this was just too difficult and I decided to wean her during the day as she was getting quite upset. She is happier with this and so am I. I think it is great to tandem feed, but I was getting really dehydrated, and I think in order to keep it going you need to eat like a horse and drink as much as possible. I found it tricky to find the time to do this and got a bit run down. Good luck to anyone tandem feeding full time!