I'm 16 weeks with DC3 after a 9 year gap since DD. I only managed to feed DS (now 11.7) for 2 weeks - lack of support, lack of me asking for help, lack of me resting as so busy trying to show everyone I was "supermum" then cracked nipples, mastitis, DS losing weight and so moved to FF - milk had failed so badly by then (even though it did come in well at day 3) that I didn't even get engorged when I stopped feeding him. I was/am extremely pro-BF and was devestated by my failure and it was the major contributor to my PND. I was really traumatised by it and everytime I saw anyone BF, read anything about BF I felt nauseated for years. I wasn't very confident that anything would be different with DD but it was. I got good support before leaving hospital but little afterwards but somehow managed to do a lot of things I now realise were exactly right - I was more relaxed (realising being a supermum has nothing to do with having a tidy house), we co-slept, I carried her in a sling 24/7 because I wanted to and I exclusively BF to 25 weeks, had expressed buckets of milk so going back to work at 4 months didn't matter and fed her until 14 months when she gave it up. It was a really healing experience and I've read a lot since and am pretty evangelical with friends but I am pretty scared that I might struggle again in May. I now live in N Ireland which seems to be a bit of a breastfeeding backwater. I have never seen anyone BF in public and I am amazed at the people who don't even consider bf. This will defo be my last baby - advice would be appreciated