Tandem feeding - undecided: please help

[Sariska]

I am expecting DC2 in early March by which stage DC1 will be almost 2. He still has a BF first thing in the morning. This isn't because I planned it this way but because he is still really really keen and also, if I'm being honest, because he tends to wake up early (anywhere between 5.30 & 6.30 is typical) and I use it as a way of getting to stay in bed for a while longer.

I thought he might self-wean while I was pregnant but I don't think he is going to. He does now sometimes want a beaker of milk after he's finished feeding from me (or after I get tired of him going from one side to the other repeatedly. However if I offer him the beaker first, he is Not Happy. That said, if I am not there when he wakes up (e.g. have left for work early), he is fine. He is also fine with me giving him regular cows' milk before bed.

I am not averse to the idea of tandem feeding but I have some questions, which the book I've read (Adventures in Tandem Nursing) hasn't really answered. I guess they're practical questions more than anything else.

From my reading, I understand that, at least until supplies are established and predictable, I should make sure that the baby feeds first. All well and good but what happens if e.g. baby wakes for a feed at 5ish, DS wants one at 6ish and baby wants to feed again at 7ish. (Guestimate of baby feeding times is based on DS as a newborn.) Can I feed DS an hour before the baby is likely to want to feed? Is he likely to be so overcome by the bountiful supply of milk that he'll try to guzzle it all? Does anyone have any ideas of how I can make DS wait for his feed? (All I can think of is to get DH to take him off to a different room because if he sees me he will get very upset.) And, on that theme, should I try not to feed DS until the new baby's feeding is properly established? I've heard that quite a few people do this but I don't much fancy the meltdown that this will probably cause.

Also, has anyone started tandem feeding and regretted it?

To anyone still reading, sorry for all the questions and the length of the post. I am probably blowing the issue out of all proportion but obviously if I am going to try and wean DS I need to do so now.

What do you want to do? I think this would be the best place to start. Decide what you want and then find a way of making it work. Have no experience of tandem feeding two of different ages, only twins, so can't offer any advice as to the practicalities but hope someone else can.

According to Kellymom here it's not so much of an issue once your milk's in. No direct experience of it just yet as DD2 isn't due until the end of Feb, but I'm planning to tandem feed. I wouldn't see a problem before nursing your DS 1 hour before the baby as milk is being produced all the time. HTH and good luck

i didn't know that, just fed whichever wanted feeding first (DS 2 1/2, DD now 12 weeks). That's worked fine for us - think DD has had to work for the occassional feed but never been bad (she rarely cries) and she's just abovr average weight.
It's worth it if for no other reason than no engorgement (or an easy fix!!)

oops hope she got plenty of colostrum

I am tandem feeding 3.10 yr old dd and 14 month old ds (and if they don't wean soon will be feeding a 3rd come June!).

Whilst I would have been quite happy if dd had self-weaned before ds was born, I have never regretted tandem feeding.

Yes, I think that you could feed to that schedule, but my suggestion (and what I did in the early weeks, although for a different reason) would be to keep your ds to one breast only, and let the baby have the other one at both of those early feeds, and then vary or have both during the rest of the day. When the baby arrives there will be plenty of milk in just one compared to what he is getting now whilst you are pregnant, so he should be satisfied with this.

Thanks for everyone's comments - and for the Kellymom link. I'd totally forgotten to check there.

As curiosity says, I do need to decide what I want to do. I am undecided but feeling better about going ahead with tandem feeding after reading your responses. I particularly like the idea of keeping ds to one breast; I think that would work as he only switches now due to insufficiency of supply. In fact, I think (judging by what I can see) it's colostrum now. StealthPolarBear, I'm sure your dd got enough colostrum. They really don't need much, do they? Actually, I sometimes wonder if my ds got any at all after birth. He was very sleepy and really only started feeding when the milk proper came in. It doesn't seem to have hurt him!

My DS2 was 19 months when DS3 was born and like you I'd sort of thought DS2 would self-wean during pregnancy, but didn't. I did, without thinking too much about it, keep DS2 to one breast mostly and that seemed to work fine. The only time I really thought about it was in first few days making sure DS3 fed first and got the colostrum. Never seemed to be a problem with supply and I was feeding them both during the day. I really recommend it. We could stay in bed in the mornings for much needed extra sleep, just because I could feed my toddler back to sleep. Also during the day we could sometimes just cuddle up together and feed and toddler would have quiet time and I think maybe it made it easier for toddler to accept new baby.
I think it would've been v difficult for toddler if he'd seen new baby feeding and he wasn't allowed to.