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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

I am Stopping BFing and have just cried buckets.

4 replies

MadameOvary · 07/12/2009 23:01

Decided that tonight would be night I stopped BF. DD woke as usual and it has been my habit to settle her, if she was upset, with a feed. Partly because I am so sleep deprived, partly because I couldn't see the harm in it.
Lately though it's become clear that the feeds are purely for comfort. She can't get much milk, I don't leak for example, or get very full. And as she wakes several times a night, I figured only stopping BF might lead to either of us getting a better nights sleep.
DD had a full on meltdown, screaming with rage and frustration. I put earplugs in and told myself I was going to see this through. I couldn't comfort her, she just thought that meant milk, so I laid her down repeatedly - about 20 times - till she put her head on my lap and quietened. Then I stroked her hair till she fell asleep.

I've had a good cry and feel miserable and gutted at this ending. I don't know if I've done the right thing, but the sleep deprivation is really starting to affect me now, and we co-sleep too.

I got a lot out of BF, but I felt that now was the right time as we both need a good nights sleep. I don't know if this means I have to stop completely. I feel terrible for depriving her tho, and something like grief for the end of a beautiful time.

OP posts:
WilfSell · 07/12/2009 23:06

awwww...

sending you some [unMN] huggy vibes. Do you want to stop - or just stop the night feeds? You sound clear at the start of your post but less clear later on.

I had to cut out night feeding on demand as I was exhausted and so was he. But we still feed, but only at bedtime, and first thing in the morning. Sometimes when he's ill it goes up a bit, and sometimes when I pick him up from nursery too. But mostly he knows it is for bedtime only. I will probably stop that too soon, but just wanted to say it doesn't have to be all or nothing...

But if you have decided, it will get easier. You can't go on forever and it will always be hard. You will never forget those quiet times with your baby either and even though she won't remember, you will and you will know she had all your love and attention and nutrition and and and...

kneedeepinthedirtylaundry · 07/12/2009 23:07

Hey MadamOvary,

It's impossible to leave anything beautiful behind without regret...

If you want to keep feeding during the day, do it. But if it's time to stop, it's time. Good to go with your gut.

I stopped completely after 41/2 years of BFing about 2 months ago. My ds still misses it very much. I still have milk!

MadameOvary · 07/12/2009 23:19

Thanks for your nice comments. You're right, I'm undecided, I just need for us to be able to sleep!
I had never let DD cry and felt I needed to toughen up a bit for her sake as well as mine.
Oh this is so hard! It's instinct to want to comfort her but we'll see how it goes. Not sure I can sleep now! She is still asleep though so that's good.

Thanks again for your kind words.

OP posts:
busybutterfly · 07/12/2009 23:25

Had problems feeding my first 2DC's (one in SCBU, one with tongue tie) so b/f DD2 was a breeze. I loved it. And pretty much the day she turned 10 months she didn't want me any more .

How old is your DD?

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