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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Islamic attitude to breastfeeding

83 replies

PrettyCandles · 07/12/2009 17:14

One of the playground mums mentioned last week that her dd would be 2yo in the new year and she was not looking forward to having to wean her. When I said that she could continue bfing as long as she and the LO wanted, she said that she had to stop for religious reasons. I think she said it was an instruction in the Koran. But then the children came out of school and, as ever, the conversation was lost.

But what was she talking about? Is this something all practicing Muslims do? Does the Koran have somthing to say about bfing?

OP posts:

SolosScrapingUpForXmas · 07/12/2009 22:10

Riven, I was a little tempted to go for it, but I don't think I need anymore x's against my name! I need brownie points!

foxytocin · 08/12/2009 01:21

I can't see anything in the verse that advises stopping at 2. It recommends feeding for at least 2 years. It is also seeming to recommend wet-nursing too. IN fact, in some Muslim countries, if you wet nurse a child he becomes your child(ren)'s milk sibling. So people 'work out' whose children they can wet nurse as it means they will not be able to marry later on. ON a parenting yahoo group in a Muslim country, one woman from that country alluded to wet nursing as something that is not uncommon even today.

Oh, it is also a reason why in some Muslim countries there are no milk banks. So the sword is cutting both ways. Don't anyone point out however that it hasn't stopped blood banks from existing though. [grr]

ProcessYellowC · 08/12/2009 07:43

A Bangladeshi woman who did a peer supporter course with me told us it was 2 yrs for a boy, 1 year for a girl, and you were allowed a month or two of flexibility. She was married to a religious teacher!

I suppose in all religions the texts are interpreted differently depending on where you are and which branch you are following.

sarah293 · 08/12/2009 08:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

squashimodo · 08/12/2009 08:50

I don't think direct breastfeeding is compulsory, it is recommended, and if not possible then alternatives are allowed. It should be the first course of action, though. I have not been able to breastfeed all of my children, and as a muslim, have used formula, knowing it is the best thing I can do.
I have had blood tests and have discovered that I most probably have pcos, whch is the most likely reason for my very low supply, I have to supplement with formula. First and foremost in islam is that the baby has to be fed.
It is also unheard of in islam that a baby should be left to cry, the baby comes before everything.
It makes no difference whether the baby is boy or girl.I have never heard of that.

squashimodo · 08/12/2009 08:51

How many times can I type baby in one post.....

squashimodo · 08/12/2009 08:55

Foxy, there is an opinion that the relationship of milk sibling is only formed when a certain minimum amount of bm is consumed from a single donor (I forget how much), so it is allowed to use milk from a milk bank. Alot of countries do not apply islam properly, so not surprising rerally that there is lack of milk banks.

foxytocin · 08/12/2009 09:47

the one yr for girls and 2 yrs for boys reflects cultural biases, not Islamic practice. It would be interesting to ask one of the religious teachers who claim the above to find a place in the Koran or the Hadith where the Prophet recommends different treatment of boy and girl babies.

Squashi I think that it is religious men in particular countries who advise government bodies on what is permitted (milk and blood banks). The point I was trying to make is that when it comes to issues that only impact women and babies/children, the laws that come out of men can be discriminatory.

I believe Kuwait (but may be wrong) has milk banks but the UAE doesn't. they are both Sunnis and very similar politically, economically and how culturally but have come to different conclusions wrt milk banks.

gorionine · 08/12/2009 10:02

The Qur'an advises a two years BF periode there is no verse to my knowledge that says you cannot carry on after that. DH and I always understood it as an "at least" rather than a maximum but I will ask a more knowledgeable person about it.

ImSoNotTelling, I BF all my children "in public" but I can fairly say I am pretty sure no one exept my babies saw my uncovered brest in the process!

WRT sex while Bfeeding I will have to ask as well about that.

gorionine · 08/12/2009 10:03

sorry, I missed an entire page of posts!

Poohbearsmom · 08/12/2009 10:33

Hi guys im muslim too and always knew it was a min or 2 years not a max but its usually the norm to start gently weaning around the babies 2nd bday. KeithT my family are algerian and they also say you must wean if you become preg whilst already bf (which i did, but kept feeding for almost 5months more and was heartbroken to stop ) but not that its ''poison'' but that it is nutritionally less beneficial because your body will naturally take the 'best stuff'/most vits etc for the baby growing inside you, then for the milk, then the little bit left over for the mum... They all said formula would then be the better option as he'd had over a yr of bm at that stage, anyways dont know anything from quran or sunna sayin it, but thats my exp on it... The quran actually has guidelines on pretty much all aspects of life im not the most knowledgeable but feel free to ask any time

gorionine · 08/12/2009 10:39

Poohbearsmom, Is it an Algerian or Qur'anic thing to wean when you are pregnant (Dh family is Algerian as well) I fell pregnant with Ds when DD1 was 11 month old, I carried on BF her until DS was born. None of my SIl Bfed in Algeria, all formula fed!

Poohbearsmom · 08/12/2009 10:42

O and as for the sex thing not sure but i do know for certain that a man can only refuse his wife if he is sick, and he MUST Make it fully enjoyable for her/fully ''pleasure'' her (ya know what i mean) so there is no 'wham bam thank you man' allowed its actually a grounds for a woman to seek divorce!! Now for ya

Poohbearsmom · 08/12/2009 10:53

Gorionine really?? im tot shocked they all ff! my family told me the breastfeeding rates in the country was about 98% and even women who had alot of trouble bf would give ff and bf as much they were able... Il ask about the weaning thing weather its cultural or quranic and get back to ya

gorionine · 08/12/2009 11:03

Will do some research on my side as well. I am not sure my sils are very representative of Algeria in general though, it is just 4 women I am talking about so Algeria might still have a 98% BF mums!

Poohbearsmom · 08/12/2009 12:14

Ah ya your right like there is over 35million ppl there... What part of the country r your family from mine r capital, do ya like it there we might move over someday, we'r hoping to anyways...

motherbeyond · 08/12/2009 12:17

this is facsinating stuff!i did wonder what happened in other countries/times gone by, when a woman couldn't bf.i had lots of trouble,to my great sorrow.and my sil wasn't supplying any milk at all apparantly

gorionine · 08/12/2009 12:19

DH is from arround Blida. He is in two minds about going back to live there. He wants to but then usually after a two weeks holiday there goes off the idea and so on...

Poohbearsmom · 08/12/2009 13:33

Ya mine is abit like that too, there are so many things that drive him mad bout alg eg they all drive like manic's with a death wish and there is loads of corruption like its still a case of 'who ya know' etc but with the kids we'v seen kids here becoming 'cheeky' and accepting the drink and dating culture as normal cause it is normal here thats how i grew up but tot diff over there... We know a good few ppl who'v moved over as their kids hit teens but i feel it'd be easier to adjust the younger they were... Would you like to live there?

gorionine · 08/12/2009 13:46

Honestly? no, but mostly because I do not feel it wold be possible to see my family when I do want to. ATM ,although my parents live in a different country than us, the cost and time it takes to travel there makes it much easier than if we were in Algeria. I also get very scaed of feeling isolated as I got very depressed when DD1 was little and we lived in a village near Banbury where people pretty much kept themselves to themselves and the solitude drove me insane I cannot help thinking I would feel the same in Algeria.

I can understand where you are comming from WRt to the children's education though.

Poohbearsmom · 08/12/2009 14:32

Im tot isolated here, iv no friends and apart from the occasional visit from my little sis who lives n da other side of the country its jus me and my boys so for me i think i might be less isolated there cause they r a real ''family'' family
And im lucky 2 of my sil and my niece speaks eng but at least here i can drive to the supermarket and do da shoppin etc but i hate being n a car there let alone drive one... and the lang, but im sure id eventually get it... There are so many pro's and con's for here and there its jus a matter of weighing them up i suppose...

Poohbearsmom · 08/12/2009 14:40

How did you deal with that feeling of solitude when your dd1 was little by da way? Or wat did you do to change it?? (Mumsnet is my way)

gorionine · 09/12/2009 08:57

Fortunately, Dh found a job in the North West where we moved. I feel really at home here. I do not have millions of friends but the ones I have got are really fantastic. My neighbours are really nice and made me feel welcome as soon as we met.

I really do not want to think about how things could have turned out if we had stayed where we were as I was litterally eating myself to confort (6 months there = 6 stones put on). Went from a beautiful figure to a beach whale one, still am overweight now but happy!

OP, Sorry I got side tracked and forgot to ask about salary for BF mums, I imagine it would be anything as long as both the mother and father agree on it but will confirm.

Tryharder · 09/12/2009 10:36

Just asked my Asian (Pakistan origin) work colleagues about BF/Koran and they said they weren't aware of anything about it.

DH is from a Muslim country (The Gambia) and obviously bf is the norm there.

Someone made an interesting point earlier in the thread - can't quote exactly - but something about how women from cultures where bf is the norm have less problems bf than here in the UK where many women struggle and fail at bf. I wonder why that is?

Poohbearsmom · 09/12/2009 12:51

Gorionine im glad it worked out so much better for you Tryharder your friend really must not hav much quranic knowledge (not that i know more then a grain myself) Someone pasted the exact words from the quran earlier if you'd like to read them. My personal feelings behind some of the reasons why women who want to bf here&cant is the lack of support&guidance not only from health prof's but from family, who's input can really Make the difference, i think sometimes having a relative or friend who has been there&will really stand by you&help in any way possible, 'mind' you, show you again & again & again how to do it in those vital early days, then i think it is more likely to work... And because of it being a part of our religion that we have to bf then it really has continued through the generations so mothers/ grandmothers/aunts etc have the first hand knowledge & wisdom to share where as where im from (irl) it was NOT the normal or encouraged way to feed for a very long time&some skill may hav been lost

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